Got a feeling he’s going to end things…am I being crazy?

[ColdAsIcepoles]

I’ve been seeing someone for eight months and thought it was going well. A few days ago we went to an adult panto together and he met my friends and family and I his. It was lovely. We are both 29. He even made a joke about our wedding day when we were at panto which is why I’m now confused/

We usually message throughout the day on WhatsApp. It’s how we communicate the most. I last saw him on the 23rd in person and he hasn’t replied since then but has been on WhatsApp loads. I’ve sent him Merry Christmas today and had zero reply but he’s been on instagram posting his Christmas and has been on WhatsApp a lot. (I stupidly keep checking if he’s replied and it’s always he was online 20 mins ago for example)

I know I’m going to sound a psycho but I have a gut feeling he might be messaging someone else. I don’t know why even, there’s zero evidence of this- it’s just the past week or so, he’s been on WhatsApp a lot especially in the early mornings when he didn’t use to. I know I sound crazy.

I even messaged him earlier and said “Did you like the present I got you?” And nothing. I’m not going to message again, but it’s making me feel a little down! I don’t expect him to drop his festivities to pander to me of course- just a reply would be nice😂

Are the messages showing as read?

I think it's really off. To not reply? We've all been there but I don't think there is a good enough explanation.

I'd message again and ask him why he hasn't messaged you? You should have been his first merry Christmas text this morning.

Leave him alone and work towards moving on. Stop cyberstalking as well.

Don't message him anymore.

Also, work on learning how to give people space... He has a life that doesn't revolve around you.

You are not entitled to all of his time, and energy, and space.

According to you, you just have seen him 2 days ago.

Honestly, I can understand why possibly he isn't responding..

Bad advice.

Op you don't know what's happening in his life, and you aren't entitled to a response, especially a response within the time that you want.

It doesn't matter if you see them posting online and being frequently online.

It doesn't matter that you communicate often. Or anything. You know that he is still physically alive. He doesn't have to talk to you today or any other time if he doesn't want to.

You see he's busy, and you see that he has chosen not to respond.

People need personal space, op is suffocating him.

Also, op doesn't have to be top priority. To insinuate that op should be the first to hear from him above all others, and put before other things, is wild.

Op isn't getting an explanation or response.(op isn't entitled to one)..nor hearing from him in the manner they would like to..

It bothers op. Therefore op should just move on.

Op needs to leave him alone.

Bombarding him with messages and cyberstalking him isn't going to help things.

Sounds like you've been ghosted. I'd expect a boyfriend of 8 months to say Merry Christmas.

Shit of him, sorry.

It's not bad advice it's just different to your advice.

I personally think it's in poor taste after 8 months to not message the person you are seeing, whose family you have met to say merry Christmas or thanks for the gift.

She is demanding much more than that is she?

It's completely unacceptable to just drop off the end of the earth without even an 'I'm not interested sorry'.

He may be having some huge crisis but even so she can see he's online so a simple "just going through seeming will speak soon' wouldn't hurt.

Checking his online presence periodically isn't going to do you any favours, that will just drive you around the twist. Not sure it amounts to stalking but it's definitely not healthy.

To the people saying you are being needy or expecting to much of him YOU ARE NOT. It is not unreasonable to expect a bf to message you back least of all to say merry Christmas because if he cared about you he would be thinking about you and wanting to speak to you and wish you a good day. Dont accept these low standards and think its acceptable this far in for him to not message back. Its not like he's abroad he's been online as you say. It does sound like ghosting very rude of him to not even explain why. It will be hard but be prepared to move on. Archive his chat so you don't get tempted to keep checking it or turn of your own last seen so you can't see his.

Even if he has had some sort of emergency it's not impossible for him to send a quick text. I managed it, sent 5 words to my friend- dad in hospital, text later.
Sorry Op , it sounds like he's ghosted you.

Wow, people on here are so weird. Many of the responses are totally ridiculous.
OP has been with this guy for months. He's met her family and now has ignored her for 2 or 3 days. It's totally unacceptable.
Wanting space is fine but communicate that. Also OP hasn't asked for more than he has been giving any way.
It's an awful way to treat someone. OP you haven't done anything wrong and your expectation is not too much.
He is behaving terribly and don't tolerate it

She isn’t ’stalking’ him. She just behaving normally. Her bf of 8 months disappears into the ether. When she wonders why, or tries to find out, she’s accused of staling him.

He sounds like a knob.

Also OP if I were you I'd just leave it and not engage anymore. As far as I'm concerned this would be enough for me to not want to be with him anyway. I'd just ignore him if he gets in touch.

I think he'd at least say Happy Christmas.
🤷‍♀️

No checking in Xmas eve or Christmas day after meeting each other's friends and dating for months, let him go OP. You deserve better. Dont message him again x

What a twat. Not even thanking you for your gift. Has he read your messages?

Get rid, even a family emergency can be texted quickly. Not worth any more of your time op x

I'd say it's one of two things

1. He is messing you about seeing other women
2. He isn't that into the relationship.

Either way. Not great. It's down to you how you want to proceed from here.

Any man that was really into his girlfriend would be texting back in xmas day.

You're not a psycho.

He's being rude and it's not okay.

You don't think she deserved a happy Christmas message from him, or a simple reply to her messages, after seeing him for eight months?

My BF of 6 months is abroad with his family and texting me all the time, planning our next date for when he is back, checking if I'm having a good time or if I need anything

OP raise the bar and find a man who at least knows how Ito communicate when things are not going well or when his feelings change. His behaviour is unacceptable.

Agree - just plain rude.

youre an established couple and he hasn’t bothered to text ‘Merry Christmas’?

no wonder you are upset.

but don’t react. Wait and see what he says when he gets in touch.

do you think the families meeting made him freak out? Either way - keep your cool, enjoy your holiday and discuss it with him when you see him.

It sounds like he has ghosted you at Christmas. All the people being cool about this are odd I think. Can you just call him and find out for definite. If he doesn’t get back to you that is really poor on his part.

Thank you! I promise I’m not some cyber stalker! It’s just out of character for him that’s all, but then he’s acting normal on instagram posts etc so I don’t think he’s going through some sort of crisis either.

@Burntouted I did say that I didn’t expect him to pander to me, and of course space is fine but it’s just out of character and most people message on Christmas!

So he could be busy, odd he has not even messaged a happy christmas but be prepared for the fact he has ghosted you. Do you want to be with someone who drops you like this without a reason? Even a quick 'sorry got stuff going on, will be in touch in a few days' message is not too much to ask.

Give it a few days (say the weekend) and then decide whether to hang on in silence or 'end the ghosting'. I hate ghosting, I think it is pathetic, and unless abuse or safety is a concern, people really should have the guts to communicate 'It has been really great knowing you but not sure we are right together. All the best'. Nothing dramatic, just clear cut and respectful.

This behaviour is so weird and you’re so accepting of it, that I’m inclined to think he’s pulled this shit before.

You don't know what most people do.

It would be nice, but he currently isn't doing this.

You wrote:

"I last saw him on the 23rd in person and he hasn’t replied since then but has been on WhatsApp loads. I’ve sent him Merry Christmas today and had zero reply but he’s been on instagram posting his Christmas and has been on WhatsApp a lot. (I stupidly keep checking if he’s replied and it’s always he was online 20 mins ago for example)"

Constantly monitoring his online presence, and posts is cyber stalking...even though you feel it's not.

Checking once to see if he is still amongst the living was okay. ..because of concern. . In the last two days you admittedly revealed that you know that he has used the app a lot, "loads" has been online a lot, has posted, that you check often and every time you look his active status always states that he was online 20 minutes ago.

That is obsessive behavior and cyberstalking.

A lot of posters have started threads about some men doing these things such as the online stalking, and those men are bashed, insulted, and called creepy..tell some women they need to report this to the law and get orders of protection, etc...

....but when some women do this, a lot of people don't hold her accountable nor in the same regards.. they tell her it's perfectly acceptable..that she's not doing anything wrong..

Well...it's unacceptable for anyone to exhibit this type of behaviors and cyberstalk.

If you don't like what you feel like he's doing..and what's happening..

Disengage, block, and work towards moving on.

It’s understandable that communication around Christmas will drop off as many people with family but there’s no excuse not to drop the odd message at least saying merry Christmas, thank you for presents, look forward seeing you when I’m home etc.

No one is too busy for one or two texts just to say hello.

Id leave if OP and seeing he contacts you then decide what you want to do. Don’t contact him first.

Sorry. It I would expect a boyfriend of 8 months to message me on Christmas Day even just to say merry Christmas!

I can't imagine a world where that isn't normal!

All my close friends have dropped a message to say Merry Christmas thanks for the present! Even those having busy days with family! 🤷‍♀️