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Original poster

Got a feeling he’s going to end things…am I being crazy?

231 replies

ColdAsIcepoles · 25/12/2023 20:04

I’ve been seeing someone for eight months and thought it was going well. A few days ago we went to an adult panto together and he met my friends and family and I his. It was lovely. We are both 29. He even made a joke about our wedding day when we were at panto which is why I’m now confused/

We usually message throughout the day on WhatsApp. It’s how we communicate the most. I last saw him on the 23rd in person and he hasn’t replied since then but has been on WhatsApp loads. I’ve sent him Merry Christmas today and had zero reply but he’s been on instagram posting his Christmas and has been on WhatsApp a lot. (I stupidly keep checking if he’s replied and it’s always he was online 20 mins ago for example)

I know I’m going to sound a psycho but I have a gut feeling he might be messaging someone else. I don’t know why even, there’s zero evidence of this- it’s just the past week or so, he’s been on WhatsApp a lot especially in the early mornings when he didn’t use to. I know I sound crazy.

I even messaged him earlier and said “Did you like the present I got you?” And nothing. I’m not going to message again, but it’s making me feel a little down! I don’t expect him to drop his festivities to pander to me of course- just a reply would be nice😂

OP posts:
Bloom15 · 26/12/2023 14:14

What a shirty thing for him to do OP. After 8 months he should be calling you to wish you Happy Christmas.

I couldn't be arsed with him after this if he got in touch now

LadyWithLapdog · 26/12/2023 14:41

OP this is terrible behaviour and I’d find it difficult to move past it. V hurtful.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 26/12/2023 14:48

Has he sent anything yet? I wouldn’t message any further since you’ve sent two messages already.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/12/2023 15:21

I think it's very possible one of hismates or family made a negative comment and he's one of those guys that can't possibly man up- his mates and family have to think you are amazing or he didn't like your family and friends- the timing is such that I think either of these options is very very likely.

I also think he's a complete rude twat and you have dodged a bullet

Chaiandtoast · 26/12/2023 15:23

You’ve only been together 8 months. He can’t even be arsed to reply to you or wish you happy Christmas and you don’t trust him. Where is this going.

zaazaazoo · 26/12/2023 17:47

Burntouted · 25/12/2023 22:24

Leave him alone and work towards moving on. Stop cyberstalking as well.

Don't message him anymore.

Also, work on learning how to give people space... He has a life that doesn't revolve around you.

You are not entitled to all of his time, and energy, and space.

According to you, you just have seen him 2 days ago.

Honestly, I can understand why possibly he isn't responding..

Edited

Oh stop it. After 8 months it is perfectly reasonable to expect Christmas greetings and thank yous for gifts. Raise your bar if you think this is too much

zaazaazoo · 26/12/2023 17:48

Burntouted · 25/12/2023 22:46

Bad advice.

Op you don't know what's happening in his life, and you aren't entitled to a response, especially a response within the time that you want.

It doesn't matter if you see them posting online and being frequently online.

It doesn't matter that you communicate often. Or anything. You know that he is still physically alive. He doesn't have to talk to you today or any other time if he doesn't want to.

You see he's busy, and you see that he has chosen not to respond.

People need personal space, op is suffocating him.

Also, op doesn't have to be top priority. To insinuate that op should be the first to hear from him above all others, and put before other things, is wild.

Op isn't getting an explanation or response.(op isn't entitled to one)..nor hearing from him in the manner they would like to..

It bothers op. Therefore op should just move on.

Op needs to leave him alone.

Bombarding him with messages and cyberstalking him isn't going to help things.

Are you ok? You sound stressed and overwhelmed

m00rfarm · 26/12/2023 17:51

Burntouted · 25/12/2023 22:24

Leave him alone and work towards moving on. Stop cyberstalking as well.

Don't message him anymore.

Also, work on learning how to give people space... He has a life that doesn't revolve around you.

You are not entitled to all of his time, and energy, and space.

According to you, you just have seen him 2 days ago.

Honestly, I can understand why possibly he isn't responding..

Edited

It is Christmas. She bought him a present. THe least he could do is message to say thank you. At any other time of year you are right. But not Christmas.

NutellaNut · 26/12/2023 18:03

Of course you’re not being unreasonable expecting your partner of 8 months to say ‘Merry Christmas’ as a bare minimum! And ‘thank you for the present’ wouldn’t go amiss either! Some posters up thread have said some crazy stuff that you shouldn’t expect any response because he’s obviously too busy and you are being too demanding. I think you’re right though, OP. If he’s ghosting you at Christmas it does indeed look like he’s going to end it. Pretty spineless way to go about it though.

OhGoodie · 26/12/2023 18:30

Being online on WhatsApp all the time, day and night, but not sending you a message after EIGHT MONTHS together on CHRISTMAS. He’s seeing someone else OP. Best to move on. Sadly, a similar thing happened to me way back in the day. He completely ghosted at Christmas when he went home to see family. Never saw him again. Obviously in hindsight it was a lucky escape, but we’d dated for six months and was a massive punch in the gut. Even being dumped on Christmas would be better than being ghosted. It’s incredibly disrespectful, cowardly and unkind.

CandyLeBonBon · 26/12/2023 18:41

Blimey. From someone who has ACTUALLY been stalked, please ignore some of the more bizarre posts! It's not unreasonable to anticipate a response based on previous contact levels and you're not wrong to feel upset. How you handle it moving forward, is another matter though. What is the outcome you'd like op?

EarthSight · 26/12/2023 19:09

Your post reminded me of something I read, which was that instead of just breaking up with a woman, men will often become progressively worse boyfriends until their female partner eventually leaves them. The men don't want that burden, that guilt or decision making on their shoulders, so they just act worse & worse until it's done for them.

SamW98 · 26/12/2023 19:13

EarthSight · 26/12/2023 19:09

Your post reminded me of something I read, which was that instead of just breaking up with a woman, men will often become progressively worse boyfriends until their female partner eventually leaves them. The men don't want that burden, that guilt or decision making on their shoulders, so they just act worse & worse until it's done for them.

Me and my friends were discussing that recently. A lot of men don’t want to be seen as the bad guy so rather than being honest and ending it, they either slow fade or start acting like a twat until the woman snaps and then turn it into - it wasn’t me it was her

EarthSight · 26/12/2023 19:26

@SamW98 In some cases I think it's just simple piss taking / boundary pushing - they take things to the very edge to see exactly what they can get away with. In some cases they take it too far then it's all tears and regret, but then it's too late. The woman won't take him back as he's shown his true face and the trust is gone.

Original poster
ColdAsIcepoles · 26/12/2023 20:34

Thanks all- So he responded this morning to my last message which was did you like your Christmas present and he put

“Yeah good thanks” and nothing else. I haven’t bothered responding and don’t think I will! I just feel soooo disappointed as he was so decent up to now!

He did get me a Christmas present and it was theatre tickets for us in January which I have on my email as he sent them a few days ago

OP posts:
solice84 · 26/12/2023 20:38

So awful
I've been seeing someone roughly the same time and we see each other a lot and keep in contact a lot too
If I didn't hear from him for a day it would be extremely unusual
But then nothing shocks me when it comes to relationships anymore

SamW98 · 26/12/2023 20:40

Oh fuck him OP. Don’t give him the satisfaction of a response to that pathetic message.

I would keep the theatre tickets, take a friend , go for drinks etc and have a bloody good girls night out

Hibernatalie · 26/12/2023 20:43

Sorry he turned out to be such a disappointment.

Keep your head and standards high.

taylorswift1989 · 26/12/2023 20:47

ColdAsIcepoles · 26/12/2023 20:34

Thanks all- So he responded this morning to my last message which was did you like your Christmas present and he put

“Yeah good thanks” and nothing else. I haven’t bothered responding and don’t think I will! I just feel soooo disappointed as he was so decent up to now!

He did get me a Christmas present and it was theatre tickets for us in January which I have on my email as he sent them a few days ago

What an absolute dickhead.

Just never message him again. He thinks that a pathetic message here and there is enough to keep you on the hook in case he wants to pick you up again.

Can you take someone else to the theatre with you?

Sandia1 · 26/12/2023 21:00

Absolutely- don't reply and ask a friend to go with you to the theatre (just make sure he doesn't try and sell them!) xxx he's shown his true colours and you deserve much better than this coward.

CandyLeBonBon · 26/12/2023 21:07

ColdAsIcepoles · 26/12/2023 20:34

Thanks all- So he responded this morning to my last message which was did you like your Christmas present and he put

“Yeah good thanks” and nothing else. I haven’t bothered responding and don’t think I will! I just feel soooo disappointed as he was so decent up to now!

He did get me a Christmas present and it was theatre tickets for us in January which I have on my email as he sent them a few days ago

Well that's just fucking rude op.

Sorry Flowers

Lweji · 26/12/2023 21:15

Unless he is ill, which is possible, it doesn´t look good.

Just get on with your life. Either he has a good excuse, or let him go soon.

Needhelpsupport · 26/12/2023 21:17

Definitely don’t bother replying to him !

Allelbowsandtoes · 26/12/2023 21:21

ColdAsIcepoles · 26/12/2023 20:34

Thanks all- So he responded this morning to my last message which was did you like your Christmas present and he put

“Yeah good thanks” and nothing else. I haven’t bothered responding and don’t think I will! I just feel soooo disappointed as he was so decent up to now!

He did get me a Christmas present and it was theatre tickets for us in January which I have on my email as he sent them a few days ago

That is so, so unnecessarily rude. I'm sorry OP, what a dickhead and I imagine has taken the shine off your Christmas. 😔
Hold your head high and don't speak to him again, you're worth much more than that. You sound lovely x

category12 · 26/12/2023 21:31

ColdAsIcepoles · 26/12/2023 20:34

Thanks all- So he responded this morning to my last message which was did you like your Christmas present and he put

“Yeah good thanks” and nothing else. I haven’t bothered responding and don’t think I will! I just feel soooo disappointed as he was so decent up to now!

He did get me a Christmas present and it was theatre tickets for us in January which I have on my email as he sent them a few days ago

😦What a dipshit.

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