Is anyone awake? DV

[Isanyoneawake44]

The police have taken my husband into custody not long ago, I have to stay awake so they can come back for a statement. Its DV related. He's also in the army.

Does anyone know what will happen now? We own the home jointly, will he be allowed back here?
I think I did the wrong thing, I can't do this.

I've got 3 children at home, no local support, am pregnant and have to make it through tommorow on no sleep.

Only just seen and read this thread. What an amazingly strong person you are! You have done so well and I can't imagine how hard it must be.

I hope life becomes a bit easier now the children aren't at home all day.

Thank you. I just think it was that something in me snapped and I found some strength, or saw an opportunity.
Totally the wrong time but that's typical.

How are you doing today? Have you realised how strong you are now? I hope so.

Thank you,
I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row. I think a fixed fee with a solicitor is the way to go when I have some money.
I have heard lots of people talking about doing a divorce themselves which I thought I'd never do, but I was told by a solicitor that it will cost about 10k for a simple divorce with no childcare and a financial break which is scary.

Mind you, I wonder if it is too early to be talking about the divorce word?

I have no idea how I'll manage when the baby arrives

Hope everyone is well and once again thank you

I don't have any experience of divorce, but I think the cost of it will at least partly depend on the complexity of finances and the cooperation of the other party.

I would suggest you start a new thread in the Divorce forum and include a list of assets, i.e. home equity, savings, investments, pensions etc.

I've just had a look online, as DV is involved you might get legal aid.

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/getting-help-and-advice/divorce-and-separation-advice/legal-aid-and-other-help-if-you-cant-afford-divorce-or-separation-fees#Do-you-qualify-for-legal-aid-

Never too early to discuss the word, and you will survive this and thrive.

Thank you, unfortunately I earn too much for legal aid.
I shall definitely post on divorce forum

Hi was just thinking of you and thought I’d check in and see how your all doing are things bit more settled with the children back to nursery/school

I hope the weekend has been okay.

Hi all,
I think we are definitely finding our new normal, everyone is calmer and it's actually really nice.
I feel so much less stressed!
Not thinking too much about the future for now

How is everyone else?

Really glad to hear your all doing ok Well done, All ok here back to school and work tomorrow looking forward to it actually

I'm actually fine - and thank you for asking!

I'm so glad you're doing better.

Glad to hear things are improving you are smashing this !!!

It's going to be a good week.

I saw perinatal mental health today who upped my meds and would like me to see a psychologist for what they think is either emotional blunting or some kind of disassociative problem which is maybe related to past trauma and past pnd

You sound so much stronger @Isanyoneawake44 and it’s fantastic that you’re getting the help you need through the mental health services. You’re an inspiration 🌺

Wow OP that's such a positive update from you. I'm so glad to read that.

You should be so proud of yourself, Great you have upped meds and I’m glad the peri mental health team are being supportive with the referral hope the children are doing ok and being supported at school keep going ❤️

My God this thread is difficult to read, the absolute scumbag ‘men’ that some women put up with is astonishing. Why in the world would you have yet another baby with this person???

That is a very unhelpful comment and one which will sting the OP.
No need for it.

Thank you for that. Of course its something I hadn't thought of at all🙄 still, when you aren't aware of circumstances you could form this opinion.

So abusive men can put pressure on women to keep them 'happy' for one, and secondly a vasectomy can fail... but more fool me.

Sorry to be blunt

Well said, OP.

I am sick of women who blame other women like this.

It shows a complete lack of understanding, and it's cruel and callous to knock a woman down when she's already distressed and dealing with so much.

It is, and it's easy to have that judgement we've all thought it at some point. I have sat and judged myself but that's a bit like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted....

I think, for me, I look at it that I am where I am, doing the best I can and there's not a lot more I can do than that, looking back with hindsight is great but can be very unhelpful and cause ruminating thohghts- not ideal so I merely plod on.

I absolutely stand by you!
I know how difficult it is, I was physically, financially, emotionally abused by my husband for 30 years. When I finally got him out, via police, I heard omg why on earth did you put up with this for so long, why didn't you leave sooner etc etc

Of course I'm ashamed of myself, though I did NOTHING wrong. I'm angry. WITH MYSELF! For having tolerated so much.
It is what it is. Onwards and upwards. 😘😘😘

You can get Legal Aid sometimes, if there is DV involved.

Well done!! The freedom must be amazing.

Yes, something snapped in me this time. Not ashamed of me, because it's not my fault or my behaviour.
The thing is leaving is just not easy, they make it petrifying and it's hard. I know this is the calm before the storm for me and it will get harder.