Just looking for some support and a handhold please
Been with soon to be ex for about 12 years, 2 DC, we own our house equally with a mortgage.
I have been unhappy for so long, he just isn't kind to me, or fair, and has always been very tight with money- to the point I had to save up to go on maternity leave with both children and fully fund my share of bills etc whilst on SMP.
I have tried to end this relationship time after time but he has made it impossible - i was heavily pregnant / I had a small baby and nowhere to go and no money / he told me no one would have me / my family didn't care etc etc
I am and always have been in a relatively good job but my new job has given me financial security and independence
2 weeks ago I finally did it - told him it was over and I've stuck to it- he was angry and unkind at first, then sad and implying he would hurt himself, now just out with friends most days and ignoring me.
Initially he said I couldn't move out as it wasn't fair on the children to move them out of their home etc etc
He ha finally agreed to me moving out.
I have found a holiday rental from Jan, can pay the deposit and first month upfront and can afford it moving forward.
He will not leave the house, will not pay maintenance and will not really talk about selling the house (we have about 200k equity)
I am wobbling
This is HARD. I am TIRED. I am WORN down
I need to pay the deposit and just do it. I know if I don't I will be miserable and will be here again and again. I'm also aware that my friends and family probably think I'm ridiculous as a year ago we announced we were separating and then tried again.
I know this is 100000% the right thing but I'm scared.