Does silent treatment get worse over time?

[Dolphinwaves]

Used to be 2 days every couple of months. Now lasts few days/ couple of weeks.

Why on earth are you putting up with this when you don't live together? Just bin him off. Do you like sexist men enen though you are a woman? Let's call it what it is, he's a misogynist and has told you that a woman has no right to an opinion and should be put in her place.
Just block him and move on, there's better out there - nothing is already looking far better.

@Dolphinwaves well done. I’m not saying it’s not heartbreaking - this sort of emotional abuse can often make bonds feel stronger. But there’s someone out there who will actually treat you properly.

It's fortunate you don't live together OP. Tell the daft twat he's dumped and you never want to clap eyes on him again.

Silent treatment is listed as domestic violence. You would be nuts to let him back as currently he's pretty easy to get rid of

No I don't like it. He says it's me picking all the time and we have good times and he does a lot for me so he doesn't understand why I bring things up. I haven't done anything wrong. I told him in last text he can email if he wants to respond but that my number won't be accessible as I was fed up of silent treatment when I express a view different to his (but still reasonable). He said in his last message before ignoring me he loves and misses me and is planning things with me. It's just hard to see clearly and it's good to hear the advice from others as I worry it is me.

Christ, what a knob he is. You're so much better off without him.

Your life will be so much easier without him! This is dreadful behaviour on his part. Don't indulge it, it's really pathetic and worrying. I would end it and block. Such a manipulative and pathetic way to treat someone you love! There's no respect there, love just isn't meant to be so hard. Good luck.

Yes, it does get worse.

Get yourself organised and leave.

A person who is capable of dishing out this sort of treatment has deep-seated anger issues and has chosen to wallow in them rather than deal with them. Don't hang around waiting for him to be healed by your devotion. It's not going to happen. He's enjoying a reward on some level from hurting you.

So he's future faking ('planning things with you'). This is a carrot dangling in front of your nose to get you to keep engaging with him. He really thinks you're a fool, doesn't he?

You are being played.
Stop explaining yourself to him. He's laughing at you.

Do you live together? Own or rent? Whose name is on the rental agreement/ mortgage?

She doesn't live with him. As far as I can see there is nothing stopping her from blocking him on every means of communication amd just getting on with her life, free from the twattishness

We live separately. He recently left his job whilst waiting for a new one to go to as he said his boss didn't like him. When he sorted new job I asked to talk as he's been quite nasty about everyone recently but wanted to wait until his new job sorted and that's what triggered me always bringing things up/ I'm a good partner/ I need help topics. He doesn't like me texting issues but we haven't seen or phoned for about a month now as he had his job and family stuff to sort. He was also annoyed after not seeing or phoning me for a couple of weeks that I couldn't meet on a day he wanted and I said I can't keep my life on hold for him and be free at the drop of a hat.

I do want out. I'm hurting a lot right now but I can't spend my life like this. Should I just email him that it's over for my own sanity? Again no message at all from him for 2 weeks so it might make me look desperate if he's already ended things in his head but I don't want him to think I'm sag here waiting.

Block him on everything. Then plan some fun things to do with your friends.

Just dump him, there's no need whatsoever to date such a shit bloke. Never ever allow a man to treat you like this again.
Text or email the boyfriend 'i am no longer attracted to you. The relationship is over. All the best'
Do not indulge him in arguing or pleading, only complete disinterest.

I’m so relieved to read the last of your updates and see that you don’t live together. That makes things a lot easier.

Ending it is definitely the right thing to do. Plan some lovely fun things with friends and family. And tell them how he’s behaved. That will make it seem more real, and you’ll be less tempted to give him another chance.

I'd send a "it's over" message for two reasons 1. for your own sense of closure, and

1. because this type of guy often suddenly reappears, acting as though nothing happened and pretending you're the crazy one for thinking there was a problem.

BUT don't be tempted to wait for his response, immediately block afterwards.

Oh wow.

You don't know how lucky you are.

No kids.

Not married to him

And dont live with him.

Block him on every channel. And count your lucky stars you are not dependent on him in any way.

If you are feeling generous then text- it's over. But block straight after.

Oh you deserve SO much better than this, OP. Please bin him right now, block him and get on with your life.

To be blunt, he’s a controlling arsehole who’s too immature to have a healthy relationship. You mustn’t let anyone treat you this way again. 💐

I agree with pp above who said send one last final 'it's over' message, just so he can't claim that he "didn't understand you", then block him absolutely everywhere and get on with your life.

Do you know how much suffering he's doing right now? How much introspection? How much talking over what he might have done with friends (and strangers on fora)? Absolutely none. He's just enjoying himself, going out, having fun, living his life. Knowing that he can pick you back up; chastised, weakened, compliant and determined to 'try harder' whenever he wants. So don't let him.

My dad did this as well as lots of other emotionally abusive behaviours.

It never let up. My mum lived in fear of it,walking on eggshells, right up until she died at age 84. He had completely ruined her life, she was unhappy from when she married him at 21 until her death. Don't be my mum.

No need communicate anything really - your silence and unobtainability will be an effective message - and make him wonder for a change, no more than he deserves.

I agree with other posters, one text
"It's over".
He'll know why.
If you dont clarify it, he may come back later and maybe even deny having given you the silent treatment, tell you it was merely your perception he was giving you the silent treatment.

In my last message a couple of weeks ago I did tell him I'm changing my number and to email if he wanted to respond (I did change my number and didn't give him the new one). I didn't see the point of him having my new number to use as a weapon for more silence. I also said he was being so nasty it's all he has as I was so fed up and it all built up. He has a history with me and exes of not accepting its over, he said he and his last ex were on again/ off again and he lies about a lot of things. No relationship beyond a year and he's 50. I'm so worried about my child (not his) because I have shown her this man. I want to be the best mum I can be.

Run. Honestly run. You are worth so much more than this and you have a precious child to think about. Please value yourself and run. Even if the silent treatments ends, it will just turn more into arguments and him putting you down. It doesn't sound like he even likes you. Just wants you to be what he he wants. He will suffocate you. He should remain single really. Imagine having kids with him.

Just be done with this nonsense. As of right now, you’ve broken up with him. Don’t contact him again. If he contacts you, either ignore him or (if you can’t) say ‘it’s over, do not contact me again’ and then ignore him. Do not get drawn into any sort of conversation, explain or justify yourself. You’re done.

You might benefit from reading ‘Why Does Ge Do That?’ by Lundy Bancroft. You can find a PDF of the book online, for free.

Thank God you don't live with him.

Just block his number and move on with your life. He sounds horrible.

Why did you email him? And why are you worried about your child who is not his?