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Original poster

Son smashed my NEW fridge freezer and is out of control!

155 replies

motorwayrain · 10/12/2023 18:49

I am extremely down in the dumps and life is pure hell for me and my two younger kids too.

My oldest (son) 16 is an absolute nightmare right now. He was in trouble with the police during the summer and when he started his GCSE year in September he was expelled for fighting and calling a teacher racist names.

I have started to lose my hair. He's extremely threatening towards me. The other day he got right in my face shouting like full on top of his voice f*g and blinding.

Last night the owner of the local asian takeaway knocked on my door saying I should come to the shop. I have never been this embarrassed in my entire life. He took me to his shop and the food counter window was smashed and he said my son done it (he knows me because I've ordered from him in past).

Then the shop full of men started talking about me in their own language and I certainly didn't need a translator to know what they were saying..

The owner said "You are lucky you know me and if you just pay for the damages I won't call police".

Essentially my son and his mates had gone in took food , didn't pay and started being racist and hurled a chair into this guy's food counter smashing glass and ruining food under.

I confronted my son this afternoon (after he'd been out all night). My American style fridge freezer which I had saved up for and we were all looking forward to for xmas arrived.

As usual he started going red and you can literally see steam coming out of his ear before at the top of his voice starts shouting at me. I try standing my ground but he's a large built lad but I'm absolutely petrified but try not to show it when he squares up. my son and daughter both younger run and hide when he kicks off.

He went into the kitchen and grabbed the fridge freezer and smashed it on the floor by pulling it over !! I went in running and he hit his forehead on my nose causing me to bleed.

I'm in tears as I write this. He stormed out slamming the front door (which is coming off the hinges)

Any advice please, my brother said throw him out and call the police but I want to help keep this family together. My other friend who said he needs help.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 10/12/2023 18:53

Don't bail him out by paying the takeaway for the damage he caused. Let the owner call the police and he can deal with the consequences of his actions.

Gnomegnomegnome · 10/12/2023 18:53

Call the police. You can’t deal with this on your own and he can’t get away with it.

Incognitoergosumlol · 10/12/2023 18:54

You need to call the police - you and your other children are not safe with him about. It sounds like he needs specialist care but police first...

GrazingSheep · 10/12/2023 18:54

You have to call the police.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 10/12/2023 18:54

Call the police. Report the assault and criminal damage to yourself and also report the racism harassment, theft and criminal damage to the takeaway. This is well beyond your capacity to manage and deal with. He needs to be dealt with by police and authorities.

2dogsandabudgie · 10/12/2023 18:55

I agree with pps, you need to call the police. Don't pay for the damage. What if your son and his mates do this again and someone gets seriously injured or killed.

Gettingbysomehow · 10/12/2023 18:55

I'm sorry but the only thing you need to do is call the police. You need to stand up to him right now and this is the only way to do it.
I would do this if my own DS behaved like this.

Sarahconnor1 · 10/12/2023 18:55

Call the police, speaking from experience this will not get better..

Pallisers · 10/12/2023 18:56

Call the police right now. You cannot hold a family together by ignoring this - he is way out of control. I wonder what he substances he is on? When the police get there tell them about the takeaway place too. Would your brother come over and stay with you?

Secondguess · 10/12/2023 18:56

You can't help him. The police can.

Rocksonabeach · 10/12/2023 18:56

Both the owner and you call the police change the locks - inform the police and prevent about radicalisation and get a ring doorbell. Have him charged for assault.

you can only get him the help he needs by pressing charges and getting him out and also showing you don’t let anyone behave like that towards you

TeenagersAngst · 10/12/2023 18:57

It sounds like drugs are involved for the irrational violent behaviour to be that bad. Do you know what he does when he is out?

I agree with everyone else, you must call the police if only to protect your younger children. If this was your husband, it would be a clear case of domestic abuse. The fact it's your son makes no difference.

CyberCritical · 10/12/2023 18:57

You really are at the poin5 when you need to call the police.

He has stolen, caused criminal damage in both the takeaway and your home and he has physically assaulted you.

I can understand that it must feel awful to report your child to the police but you have 2 other children in the house and yourself that you're also responsible for and he is a risk to all of you.

It would be nice to think calling the police will be a nice sharp shock and he'll get better, but it's unlikely. What it will hopefully do is put you in touch with other resources and provide an escalation point for things like CAHMS, social services etc.

Einevinefine · 10/12/2023 18:57

You can't help him. The police can.

This.☝️

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/12/2023 18:57

What everyone else has said. It's a police matter. The restaurant owner was being kind because he knows you but he should have called the police.

This must be terrifying for you.

TicTacNicNak · 10/12/2023 18:57

Yeah sorry OP but I agree with others. This is assault and criminal damage and your son needs help. First you need to report to the police so he learns there are consequences to his actions. It's a hard, but necessary lesson.

newnamechangeforthisone · 10/12/2023 18:58

Call the police!

piscofrisco · 10/12/2023 18:58

Call the police

ionlywantto · 10/12/2023 18:59

What's happening in your house is domestic abuse and the police can refer you for help.

Greekgreens · 10/12/2023 18:59

Call the police to help your family.

LaDamaDeElche · 10/12/2023 18:59

He'll attack you again. Next time it could be much worse. Call the police. You can't handle this on your own. This is a massively out of control situation already.

Travellingraspberry · 10/12/2023 19:00

Call the police. You've a duty to protect your younger children.

Mostlyoblivious · 10/12/2023 19:01

Ask the owner to call the police

ANightingale · 10/12/2023 19:01

No advice but really hoping you can get some help - what a horrible situation to be in Flowers

AmazingBouncingFerret · 10/12/2023 19:02

He head butted you. Call the police.

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