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Original poster

How long had you known your DP/DH before having sex?

165 replies

strawberrysea · 10/12/2023 07:44

Inspired by another thread where a commenter suggested refusing to have sex until marriage in order to filter men who were serious about marriage and relationships.

I'd known DP for about two hours 😳 hadn't conducted myself in that way previously, but we've been together for nearly six years now!

In the past I'd waited months before beginning a sexual relationship with a partner and still got binned in the coming days/weeks and so I'm of the mind that if a man wants a woman just for sex he's usually prepared to wait it out, which is obviously horrible behaviour.

Obligatory 'not a journalist' disclaimer.

OP posts:
QOFE · 10/12/2023 07:45

Nearly 10 years 🤣

theDudesmummy · 10/12/2023 07:46

Longer than you! I would put it at about 4 hours. That was 20 years ago.

fourelementary · 10/12/2023 07:48

A few months but it was the same day that we actually “got together” as previously had just been casual and chatting or messaging and hadn’t met up since our initial meeting. I reckoned it was best to check our physical compatibility as we knew our emotional and intellectual ways were a match but I was concerned our physical attraction might not be-

it was! 🤣

Musiclover234 · 10/12/2023 07:49

We had met online spoke on the phone etc for a while, so the night we met in person. Still together 12,5 years later

delilabell · 10/12/2023 07:50

3 months but had been together 4weeks

mellongoose · 10/12/2023 07:50

Known him for about 10 years! Together for about two months. Still together for another 12 years and counting.

Wisdomisnotwise · 10/12/2023 07:52

Known for 2 months, friendly but not friends, snogged on a night out we both happened to be on, went on 2 dates after and had sex after the second date.
I didn't care if he was serious about marriage. I was 20 and I wanted to have sex with him.

JuliaGoolias · 10/12/2023 07:56

A few months, but we met on OLD and I was very cautious as he was a stranger at first meeting.

NonanteNeuf · 10/12/2023 07:57

A few hours here too Grin

shivawn · 10/12/2023 07:59

Not long at all. We met when we were 20 and worked in different departments in the same supermarket so I kind of knew him to see but not really. Once we actually got chatting and got to know each other it was probably less than a week, can't remember exactly, it was 16 years ago now.

QueSyrahSyrah · 10/12/2023 08:01

48 hours I think. 4 years on we're married with a baby on the way. No regrets!

DuckyShincracker · 10/12/2023 08:01

2 weeks texting then 5 hours into our first date. Still together 9 years later. So very happy.

BarryK3nt · 10/12/2023 08:02

After six months of dating, three months after being officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

Peachtails · 10/12/2023 08:03

A month, together 16 years now!

Daisies12 · 10/12/2023 08:04

Same as you OP - the night we met. Been together 12 years, married for 2

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 10/12/2023 08:04

We worked together for almost 2 years before anything happened between us. We almost had sex on our first night but it was after our second date in reality I think. Been together going on 16 years.

NotPlops · 10/12/2023 08:04

A couple of hours! Together 29 years and married 20

RhubarbCrumbled · 10/12/2023 08:11

About a month before we properly got together. Together 5 years now.

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 10/12/2023 08:12

This was a first for me as well @strawberrysea but it was also a few hours for me (I got a bit drunk at a party, he walked me home, I invited him in after we’d both been flirting, probably quite obviously as autistic people do). He then decided he didn’t want to date me, agonised three days and then decided he did. The most loving and stable relationship I’ve ever been in. Lasted six months so far despite many obstacles :)

Previous relationships have all been friends before so the intimacy has effectively marked the beginning of the relationship proper. I haven’t ever really “dated” properly in the sense of arranging outings to get to know someone and I normally know and like someone platonically before I’d sleep with them. But obviously not with my current partner, who I’ve got to know since getting with and makes me so happy.

Oganesson118 · 10/12/2023 08:16

About a fortnight.

gannett · 10/12/2023 08:28

A few hours, having met at a house party. That wasn't out of character for me at all. The out of character bit was letting him stay for 11 years and counting. Wasn't expecting that!

ThereSnowLimit · 10/12/2023 08:30

Worked together for about 6 months with lots of flirting and dates before it happened. Been together 22 years.

LadyGeorginaSmythe · 10/12/2023 08:35

I think I stayed over on the 3rd date, so maybe 10 days/2 weeks ish.
Together 18 years now.
My prior boyfriend I slept with day we met and we were together a couple of years.
My boyfriend before him was a one night stand then we ended up getting together.

I think if you both want sex you have sex. It shouldn't impact the longevity or seriousness of any relationship that may develop.

Simonjt · 10/12/2023 08:35

Me and my husband had been dating for five months before we had sex. Waiting until marriage was something I had wrestled with for a while, but a lot of people I know who have done that have rushed marriage just so they can have sex, and ended up in unsuitable marriages. I still sometimes think now I know we did get married that I would have preferred to wait until marriage, while at the same time knowing for all we know we wouldn’t have made it to marriage without having sex.

Bicorne · 10/12/2023 08:36

First date. That was in 1992. I always did. It filtered the dreadful in bed/incompatible kinks etc.