My brothers wife smashed a glass in his face last night!

[ROSEgarden]

due to his wife, we havent spoken in almost 3 years, she hates the realitionship we had, so had his hands tied behind his back with bribery(money!) and he made his descision..he took the money, left me!

i hear through my mum their relationship is not a good one and recently he asked my mum what to do..

early this morn, my mum rings, brother is in hospital been transfered from his local one as she threw(dont know how a throw can be THAT accurate?) a glass at his face..hes been in all night, had xrays etc and is now going into surgery at 2pm.
Ive rang him at hosp, after all regardless of what shes done to me hes still my brother and must be quite scared right now..he may lsoe the site in one of his eyes, he has to have invasive surgery to remove the glass..his biggest fear is hospital and eyes(used to wind him up by touching my eyeball as kids)..i asked practical things like were is car(so it didnt get clamped if at hosp) and what his work number was(so i could let them know whats happend), if he needed anything and told him regardless, im here for him if he ever needs me.

he's not a timid fellow so i know there could have been more to all this, but the fact is, hes in hosp and may lose his site because of this crazy, lunatic..but because ive been out of 'the loop' for 3 years i dont know what else i can do..im at work right now but have asked my mum to go buy him some comfy clothes(shorts t-shirt undies etc) for when she goes up when hes out of surgery..but i dont know what i can do?

they have two children who are with her i guess, hes worried if my mum says anything to her shell keep them away, but said thats it with her now so god knows what else has been happening?

by dp is impartial as he knows what my brother put me through and then chose her and disowned me so thinks im mad to be concerned and crazy when i said i would go see him at my mams(hes asked if he can stay with her when he gets out)

Things dont just wash away and im still very hurt but i see this now as the important thing, cant forget but have to move on(proably get kicked down again by him, hes like that)but i just want to do the right thing and let him know if will be ok...dont even know what im asking here, just cant talk to anyone in RL cos they either say im mad, they saw it coming or something..just needed to get it down i think..god families

Thanks Ju.x

He's coming out???????..no idea what sugeon said/did or what they plan/dont plan to do..yesteday he was ordered complete bedrest for 10 days, today hes getting ready to come out????

Hopefully that's good news then Rose! Let us know the details when you have them hon

Oh er! That's gotta be good news, surely? They must have decided the eye can be saved and needs no more attention. I take it he'll be going to mums and getting waited on hand and foot by her! I bet he'll have more resting time there tbh!

Still not home(at mams) still waiting for doctor to give him the medication he needs?, my cousin, her brother and now her dad have been and their dad still their waiting to bring him back to mams.
shes not got anything ready and i dont know why but im getting the impression ive done/said something i shouldnt??..shes a bit 'off' with me?..have doen nothing though so?..i just try and get the practical things sorted(as is brother, he rang a friend of his to ask if she would bring a chinese takeaway over later)like solicitor etc but think mam is crumbling and cant handle that side
She asked me to go into town tomorrow with her while she picks up some easter stuff for my dd and his dd and ds, he's now asked for a coat as he doesnt have one there..but he specified a certain(very expensive) shop, my mum is going to be skint..but i know she wont say no..id have rang her brother and asked for one of his for him if hed asked?..anyway..up to them, just glad hes coming out and hope something good has happend, we stillhavent found out what has been said..

oh and their was a mystery visitor on friday after we left at the already late(past visiting time) of 8.30..who fits description of HER mother?..but nothing was mentioned by him..it was the nurse who i know who said he had another visotor and that she kept checking on them cos she was worried it was his wife..this WOMAN was holding his hand and saying im sorry im sorry????

Why the hell did the ward let her in, if it was already passed visiting hours! FGS!

well it was actually my friend the nurse..she said its past visiting, woman said ill be two minutes and walked past...nurse said ill give you 5..woman said ill take as long as i need!..nurse then said NO ill give you 5 then you're out...she said she kept walking in and out of his room incase it was his wife, changing water, checking sheets etc..will have to ask more when i see her tomorrow...the police havent told HER to stay away, but brother ahs said he doesnt want her there, if hed gave the word who ever this woman was, shed have been escorted out,!

Well, I guess we can't judge the mother. She may well be completely mortified that her dd could do such a thing and from her point of view, she may be thinking she'll never see her grandchildren again. We'll reserve judgement until we know the facts and THEN blow her out of the water if necessary!

He's home!(at mams) but has now rang a friend and asked he to take him to pick up a chinese takeaway!(think he wants an unbiased chat maybe?)

mum just said he told her, HER mothers friends came to see him last night..their mormons and are trying to convert him..they said that SHE had told everyone He had MADE her drink more and more till she grew agressive and goaded her into smaashing him in th face with a glass!!!..some f*cking people!..those poor kids

still no idea whats happening but my other cousin is riniging him(bloky talk) and will ring me back if hes finds anything out..he's a proper woman at heart even if he is 6ft something and the same wide!

Gawd, what a mess! I hope DB can get enough support from all his mates and he doesn't back down from dealing with this once and for all.

i know!..theyre all farking lunatics!..not a sign of remorse from one of them!

Just seen your update in the Staff Room, but I'm posting the reply in here! It's slipped soooo far down my threads I'm on list, I thought this might bring it to the top again. Dunno, will it?

Anyway, glad he's on the mend. How about the eye itself then? Is it saved? Glad to hear he's not letting her get away with it. I take it he'll have a whole list of things she's done and not just this final straw. What'll happen with the kids, I wonder, if she is sent down? (I learnt that term from The Bill!) Will he be able to cope and will your mum step in to help?

Hi Mo, dont know if eye is saved, hes back at haosp tomorrow, so theyl see if its getting better(last time they looked they said it looked worse!) he hasnt been resting..so hes not helping himself!.
he went to see his solicitor last night who looking into things for him, the police have said SHE will 'go daaahhhnn' in bill speak..so we'll have to see

Rose - have just read this thread all the way through. It is all just so awful. Try to keep strong and I wish your brother all the very best and hope you all get some good news soon.

Thinking of you.

XxX

Thanks Pindy that must have taken you a while 8-)

Keeping everything corssed, so much more to do now(for him anyway) dealing with her, the children, the hosue, job etc etc..must fel like a mountain to him, his whoel worlds been turned upseode down in that split second..hopefully what goes around comes around?

Its going to be tough for him, obviously, but lets hope this is the turning point in his life and this is the start of good things to come.

Hope things go well today.

Any news, chick?

hes just got back from hosp, they cant save his sight, its totslly gone now in that eye, they are just hoping hedoesnt catch infection over coming weeks and hopefully then they can keep his actual eye there and not have to replace it

He spoke to solicitor again, he IS going to prosecute, he is going to let the police do whatever they need to (obv solicitor has talked him through it?), so we'll have to see what happens now
hes still in a lot of pain, hosp said he will be like that for weeks yet and has to go back again next week..just to check up on it i guess?

Oh Rose, I am so so sorry for your brother. I am so glad that he is going to prosecute - she deserves to get the worst they can throw at her. Hopefully they can keep the eye in place - I assume his other eye is still ok?

OMG Rose so sorry for your bro

Heres the Mensaid website...
www.mensaid.com/community/viewforum.php?f=9&sid=490603f2da2813031aa9d860d6a461f8

Also here's Families Need Fathers website...
www.fnf.org.uk/
People there will probably be able to guide your bro through what are going to be very tough times.

thanks Crace, i hope so too, i think (my diagnosis no prob means nothing) the nerve is still intact so his eye hasnt'dropped' ie his eye ball still faces forward, but the lens has been damaged beyond repair meaning his sight has now totally gone..i would care, he's also 40% deaf in one ear and 70% deaf in other as he mixed up his ear medication a few years ago and damaged his ears that bad!!

Elenor, thankyou for those, ill have a proper looka fter work and print out things he will find useful..thakyou very much for sourcing them for me

B*llocks! Not much else you can say really, is there? Stay strong, all of you.

Rose your brother needs to think and act quickly in regards to the arrangements for the children.
Does he want residence, shared residence or/and a contact order. Time is of the essence where childrens matters are concerned.

Your brothers ex sounds very controlling, manipulative as well as dangerously violent. She doesnt sound the type to be reasonable. Your brother needs to get working on what needs to be done. Already the status quo is that the children are resident with the mother and that dad has abandoned the former matrimonial home. Already the ex is in control.

Surely in this case if mum is prosecuted the abandonment issues don't apply? She's a nutcase!