My brothers wife smashed a glass in his face last night!

[ROSEgarden]

due to his wife, we havent spoken in almost 3 years, she hates the realitionship we had, so had his hands tied behind his back with bribery(money!) and he made his descision..he took the money, left me!

i hear through my mum their relationship is not a good one and recently he asked my mum what to do..

early this morn, my mum rings, brother is in hospital been transfered from his local one as she threw(dont know how a throw can be THAT accurate?) a glass at his face..hes been in all night, had xrays etc and is now going into surgery at 2pm.
Ive rang him at hosp, after all regardless of what shes done to me hes still my brother and must be quite scared right now..he may lsoe the site in one of his eyes, he has to have invasive surgery to remove the glass..his biggest fear is hospital and eyes(used to wind him up by touching my eyeball as kids)..i asked practical things like were is car(so it didnt get clamped if at hosp) and what his work number was(so i could let them know whats happend), if he needed anything and told him regardless, im here for him if he ever needs me.

he's not a timid fellow so i know there could have been more to all this, but the fact is, hes in hosp and may lose his site because of this crazy, lunatic..but because ive been out of 'the loop' for 3 years i dont know what else i can do..im at work right now but have asked my mum to go buy him some comfy clothes(shorts t-shirt undies etc) for when she goes up when hes out of surgery..but i dont know what i can do?

they have two children who are with her i guess, hes worried if my mum says anything to her shell keep them away, but said thats it with her now so god knows what else has been happening?

by dp is impartial as he knows what my brother put me through and then chose her and disowned me so thinks im mad to be concerned and crazy when i said i would go see him at my mams(hes asked if he can stay with her when he gets out)

Things dont just wash away and im still very hurt but i see this now as the important thing, cant forget but have to move on(proably get kicked down again by him, hes like that)but i just want to do the right thing and let him know if will be ok...dont even know what im asking here, just cant talk to anyone in RL cos they either say im mad, they saw it coming or something..just needed to get it down i think..god families

Aw Rose

Glad you went to visit rose and that she is being looked into. Your brother is in good hands and I'm sure he will pull through this. {hugs}

Morning love. Just catching up. That's handy, knowing a nurse on the ward. Now you know he's in safe hands and probably a little bit of preferential treatment too!

Glad the visit went well and I'm praying too, that the eye can be saved. Give DP 100% today and let him know how much you appreciate his understanding and patience. Of course he'll be cagey about the whole thing, his job in life is to protect you from hurt, so he's struggling a bit!

Have a nice day.

thanks mo you just answered my question, dp stil doesnt want me to take dd(although ahsnt said no, but i want to show him a bit of respect towards his wishes)..hes said he wont go into howw much im forgetting about blah blah and i said i only expected a little bit of support, he said hed have supported me had i said i wouldnt go and see him..as this is what he did with his mother..i said his choice, hes not me, nor is brother, i can put things aside but not forget and at moment brother is seriously ill and i will be there..i told him i am not discussing it further with him if he wont support me on it and i walked away..5 mins later he came down and asked if id like a hour to myself..when i said what for(rare honour!) HE SAID I DONT KNOW, DO YOU NEED TO DO ANYTHING? COULD HAVE A LOOK AT THE KITCHEN SEE HOW YOU WANT THE NEW ONE TO LOOK ETC??????????..oops sorry didnt know id hit caps...so am sad he wont back me up, although seeing your post Mo, seems he has me at heart ?

brother slept well last night, he'sin pain still though, waiting to hear from surgon

sorry dont know what im doing..surgeon will be looking at him monday, he actually has a friend with a false eye and none of us knew this(we all know they guy), so hes going in today to see him and hopefully put brother at ease.

i could really do with a bit more back up at home though, i know my brothers not an angel and my emotional scars wont heal, nor will my memories disapear, but i can leave it for now, i wish dp could too

Your dp is exactly the same as most dp's. Men have a funny way of showing how much they care. The fact that he offered to do kitchen stuff to help you is good! He's just being a clumsy man. If he really didn't care, he'd have said, 'well, f*ck off to your sodding brother and don't come crying to me, when it all goes tits up again!' But he didn't say any of those things. He's cross with him because betrayed/upset/whatever you. DP is being the lion on the hill, looking over and protecting his pride and that's you!

You've got plenty of people on here to really talk it though with, if DP doesn't want to discuss it. I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of why he is so pissed with him, but I know if my brother upset me badly, my dh would turn on him instantly and it would be an awful long way back. Men don't forgive or forget as easily as us.

Keep talking here, we'll listen.

thankyou Mo..am waiting for my mum to get back from hosp to see how he hwas today..i went into boots as someone recomended arnica tablets..found them...asked pharmacist about them and she had no idea..there were two doses 6c and 30c..although she said there would be do problem taking them with his medication she said there was no point buying them as i didnt know what dose i needed nad she couldnt advise??..so ive got none!..but i can call abck and get some tomorrow if anyone can advise on which i should get??

thankyou everyone

I was advised that 30c post op is the right one. I expect that the 6c dose is for ordinary falling-over kind of bruises.

If you get the 30c dose, the docs in the hospital will tell you what's right. I expect that under the circs it probably is.

You could phone the hospital and ask a nurse?

thankyou bladeblah, wish id just bought it now as i was going to go for 30c..ill buy some tomorrow and take it up, id do a dance round the street in my underwear if i thought it would help him

Hi Rose - sorry I should have told you there were 2 types hang on I'll find a link as I can never remember!!

Can't find a good link but an old Mn thread( of course) seemed to suggest 30c is the stronger.

Won't hurt anyway -at worst it'll do nothing!!

Hopefully someone else more knowledgeable than me will come along!!

Glad you've had a chat with him & fingers crossed for the next few days.

Thanks BB am off to buy the 30c today, but unfortunatly i am full of cold and have very sore throat so im not going to be able to go to see him incase i pass on something to him..ill get his arnica and send up with mum..His children are being taken to see him today(by her brother0 so that should cheer him up poor soul, he says the hardest thing is worrying about what will happen now with his kids and were hell live his job money etc

bought the arnica, just hope he takes it now, put it with a little note and my mum will give him them..told her to MAKE him take them!..his children are going up today

Just passing through!

Hey Mo

Hi all, brother is seeing surgeon and another man between 10 and 11 this morning to let him know what they are doing?..brother was told yesterday after he changed wards and was made to carry ALL his own stuff right across the hospital( agood 1/2 hour walk for someone not ill) that he SHOULD have been having TOTAl bedrest for the last 4 days and for the following week..his eye and the surgery hasnt been healing as well because they FAILED to tell him this and he has been up and about..hopefully he promised my mum he would start taking the arnica tabs today..seems he needs them more so now

Good to hear the NHS know what they're doing. I do know that these days, they want to get you at least up and into a chair as quicky as possible. DH had major surgery on his stomach a couple of years ago (9 hr op!) and he was sitting in his chair the very next day. Something to do with avoiding chest infections from the anaesthetic and lying down I think.

Fingers crossed for good news from his visitors this morning.

thanks Mo, yes i heard also they like you up and about, but i said clearly in his notes(complete bedrest for 10 days) and every single person by passed it

just found a shiny penny on way home from school, i have never been more superstitious in my life as i am now, been sat rubbing it all morning

Thinking of you and your family, rose
Rub that penny girl

hes not been taken down yet as hes just replied to my text..cnt type properly as holding penny like lefe depends onit

rose hope things go well today especially for your brother

Thankyou Penelope..still not heard anything, but they have to go down for him first(they said between 10 and 11) and then he'll be in being looked at..god am so worried for him

Thinking of you all x

Thanks Crace..STILL no word?, dont even know if hes seen them yet?..he must be out of his mind with worry if hes still sat their waiting

rose