My brothers wife smashed a glass in his face last night!

[ROSEgarden]

due to his wife, we havent spoken in almost 3 years, she hates the realitionship we had, so had his hands tied behind his back with bribery(money!) and he made his descision..he took the money, left me!

i hear through my mum their relationship is not a good one and recently he asked my mum what to do..

early this morn, my mum rings, brother is in hospital been transfered from his local one as she threw(dont know how a throw can be THAT accurate?) a glass at his face..hes been in all night, had xrays etc and is now going into surgery at 2pm.
Ive rang him at hosp, after all regardless of what shes done to me hes still my brother and must be quite scared right now..he may lsoe the site in one of his eyes, he has to have invasive surgery to remove the glass..his biggest fear is hospital and eyes(used to wind him up by touching my eyeball as kids)..i asked practical things like were is car(so it didnt get clamped if at hosp) and what his work number was(so i could let them know whats happend), if he needed anything and told him regardless, im here for him if he ever needs me.

he's not a timid fellow so i know there could have been more to all this, but the fact is, hes in hosp and may lose his site because of this crazy, lunatic..but because ive been out of 'the loop' for 3 years i dont know what else i can do..im at work right now but have asked my mum to go buy him some comfy clothes(shorts t-shirt undies etc) for when she goes up when hes out of surgery..but i dont know what i can do?

they have two children who are with her i guess, hes worried if my mum says anything to her shell keep them away, but said thats it with her now so god knows what else has been happening?

by dp is impartial as he knows what my brother put me through and then chose her and disowned me so thinks im mad to be concerned and crazy when i said i would go see him at my mams(hes asked if he can stay with her when he gets out)

Things dont just wash away and im still very hurt but i see this now as the important thing, cant forget but have to move on(proably get kicked down again by him, hes like that)but i just want to do the right thing and let him know if will be ok...dont even know what im asking here, just cant talk to anyone in RL cos they either say im mad, they saw it coming or something..just needed to get it down i think..god families

Glad you are going to see him, this is .

How about taking an ipod or something?

Is there a history of things like this? Have you looked up some support groups for battered men?
I hope he presses charges.

Hope it goes well at the hospital rose.

Thanks for all the advice everyone..have just bought some nice fresh buns and made up some chicken sandwhiches, put in foil so mum can take up to him(shes going for 3pm), unsure what he drink(other than a beer, suppose one or two diff types will be fine, hell at least like one of them as pop will only get warm wont it?
think he still likes tangerines and pears for fruit so will take some of those too.

my mps player has high school musical and amy whinehouse on..hes likes 60's shawaddywaddy etc, so dont think that will go down too well, but will see if i can dig out my old cd player as i actually have one of his shawaddy waddy c'ds and acouple of 60's 70's ones...hes his own man so i cant tell him NOT to speak to the brother, im sure hes fully aware of the driving force behind it

Could you make a flask of drink up and put ice cubes in it to keep cool?

ooh good idea, he DOES like his drinks cold, ive got a flask, hopefully it doesnt smell of soup..ill do that nab, thankyou

Just give it a wash out with boiled water and let it air dry - should be fine.

Maybe take some straws in case

rosegarden ,when my son was attacked by glass his head swelled like a balloon,but it did go down and it didnt take too long ,hoping you find your brother a bit better today.

will do nab, you're very practical arnt you .x
Mummylin, i so hope that is the case and that the reduction in swelling helps his eyesight, its just not sinking in for me, so god kows what hes feeling..hoping he's not too scared..wish i knew if they were operating again

My husband's uncle lost the sight in an eye when he was in a bad coach crash. I think he is doing okay though.

What about some music to listen to on head phones? Had thought about magazines but it might be too much for him to try and read so soon after an eye op - whether he can use both eyes or not.

i do understand the fear and the terrible upset that things like this do within the family.I was distraught when my ds was attacked and cried for days.but i consoled myself that ds could of died it was near to his jugular.It is great to see that you have put to the back of your mind the bad stuff and all you are concerned about for now is your brother.I really wish him the best possible outcome and truly believe that the person who did it should be charged.

cant find my portable cd player

did your dh's uncle manage ok when it happend or has it been a real struggle for him?
glad he is doing well now

Keeping everything crossed for you hun xxx Still can't believe what has happened and how dare they call and pretend to be you/his brother etc Was going to suggest some kind of password for when you call but someone else has already suggested that I will be back later to see the update. In the meantime, more {{{hugs}}}

LT xx

Could you phone the general enquiries at the hospital and ask what facilities they have at the bedside? You might find that he has radio available. He might need a top up style card, that you can buy in the hospital and headphones too.

Just a small thing, and obviously only you know best, but is it wise to take DD? He's not going to look pretty and it might upset her. Apart from that, since your relationship is tense, it might not be the best setting for her to be re-introduced to her uncle. Not judging, obviously, just doing some thinking for you!

TBH I don't know how he has coped but I would guess okay as his wife has been very ill and that has probably been a bigger hurdle tbh.

ROSE have only just seen this thread I hope your db comes out of this with you and your mum in his corner. It must be upsetting for all of you {hugs} hope they can help his eye.

brave man nab!

Mo, dp has just said the same, he didnt mind me taking her to my mums if he was there, but hes still in hospital so dp has said no, which i can understand, i just didnt want dp thinking i was dropping everything for him.

worse news now tho im afraid, he has been told he might lose his eye altogether, they are keeping him in at least over the weekend, putting drops in etc, but have told himhe may have to lsoe ti totally have something put in its place..you can imagine, he ahsnt took it well..dont know anything else, am going to see him as soon as i finish work which will be about 6.30..thanks for keeping me going girls

also a girl he used to work with has just been to mym mams and said she knew as hed text her and hed asked her to pray for his eye

Oh god Rose! How awful! (Brace yourself - lots of questions!)

Is it just you and your mum dealing with this? Has there been any development with her? Have the police spoken to DB again? and finally, is your DH being supportive?

Oh Rose

Rose

Sorry to hear about your db.

My grandad was blinded in his left eye, just after the war (In his late teens/early twenties). It didn't effect him to much. He was a milkman for about 40 years.

Rose I know it's a little after the event but next time you go in take some arnica capsules. They're homeopathic & are GREAT for reducing swelling & bruising which of course is what causes the pain & slows healing. They can be put under the tongue & dissolve with no water so it doesn't matter what he's eating or drinking. They're tiny like sweetners & Boots do them, ask at the pharmacy.

Awful for you big hugs.

How you doin' chick?

Hi, went up for 6.30ish tonight, didnt leave till 8.30, mum was there as was my cousing and HER brother who im told it a 'good lad' as far as my brother in concerned, he has been hounding him to leave her for months as he has seen what their marrage has been like..not the first time she has lashed out at him!!!
The brother is bringing my brothers children up to see him tomorrow..however SHE has told the kids their dad is@away working'!!!!!!!!..so he is going to tell them what she has done!..harsh, but we grew up with violence and secrets, he wont go down that road.

the police HAVE been to see her, the actually checked on the children as well on the night it happend and SS have been as well!..the only sticking point he's got is that he grew up without a father(my father isnt his father, although not such a bad deal considering my father was a peadophile!), so he said he doesnt want his to grow up without one..we all told him that he still IS one, just lving elsewere..he said he could nnever go back as he'd be worried what she would do to him in his sleep, he thinks she would stick a knife in him..this has been going on for months, hes tried to leave but shes talked him round/made him stay(bribery with the kdis id think!)..so i think he now wants to press charges, he told her brother(when asked who should bring the children) "anyone..but we know who SHOULDNT even try"!..he wont answer her calls or let her get through(although tbh wasnt fort nox when i went in tonight!

Tonight at school when a friend asked how he was..her friend chipped in and said sorry to be ruse but is this your brotherr? is he called x?, did he come in with glass wound?..i said yes..turns out shes his nurse(nights!)..she is lovely and although couldnt tell me anything, i could tell her his concerns and when we were leaving tonight she was there and gave me a big hug...i told her what he was worried about after talking to him tonight and said i know she cant discuss this with me, but could she look into it and speak to ihm and she said ofcourse..lovely lovely girl..had argument with aunty on way out tho after i mentioned my concern about the children, she said, she DIDNT THINK she would hurt them, i said why take the risk after what shes done, aunty said dont rock the boat, so i said well if someone had had the balls to rock the boat for my mum when i was young, we wouldnt have been knocked senseless and sexually abused would we!..shut her up..stupid woman, i wasnt saying I would contact them, police have already done so, and brother has spoken to them too..i was just voicing my concern same as i did to brother who said it was in hand!

Looks awful, theyre putting drops in every hour and others every 4 hours then monday his surgeon is going to look at it again..they said if it starts to look like its becoming infected, it will damage his good eye and it will have to be removed, so keeping close watch on it.
they took dressing off when putting drops in..it looks like a black pair of huge lips, hes spilled water twice today trying to pour it out and is very disorientated..hes petrified about another op has canulaers in both hands incase he needs more morfine and stitches to the same side of face..while i was asking him about it i asked what she did after shed done it.....SHE walked out!...she said shed had ebough and went to walk out of the house leaving the children and my brother with bits of eye hanging out!!!...he then descrobed what happend at hosp, what it was like etc(very gory) and i blurted out "if iever see her ill f*cking kill her"(didnt know where it came from!) and her brother said "dont blame you"!
So am very tired now, think im getting abd cold as i cant breath so am of to bed with some vics..not going up tomorrow but may go sunday as all his fareweather friends will lose interest and stop plus the carrier bag of choc and crisps may have dimished by then..so will need to restock for him!£17 in the hospital shop!!!!..not botherd really..nice bit of comfort food will do him world of good...
Thankyou all so much for being here for me, dp still thinks im soft, but i dont care..like ive said i cant forget, but i can put it aside and deal with the matter in hand..just got to be careful i dont alienate dp as hes only cagey for me as he knows what happend, bless him..he liked my brother he didnt like the fact he dropped me, but the children were her bargaining tool..cant do much about that can you!..so at least i can vent and cry here until it all settles down..so a million thankyous .xxx

i am so glad that you have finally been to visit and it looks as though the visit went well.It seems that if your brother is worried about what she will do next he will be safer elsewhere.I hope he is in not too much discomfort ,although i imagine the mental images for him are just as bad.I hope he will feel a bit better tomorrow