My brothers wife smashed a glass in his face last night!

[ROSEgarden]

due to his wife, we havent spoken in almost 3 years, she hates the realitionship we had, so had his hands tied behind his back with bribery(money!) and he made his descision..he took the money, left me!

i hear through my mum their relationship is not a good one and recently he asked my mum what to do..

early this morn, my mum rings, brother is in hospital been transfered from his local one as she threw(dont know how a throw can be THAT accurate?) a glass at his face..hes been in all night, had xrays etc and is now going into surgery at 2pm.
Ive rang him at hosp, after all regardless of what shes done to me hes still my brother and must be quite scared right now..he may lsoe the site in one of his eyes, he has to have invasive surgery to remove the glass..his biggest fear is hospital and eyes(used to wind him up by touching my eyeball as kids)..i asked practical things like were is car(so it didnt get clamped if at hosp) and what his work number was(so i could let them know whats happend), if he needed anything and told him regardless, im here for him if he ever needs me.

he's not a timid fellow so i know there could have been more to all this, but the fact is, hes in hosp and may lose his site because of this crazy, lunatic..but because ive been out of 'the loop' for 3 years i dont know what else i can do..im at work right now but have asked my mum to go buy him some comfy clothes(shorts t-shirt undies etc) for when she goes up when hes out of surgery..but i dont know what i can do?

they have two children who are with her i guess, hes worried if my mum says anything to her shell keep them away, but said thats it with her now so god knows what else has been happening?

by dp is impartial as he knows what my brother put me through and then chose her and disowned me so thinks im mad to be concerned and crazy when i said i would go see him at my mams(hes asked if he can stay with her when he gets out)

Things dont just wash away and im still very hurt but i see this now as the important thing, cant forget but have to move on(proably get kicked down again by him, hes like that)but i just want to do the right thing and let him know if will be ok...dont even know what im asking here, just cant talk to anyone in RL cos they either say im mad, they saw it coming or something..just needed to get it down i think..god families

am very close to hosp but cant get there tomorrow, and am very close to mams(i walk there lots through week with mindees as its rioght opposite park.

meant to say my mum seems to think hell be out tomorrow..i dont think so myself?

Well, given that its his eye and nothing internal, I suppose its feasable.

hi rose. Sorry about your brother. Sorry this is hurting you so much. Thinking of you

I hope you brother is ok, although it would seem from what you say, he chose money over family, shut you out of his life and now is not having a good time of it wants you to go running.
He has made his bed he must lie in it.

yes, vera, people deserve to be abused by their spouse if they've made poor decisions in the past.

Vera!!!

ROSEgarden - does your brother know why his wife did it?

Vera - piss off.

Rose, I am awfully sorry to hear of this I think it is excellent that he had the courage to get the police involved.

Maybe in time, when the shock and stress has worn off a bit, he could get in touch with mankind or something similar...

I do hope he makes a good recovery. Thinking of you x

What a terribly sad story Rose. I really hope that he regains his sight, and that he also has his eyes metaphorically opened by this incident.

Vera?

Your poor brother.
I was so relieved to read that the police have taken photos and that he has said it was her. This is very good.
I really hope to god that he sees it through and the police can charge her.
He (and you) must be prepared. I know a little about controlling people because my mother is one. They can stoop very low, but definitely in this case, she doesnt have a leg to stand on. Im quite sure shell threaten him with losing the kids if he says anything. Make it quite clear to him that there is no chance of that if he goes through with it. <span class="italic">NOthing</span> this woman says will be taken seriously by the police. She honestly doesnt have a leg to stand on.

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we get out. I really hope your brother can turn this frightening and terrible experience around and use it to get out of her clutches. He is being abused and it sound like she is not remorsefull at all. She has already stooped low by getting her brother to call him, knowing that your brother gets along with him.She doesn`t sound like a person with regrets- this is a person trying to dig themselves out of a hole

Rose, please ignore those rude and unsupportive threads. Wishing your brother a speedy and full recovery.

HP

Sending all my best wishes to you and your brother, I hope he recovers OK and there is no long term damage.

It's so very easy to fall out with grown up siblings its frightening, certainly over much smaller things than you have described. Yet despite the problems between you and your brother in the past you have been full of love and consideration for brother as evidenced by your posts here and that's a massive credit to you. Please ignore the two people making unpleasant comments.

Once again hoping he recovers OK.

rose - hope you managed some sleep last night and that you get some better news today. thinking of you lots, em from the cm staff room xox

How is your brother this morning?

My brother has done the same 'ish thing - marrying some ghastly woman. I hope your brother gets better soon and I hope he doesn't get beaten up again.

My brother and his wife and her children fight together. The whole thing sounds unbelievable and it's also bloody dangerous .

You're being very supportive, all credit to you! Make absolutely sure you make plenty of time for yourself and your family too.

I've spoken to my brother about his relationship because it is such a cause for concern, and like with your brother, the police have been involved.

I expect our circumstances are different, but I phoned the NACAP helpline, which is for people who have been touched by abuse. Their website may be relevant.

I hope I'm not being interfering and I hope you find a path through without getting yourself hurt.

Rose how are things today ?

We're here, when you need us. x

thanks guys, it really meansa lot...my dp thinks im being soft and i forget easilly, but i dont, i still hurt, but thats not the issue right now, its getting through this mess and him knowinghes not alone and i and my mum and the rest of our family are there for him(had so many phone calls last night and this morning, even from aunties whom he's also fell out with to ask about him and offer help)thanks BlaDeBla for that info i will look into it when more time, for him.

mumrang and consultant was going round, told to ring back at 1pm, he slept ok.

ive just rang to try and speak to him as all day with no family or friends near him must be very lonely and scary, but apparently..his BROTHER had already been on the phone and she couldntreally clog the line up again...he doesnt have a brother!!!!, just one sister..me..its HER brother, so hes been worming back in again..i dont like this guy, hes a piece of work too(violent with his ex wives so im told and plays away, doesnt see his kids so on!)and beleive he'll be getting told by her/her mother to work him round...they'd better not

told my mum i hope police contact her employers to let them know given that she works in such an industry, shes shouldnt be allowed!

Anyway, hosp wont say much on phone, im led to believe shes been ringing up saying shes me, so they have to be careful as brother has told them he doesnt want to see/hear from her.

Am hoping against all hope the swelling subsides and his vison comes back, i cant imagine how difficult hes going to find things if he has lost his sight, everyday life, driving , his job(which involves driving)..no one else seems concerned about his children, but im worried if she can snap that easilly, what else will break her?, what ahs she told them?

oh and im biting the bullet and going to see him tonight..nervous as i dont know what it will be like, but im not going to discuss past or even slag her off like i would so love too, just try and show him im still here, im taking dd, but i told dp he doesnt have to come if he doesnt want..i dont think he will, but i donnt hold that against him, we're different people, i can do this, he had something similar recently with his mum and he couldnt go(turned out ok, but she messed us up bad and he couldnt firgive her for that no matter what), so he doesnt really 'get' how i can..anyway, he doesnt really mind dd coming and i think he'll come round if things start to improve(ie he doesnt bugger off back to her!)
want to take something for him, but he's not that hungry, doubt able to read much right now..dont know what ?

Make sure the hospital know he doesn't have a brother and set up some sort of code word for only those you want speaking to him getting through.

My cow of a mother rang the hospital pretending to be me when my Nan was dying of cancer and it annoys me how low some people will go.

Good luck with the visit tonight. It will be fine. He is vunderable and hardly likely to bring up the past. You can talk about that much later if it needs to be done.

Aw Rose you are a very nice person.

Take some fruit, and squash, it can get very hot in hospital.

Do you have an i-pod or portable CD player, something for him to listen to as reading probably off the agenda atm?