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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My brothers wife smashed a glass in his face last night!

261 replies

ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 11:15

due to his wife, we havent spoken in almost 3 years, she hates the realitionship we had, so had his hands tied behind his back with bribery(money!) and he made his descision..he took the money, left me!

i hear through my mum their relationship is not a good one and recently he asked my mum what to do..

early this morn, my mum rings, brother is in hospital been transfered from his local one as she threw(dont know how a throw can be THAT accurate?) a glass at his face..hes been in all night, had xrays etc and is now going into surgery at 2pm.
Ive rang him at hosp, after all regardless of what shes done to me hes still my brother and must be quite scared right now..he may lsoe the site in one of his eyes, he has to have invasive surgery to remove the glass..his biggest fear is hospital and eyes(used to wind him up by touching my eyeball as kids)..i asked practical things like were is car(so it didnt get clamped if at hosp) and what his work number was(so i could let them know whats happend), if he needed anything and told him regardless, im here for him if he ever needs me.

he's not a timid fellow so i know there could have been more to all this, but the fact is, hes in hosp and may lose his site because of this crazy, lunatic..but because ive been out of 'the loop' for 3 years i dont know what else i can do..im at work right now but have asked my mum to go buy him some comfy clothes(shorts t-shirt undies etc) for when she goes up when hes out of surgery..but i dont know what i can do?

they have two children who are with her i guess, hes worried if my mum says anything to her shell keep them away, but said thats it with her now so god knows what else has been happening?

by dp is impartial as he knows what my brother put me through and then chose her and disowned me so thinks im mad to be concerned and crazy when i said i would go see him at my mams(hes asked if he can stay with her when he gets out)

Things dont just wash away and im still very hurt but i see this now as the important thing, cant forget but have to move on(proably get kicked down again by him, hes like that)but i just want to do the right thing and let him know if will be ok...dont even know what im asking here, just cant talk to anyone in RL cos they either say im mad, they saw it coming or something..just needed to get it down i think..god families

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 13/03/2008 17:23

rose I hope it all turns out well for you all

MaureenMLove · 13/03/2008 17:25

Hope everything is OK Rose. Remember you'll have to add on a bit of recovery time too, so you're unlikely to hear anything until he's completely settled back on the ward.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 13/03/2008 17:29

My DD had a serious eye operation almost 3 years ago now and was in there for hours. She came out with 38 stitches and when she went for her last but one check up the doctor couldn't tell which eye it was, he had done such a good job.

I really hope this is the case with your brother.

Where is your SIL now?

Have the police been notified?

MaureenMLove · 13/03/2008 19:42

Hope you're OK, chick.

bohemianbint · 13/03/2008 19:48

What an awful thing to happen.

This has been featured on GMTV all this week:

www.mankind.org.uk/

Hope he's ok.

winniethewino · 13/03/2008 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 19:57

he was in for almost 4 hours, they dont know if they can save his eye, it doesnt look good..there was no glass in it so it seems she has slashed his eye ball and it has been pushed farther back into its socket(sad), he is very handsome and now worried he will look disfigured(a new worry on top of losing his sight)
He may have to go in for another op tomorrow once surgeon has seen him..the surgeon cancelled two schedualed ops(sorry for them) to deal with him and an old friend of his was porter taking him down so he managed to put him at ease a little bit.

She rang about 4 times today, he would only speak to her once, she said she was sorry, he told her she should be and put phone down..the plus point at the moment is that he HAS told police it was her, what she did and they took photos of him, so hopefully the bitch will be made to pay..would you believe shes a health visitor and also works in care homes!!!!

He told my mam theyd been arguing and he had laid on sofa, she came over to him, threw the glass down directly onto his face and walked away...she deserves to die a horrible death, and someone capable of doing something like that to their husband SHOULD NOT be allowed to keep custody of their children(they were in bed when it happend, i would guess they were woken as brother called ambulance as well)
She even got her own brother(my brother gets on well with him) to ring and try and talk him round, but he was still coming round from op and very tired..he hasnt eaten, onlt drinking sips and when bandages fell of for redressing my mum said it was awful, a real mess, totally black and blue
he told her id rang and said he was surprised and my mum asked why? she said that id never fallen out with him, it was him who pushed me away, she told him that my dd had told me this morn she was going to make a card for him at school if she did choosing time and that she wanted to buy him some flowers, she said my dd knows who he is and who his kids are

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 13/03/2008 20:09

i hope you will get better news tomorrow.

Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:10

sorry hit send..
he just looked surprised(in a drugged up way) and said he never knew that!..just shows the kind of thing shes been saying doesnt it

he cant have visitors till3pm tomorrow(stupid parking spaces rule at hosp), but i dont think id be any use just now, he said he IS going home to my mums, so i may pop over there for her and set up her sofa bed etc so he can just crash out.

my mum said shell ring the bitch and get her to bring some clothes and stuff AND the kids and drop them off for couple of hours sat, my mum said shed have the door shut in her face..ive told her to be to the point when she rings ie"its xx, can you get together x,y and z and bring them at x time sat, with the kids and leave them for x time so brother can see them"..i said not to engage in convo, slanging match anything, shes not worth it and dont want my mam getting upset ither..
soo..not good really, keep crying all day cos im not supposed to get emotional over him anymore after whats happend, but everything(our friendship in the past- B.C(beofre cow!)stops me from feeling mad and im just so sad for him and want to give hikm a great big cuddle and tell him it will be ok, ive always been to 'older sibling' despite him actually being 9 years my senior and i just need him to know i love him and ill be there for him no matter what..getting upset now, talk later..thankyoua ll so much today, had no one else to talk to so has really helped.x

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 20:10

oh, rose. how awful for him.

i hope he has some improvement over the night.

yes, after 4 hours under general anaesthesia he'll be very tired and his organs, like his stomach, will still be waking up, so he probably won't be very hungry.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 13/03/2008 20:12

Rose we are here when you need to talk.

Take care

mummylin2495 · 13/03/2008 20:14

rose im sure when you are able to give him that big hug ,he will know you love him and that in itself will help him a such a lot.

Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:14

i dont mean to sound selfish or self centrerd but its like a nightmare a bad dream, something that happend on the tv or something..i cant really belive the damage she has doen to him, physically emotionally and mentally..i am so glad he told the police though!..i didnt think he would and even when ringing the guy who does his sons karate class, he told him too..by bloody big brave brother

OP posts:
Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:16

im sobbing now writing this, so i know when i see him ill be worse..thing is, i dont know what she HAS been saying to him about me, she really is evil, so he might still be wary of me wondering if i did do/say what shes beens aying?

OP posts:
mummylin2495 · 13/03/2008 20:17

i expect he will be so pleased to see you that a lot of what has gone before will become irrelevant.I hope so anyway.

TotalChaos · 13/03/2008 20:22

given the circumstances I really doubt he would have energy, even if he had the inclination to be anything other than welcoming to you. Am glad he has reported it to the police. Best wishes for his recovery.

Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:23

he said to my mum that he guessed this has put my mum off her now..my mum replied i was neevr on her, you know ive never liked her, this just confirms it!..none of the family DO like her(even though they all did fake smiles at weding for brotehr benefit) shes a money grabbing, evil, nasty, manipulative , DANGEROUS! bitch and i hope to god he has finally seen that now.

it must be so horrible to have your whole world turned upside down like this, i darent imagine how he muct be feeling inside as well as on the outside

OP posts:
Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:24

i sincerily hope they charge her and let her company(s) know what she has done!

OP posts:
Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:25

how can someone walk over to another human being who is totally oblivious to what you are preparing to do and smash a glass directly into a persons face then calmly walk away into another room?

OP posts:
Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:28

i always knew we'd be at least friends again, but i never thought something like this would happen in order for that to be true, i just one day hed stand up for himself and put his foor down..wonder if i should ring hosp and see how he is now?, i dont want them to wake him as mam said they keep doing that and he needs his rest.

OP posts:
littlelapin · 13/03/2008 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaureenMLove · 13/03/2008 20:30

Oh Rose! I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said. Agree with Mummylin though, I am sure that anything that's happened before, between you and DB, will be totally forgotten, once he's home at Mums.

Don't forget to look after yourself chick. Try to get some sleep tonight or you'll be no good to anyone tomorrow. Have you got much work tomorrow?

Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:33

he's snoring ..the ahndover nurse hasnt been told of any thigns to look out for and he seems comfortable..so thats good at least hes resting..will pray my head of tonight that some kind of miracle can happen and he wake up, the bruising goes down and he gets sight back..fingers crossed

OP posts:
Original poster
ROSEgarden · 13/03/2008 20:34

hey mo, yeah got three under 3 for most of day plus 3 under 8 and my 10 yr old mindee too!..still at least ill be busy! i start at 6.30 till 5.30, i usually love fridays too, but cant wait for this one to be over

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 13/03/2008 20:36

Good to keep busy. You'll only spend the day pacing. Do you live close enough to visit easily?