Where are the middle class, middle aged single men?

[HatsScarvesGloves]

I'm late forties, widowed and thought I'd be single forever. I've got used to it. But, somewhat annoyingly, it turns out I would like one last try at finding love again before I give up altogether. I want someone who keeps fit and is a bit cultured and has a reasonable amount of money to spend on going out. Not because I'm a snob (though I probably am) but because none of my friends like the theatre, the ballet, the arts, etc that much and I really miss having someone to do these things with.

So, where will I meet this mythical creature? Is there such a thing as a high end dating site? Where does he hang out? I've thought of life drawing class and tennis club (both activities i want to try anyway). Any other ideas?

Golf and mamils

@HatsScarvesGloves Yes and politicians have friends who aren't politicians! I love listening to debates, so I really should go to meet a professional debater!!

I work in music but mainly aimed at guys 45 plus to late 60s - hence I've got lots of these type of guys on my FB page and I meet them at gigs etc- probably more in late 50s and early 60s - so maybe a bit old for you OP. I'm married though.

Follow a few FB pages of bands you like, make a few comments , join in banter- you would be suprised at how many friend requests I get!!

Also if you are remotely political, how about joining in at your local Tory/labour/lib dem party - (whichever)

In the divorce courts

Join boards and organisations for what you like. Walking groups are quite good.

Lovearts (run by the Stage Mag), Telegraph dating. My lovely parent (if you have kids). E harmony

over 50s sites - E Saga connections Silver singles our time (you might be a bit young but..)

And also maybe try a posh agency

I think it’s perfectly doable, it’s just a numbers game.

I don’t agree that all 50s successful men want to date 35 year olds. Not to say they wouldn’t want a lovely fling with them, but if you get to that age with your head screwed on you do realise that age gap relationships tend to come with more problems.

Not rtft but they are all at Warhammer.

They are staying married and shagging their PAs. I think you will have to go older- 70s maybe?

My friend is now married to a man she met on Elite Singles. He is lovely but about 12 years older than her - not that it’s an issue, just that I think men want a woman who is significantly younger.

Another friend also married a lovely man from Elite Singles. For reasons I won’t go in to, they’re now divorced but again he was 7/8 years older.

I think Elite works but do look at men who are a bit older than you.

Also many of them are wearing revolting lycra shorts and cycling around the countryside.

Fish where the fish are! Galleries, auctions? Golf clubs (take lessons there). Farmers market (posh locations). Wine tastings?

When I used the Guardian dating website I stated I'd only accept men who were looking for women around their age and who were feminists.

It was a useful to filter out the misogynists looking for women half their age.

It worked in that the messages I received tended to be from nice-seeming blokes, including an academic, a musician and a gardener. All wholesome activities in my view. ;)

Good god, I hope you're joking! I've already been widowed once.

oh and do let all your friends know - old fashioned ways do also work

OP is only in her late 40s.

I think dating someone broke in middle age is probably not a great idea

Try meet-up. While not a dating site, a lot of people in the groups are single. I used to belong to a range of groups. One was a cinema group - we met in the bar every Wed evening for an hour or so before the film started, so it was good chance to chat. I was in my mid 30s, there were a few my age or younger but majority were 40s/50s. Really great mix of people all sharing a love of cinema and meeting new people. I actually met someone at the first film I went to with the group who is now, 10 years later, one of my best friends.

A lot of them meet women at work. I've been to 2 weddings where the men are mid-late 40s meeting your requirements (one divorced, another a widower) who met their wives at work. In my current job, there's a 45 year old divorce dad who's just started seeing a girl at work. I will say all these women are in their 30s but high earning/independent who've never been married before. So I don't think it's their age per se that's attractive, but their lack of relationship baggage. However, my partner's brother also met his gf at work in his mid 40s and she was the same age. It might just depend on whether they want more children.

Running and cycling clubs - there's a lot of cultured middle aged men in mine. I do live in London which may be different to smaller towns. There's plenty of Meetup groups as well for your hobbies where there's a wide range of people. Art galleries or a tennis/squash club would be a good shout too. Bumble and Hinge are the best dating apps as I've been told there's more professional or well read (cultured) women on it. i just can't see middle aged men going through the effort of specialist dating agencies/website when they can find what they want on a mainstream app.

Why am I singing it is raining men meanwhile I'm reading this thread?

Now seriously, OP there must be some, think about your hobbies and see if you can meet someone there, ask around probably a friend of a friend knows someone, OLD may be a choice however I'm very skeptical about it.
Volunteering maybe? Professional online forums?

All the ones I know are tradesmen. Most of them earn well, work hard, and own their own business but don’t have degrees or come from well off families. They also seem to share a decent value system.

OP does your home need any work doing to it?

I've got quite a list here! I'm going to order all your suggestions according to my interests and preferences. I think it will be a walking group and Classic FM dating to start.

Which part of the country? Near the National Parks, walking. South Coast sailing. Golf everywhere. Music, art, keep going out to events.

I heard that the Guardian dating site, Guardian Soul Mates, was really good for meeting likeminded people back in the day. I have a couple of friends who met their DH there. A shame they closed it down.

Why don't you book a holiday for singles, doing something like cycling in France?

This! When I was early 30s and single the only men who seemed to be interested were milf hunters, late 50s, or late 30s men who'd never been in a relationship 🚩and were suddenly panicking

When you find out let me know. My brothers been looking for a nice lady friend for ages. He's a good guy. Although, he seems to find reincarnation of same woman over and over again

Shopping in Waitrose in the evenings.
Sailing?