Husband randomly steals

[Sopora]

I don’t even know where to post this and I feel incredibly stupid right now because I never even realised.
It just started because I complained about some random fucking carpet that was blocking my way in the garage. So apparently he has a habit of “just taking” things when he feels like it, and I never even realised. I don’t know why but I feel utterly ashamed and also shocked that he doesn’t see any issue with it. His friend was at our house when this came out (actually revealed it) and he also thinks it’s hilarious and “just something he’s always done”.
My husband has a very decent salary and this is not a money issue. I know that people seem to do things like stealing slippers and shampoo in hotels but a carpet?? It’s not even the worst, and I am sure I have only heard about the tip of the ice berg.
Clearly this can’t be normal? Is this something others have come across?

I would not be in a relationship with a thief or a liar, so he'd be out.

He needs therapy, to understand why he does it and then he will hopefully be able to stop. Presumably he'll refuse.

I would struggle with this.

No he’s not a loan shark or bailiff or whatever. He has a perfectly normal job and this is not money based. This seems to be a legacy habit

Is your husband the Dude from The Big Lebowski?!

It is money based if the old rug owner owed him money.

ExH did. Note the ex. Nearly bankrupted the family when it turned out not to be just shoplifting and one of DDs earliest memory was of him shoplifting post divorce and having to run from store detectives.

The hills are that way >>>>> start running

Every day on here I realise there is an actual new low to what people will put up with in a relationship.

I’m so confused- he’s just taken someone’s rug from their lounge? That’s really bizarre. I would not be ok with this

Right, so that’s his justification for the rug. But you said he’s done it lots - what are some more examples? Does he have a similar kind of explanation for each one?

I agree with others. The rug doesn’t seem random if the person owed him money. It’s getting his own back. Does he also take things when there are no issues between him and the person/business he steals from?

I reckon this was a scene in The Full Monty too.

Sorry op this sounds awful. I briefly dated a boy in my teens who compulsively shop lifted - he had a poor background but his best friend was wealthy and they did it together. Every time I met them they had more random stuff. They especially liked to steal stuff from shops that wasn't for sale, like display props. It was for the thrill of it.

I understand what you mean about feeling shame about it even though you hadn't done it. Like whenever they stole a bottle of alcohol and shared it with me then told me, and I felt shame I was drinking stolen goods.

Sadly it really happened and really was not a joke.

The shoplifting really was the tip of the iceberg.

Oh I believe you it happened! As I say I dated a shop lifter too! Just that there was a scene just like that in the film. It's a great film if you haven't seen it

Imagine the scenario.

Some guy comes to your house. He's either at the door or already inside. You owe him money.

Guy starts taking your rug.

Your reaction: wtf! Stop!

Guy carries on.

Think about it.

The only way he can walk out with your rug is through violence. Either physical violence, or threatening the people somehow.

Nobody takes a rug in lieu of debts. 🤣
Seriously, you'd take something more saleable.
He's either a numpty or liar or both. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

It’s not about the rug itself, that’s just how I found out about this “habit”.

Why are you drip feeding though? Just be straight with it or don't post.

Because it’s not about this incident, it’s just how I found out. There is a trend and I never even realised. Apparently he stole a damn chicken before and other stuff, but I’m the idiot who never realised a thing.

Again, context is everything...

Was the chicken alive. Did he tell you he bought/ won it? Did you wonder why the fuck a hen was scraping and clucking around the house? Unless you live on a farm, that would explain how you never noticed.

If dead, was it frozen, ready to be cooked, rotisserie? Was it from a supermarket or someone's fridge?

Was there a reason for this theft? Or was he too chicken to say?

People are really struggling these days, running a business , paying bills , raising a family. It's hard
Anyone who steals or condones stealing is scum, and I can't imagine how low your self esteem must be to put up someone so fkn disgusting.
I asked other people in the room with me, every single one agreed.

scum and fucking disgusting are quite horrible words to use for people. Obviously stealing isnt okay but for those few people who have stolen to support their family i can imagine this will only make things worse.

I don't think it is a horrible or unfair thing to say actually
It doesn't matter how hard things are , you don't know other people's circumstances. Maybe they are doing it worse than you . Stealing is never ok , there is never any justification for it

People are really struggling these days, running a business , paying bills , raising a family. It's hard Anyone who steals or condones stealing is scum

What about families who are struggling and have no choice but to steal to feed their children? Morally yes stealing is wrong I’d be damned if I passed judgement on someone making the best of a difficult situation.

That's a different scenario.