Dating Thread 244

[SamW98]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I had my first date yesterday.
I honestly thought I'd be calling it off today as I wasn't feeling the vibe over text at all but today I feel abit more into it. It's just be my luck now though that he doesn't think we match wouldn't it 🙈

How do you not get carried away early on 😬🙈

Well, so far it’s been dreadful. We are a month in and I’ve matched with just one person who wanted to check if i really did my job, to which i answered yes for 25 years. Haven’t heard anything back so i have a fine understanding of the plague.

i knew this would be like this. I did have a lovely time at Swan Lake last week, partly because i bribed someone to go. Pas de trios and the fouettés were graceful.

@Thatsthebottomline I think there's so much perceived choice in dating with an app it's an absolute minefield...so last week I was chatting to a guy who lived near me, similar education level, and a few things in common...he had returned from sailing and asked if I sailed, I jokingly mentioned that I get sea sick... tumbleweed. Jesus, we both live in a major city, not by the sea. Next guy again lots of chat he asks me if I have children ( he has a 14 year old) I have none- tumbleweed. Then you have the guys who tell you that something you think is important isn't so - I don't wish to date a separated man; "but you like me ?" And then the "It's not far " - erm for me 64 miles is far...

@2anddone meant to say this sounded lovely! Happy it’s going well :)

@2anddone sounds good!!

Not much luck for me, no one taking my fancy. One seemed OK as a match but he wrote to me saying 'do you like tall, muscly lawyers'. Honestly, OLD is full of dimwits.

So the guy who I met over the weekend has gone really quiet.
He initially said he wanted to meet again and enjoyed our star and we arranged so next week but I haven't heard from him since yesterday and his texts have defiantly changed tone. Last week it was a bit much and this week it's a bit flat.
Would you guys also be thinking that he's probably not interested/chatting to someone else?
Not sure whether I should just send a chatty message later but at the same time don't want to waste my time if he's not interested!

@mintmagnum3 sounds yet another emotionally unavailable one...hot and cold.will do your head in.

Hmmm yeah I think so too.
He actually hasn't opened my last message which makes me wonder if I've been blocked 😂
Maybe I'm over thinking it!

@mintmagnum3 sorry...I feel your pain if that's any support. Men.

Why do so many men just shoot own goals like this?... especially using what should be their strong points and turning them completely unnecessarily into a negative!

If you last had a message from him only yesterday, I'd give him another day before giving up... it's not looking hopeful but it's not quite hopeless just yet!

Matching with just one person in a month?! Is that because you're very picky, or you haven't had much luck in receiving "likes" back?

@harerunner to be fair the last message I sent wa so my a one liner but last week he was very attentive with his messages... which funnily enough, I didn't like 😂 so you know when the vibe changes and you can just tell?
Hmmm we will see!

I would say that’s a thanks but no thanks from him - sorry

Dumb question, why do you think that’s an own goal ?

The women l’m seeing referred to herself as tall and blonde and she is most definitely both of those things.

@NoDatingFor0ldMen yeah I think you're right.
I just sent a "hi how was your day message" and he's not opened it.
I don't get it, why say about meeting up again etc just to ghost me 🤷🏼‍♀️ oh well!

@mintmagnum3 how annoying! Probably don’t waste your energy but I personally feel they should be called out each and every time they think it’s ok to treat people like that. Cause, I don’t care about what online dating like is like these days etc, it’s cowardly and disrespectful! Sorry, hope you can move on x

@mintmagnum3

Sorry to hear this. I think ghosting after a date is rude and cowardly. It’s not hard to send a quick ‘nice to meet however I don’t think there was a spark’ type text. We’re all grown ups we all know the score with dating.

Don’t give him any more headspace. He wasn’t the right one, next!

Aww thank you both!
To be honest I'm a bit baffled. Like I've said before, he's been so regular with the texts, always making convo, came across really nice and understanding and seemed really enthusiastic after our date.
If we hadn't have met in person id let it go easier but k just think this so really rude. I don't get it. Just very strange.
So do I just assume our next date is cancelled 😂 (obviously I am!!).
I worn text again. He obviously isn't interested and because I'm a nice person I respect that. Shame that can't be said for others ey!

Because he's instantly starting the chat with something sexual. Tall and muscly isn't quite the same as tall and blonde despite both being true. A shame really!

@mintmagnum3 Sorry. I don't really understand the need for him to behave that way. I have gone back to app dating after a long long break, pre COVID. I always would get a sort of "really lovely to meet you, but I don't think we are quite right for each other, just want to wish you the best of luck" . It's very hard not to feel hurt but I hope you can just take a deep breath and remind yourself that you deserve better and he's a bit of a twat.

@mintmagnum3 I've had this myself but I think its just that he probably thought things went OK but didn't see it as anything more yet didn't have the balls to say this. One thing I've learnt is match the effort and he now doesn't seem too bothered about making any effort with you.

When I've had great dates, I've known it and we both have been excited to do it again

I’ve just had a second date with the guy I met last week.

oh my god.

We went out for some food and a drink and he spent most of the time telling me he has been suspended from his job due to 4 allegations of sexual harassment and bullying.

I knew there and then that I obviously didn’t want to see him again. I ended up cutting the date short and went home. I’ve not been on OLD long and I hate it already.

I was also supposed to have a coffee date tomorrow lunchtime with someone promising. He’s gone completely quiet and has ignored my text today asking if it’s still on.

Its utter shit.

@JH20000

Dear God - is this the touchy feely one? Sounds like he’s a gropey sex pest - well done cutting the date short.
How on earth did you react when he told you?

What a creep

Yep it is the touchy feely one. Urgh. Thankfully he wasn’t as touchy feely tonight though!

I just wanted to leave when he told me. I wasn’t really feeling it at all before he said anything but I wanted to have a second date just to see if anything changed.

I should have trusted my gut feeling as I felt that something wasn’t quite right with him.