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Original poster

I'm going off sex because DP is obsessed with it even when I'm ill

207 replies

PandoraRocks · 09/11/2023 21:12

We don't live together but have been in a relationship for a long time. I usually go to his house at weekends and we holiday together.

He has always had a higher sex drive than me but I was pretty keen in the early years together. Admittedly, I'm less interested now post menopause but have no trouble having orgasms. I had problems with painful sex (now sorted) and he wasn't particularly understanding and didn't realise how uncomfortable it was for me.

Cut to the present and he is obsessed with sex to the point it's pushing me away. He's worse now since he started smoking weed again (gave up for a few years), watches porn every day in work and at home and keeps texting me saying what he wants to do. He also has a fetish which he wants to do every time we have sex and I'm beginning to feel more like a performing doll. He has admitted he can't stop thinking about sex all the time because he doesn't get enough apparently!

I had an accident 2 months ago and had a painful bone break. I haven't been able to drive so basically stuck at home or on buses (rural area so transport not great). He stayed with me the first week and has come over once since then but I've been pretty much left to myself. I've managed with internet shopping and a friend's help. I have been over to his place once. Every time I saw him he wanted a blow job, even with my arm in a sling! Now he wants to see me this weekend for 3 days of 'shagging' every day.

Honestly I'm pissed off. I feel neglected and its been a challenging time for me emotionally, financially and physically. I don't want to spend all weekend indoors as I've done that for 2 months! He sulks when he doesn't have sex. I just wish he had some other interests like I do.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 10/11/2023 15:38

PandoraRocks · 10/11/2023 11:39

I just had to ring him regarding work and was asked what time I'd be arriving for shagging! I told him I wasn't and asked why he had only been to see me twice in the last month. Apparently he's too tired and he complained that I had only been to see him once! Asked why he was watching porn everyday at work and he said because he's bored out of his mind - he's often moaning to me about the tedium of his life. I said that normal people aren't watching porn all the time and obsessed with sex and he replied that normal people have a sex life. We had sex 2 weeks ago! But now he's trying g to make me feel guilty for 'rationing' sex. He just hung up.

OK, so now you've pretty much told him how you feel. And he's shot you down on each and every count. Face it, this is who he is and who he will always be. He sees no reason to change because he is right and you are wrong and you need to shape up and meet his 'demands' no matter how you feel, physically or emotionally.

Now that you know all this, what are you going to do? Again, he is not going to change so any decision you make has to be predicated on that fact.

1-You can continue the status quo and have to listen to his insults and put up with his sex pest-y behaviour and have sexual relations you don't want often enough to 'keep him happy'.

2-You can end the relationship BUT keep the business partnership

3-You can end the relationship and have him buy you out of the business.

4-You can end the relationship and buy him out of the business

5-You can end the relationship and walk away from the business

I don't know if 2, 3, or 4 are possibilities, but for me 1 would be out of the question and 5 would be an absolute last resort.

CherryBlossom321 · 10/11/2023 23:46

PandoraRocks · 10/11/2023 11:39

I just had to ring him regarding work and was asked what time I'd be arriving for shagging! I told him I wasn't and asked why he had only been to see me twice in the last month. Apparently he's too tired and he complained that I had only been to see him once! Asked why he was watching porn everyday at work and he said because he's bored out of his mind - he's often moaning to me about the tedium of his life. I said that normal people aren't watching porn all the time and obsessed with sex and he replied that normal people have a sex life. We had sex 2 weeks ago! But now he's trying g to make me feel guilty for 'rationing' sex. He just hung up.

This. Is. Coercion.

He hung up? Good. Take it as a sign from the universe that your mind and body are done with this disgusting man.

Block and move on. But not to another man. Learn to love yourself first, in order that you will never endure such abusive behaviour ever again.

perfectcolourfound · 11/11/2023 08:32

Pinkbonbon · 09/11/2023 22:20

In the way that some men don't see women as human beings, some women often view men similarly. Men are human beings with empathy, decency and morality the same as we are - so if an INDIVIDUAL man, lacks these things - lose him, fast.

Don't infantalise men into a sort of subset of humans that are only capable of thinking with their penis. Its not true and it a monologue of misandry perpetuated in our society that encourages women to put up with bullshit from crap men. And makes some men think they do not need to hold themselves accountable to the same standards of decency, respect, compassion and moral fibre as women do.

Edited

This is so true

MsRosley · 11/11/2023 09:10

Pandora, this isn't about him, it's about you.

How have your standards dropped this low?

How can you value yourself so little to persist with a man like this?

RestartingLife · 11/11/2023 13:18

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 10/11/2023 12:16

Buy him a blow-up doll and mark it as his farewell gift!

Show quote history

This.

MinnieL · 11/11/2023 13:19

How does one even watch porn at work? Talk about porn/sex obsessed my God

JFDIYOLO · 11/11/2023 13:58

There are 4 billion+ of them on the planet.

This one's a dud.

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