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Original poster

I'm going off sex because DP is obsessed with it even when I'm ill

207 replies

PandoraRocks · 09/11/2023 21:12

We don't live together but have been in a relationship for a long time. I usually go to his house at weekends and we holiday together.

He has always had a higher sex drive than me but I was pretty keen in the early years together. Admittedly, I'm less interested now post menopause but have no trouble having orgasms. I had problems with painful sex (now sorted) and he wasn't particularly understanding and didn't realise how uncomfortable it was for me.

Cut to the present and he is obsessed with sex to the point it's pushing me away. He's worse now since he started smoking weed again (gave up for a few years), watches porn every day in work and at home and keeps texting me saying what he wants to do. He also has a fetish which he wants to do every time we have sex and I'm beginning to feel more like a performing doll. He has admitted he can't stop thinking about sex all the time because he doesn't get enough apparently!

I had an accident 2 months ago and had a painful bone break. I haven't been able to drive so basically stuck at home or on buses (rural area so transport not great). He stayed with me the first week and has come over once since then but I've been pretty much left to myself. I've managed with internet shopping and a friend's help. I have been over to his place once. Every time I saw him he wanted a blow job, even with my arm in a sling! Now he wants to see me this weekend for 3 days of 'shagging' every day.

Honestly I'm pissed off. I feel neglected and its been a challenging time for me emotionally, financially and physically. I don't want to spend all weekend indoors as I've done that for 2 months! He sulks when he doesn't have sex. I just wish he had some other interests like I do.

OP posts:
2021x · 09/11/2023 22:20

Red Flag Factory of a human. Bin him, before he bins you.

Pinkbonbon · 09/11/2023 22:20

In the way that some men don't see women as human beings, some women often view men similarly. Men are human beings with empathy, decency and morality the same as we are - so if an INDIVIDUAL man, lacks these things - lose him, fast.

Don't infantalise men into a sort of subset of humans that are only capable of thinking with their penis. Its not true and it a monologue of misandry perpetuated in our society that encourages women to put up with bullshit from crap men. And makes some men think they do not need to hold themselves accountable to the same standards of decency, respect, compassion and moral fibre as women do.

Mischance · 09/11/2023 22:21

I am glad you have your own home. Close the door on this person.

Twillow · 09/11/2023 22:21

Nope.
ANY redeeming features??

youngones1 · 09/11/2023 22:23

You're not sexually compatible, just say that you would like to end it, so you can each find someone more suitable.

Ellie56 · 09/11/2023 22:23

I don't want to spend all weekend indoors as I've done that for 2 months!

Then don't go over to his for 3 days shagging. Go out and meet friends, go walking or do whatever else you want to do.

Then dump him. He sounds revolting and you can do much better.

CherryBlossom321 · 09/11/2023 22:29

OP, I can’t imagine the damage this man will have done to your wellbeing - emotionally, physically, mentally and sexually. Please prioritise your wellbeing and end this “relationship” so that you can start to heal.

DollyLeggs · 09/11/2023 22:30

Get rid and celebrate.

CherryBlossom321 · 09/11/2023 22:30

Also, is it possible that the painful sex was painful because you didn’t really want it?

QueenCamilla · 09/11/2023 22:32

Don't infantalise men into a sort of subset of humans that are only capable of thinking with their penis.

No worries, I won't. They're very capable of doing it themselves.

Mrsgreen100 · 09/11/2023 22:33

Wow … get rid , you deserve better
stop this shit now , it’s a form of abuse

AnnieSnap · 09/11/2023 22:34

Codlingmoths · 09/11/2023 21:18

Really?? Why would anyone want to have sex with this guy? Just text him ‘you make me feel like you want me to be a blow up sex doll who doesn’t have feelings or get ill or have anything else in her life to do. I don’t have words for how unsexy this makes me feel and how little I want to have sex with a man who doesn’t seem to care about me. I think we might not be compatible anymore, I would like to be in a relationship and that’s not what you’re after.’

This 👆 is a good way to go.

Panaa · 09/11/2023 22:35

He'd turn anyone off sex.

I'm going off sex because DP is obsessed with it even when I'm ill

Saying he's obsessed with sex is putting it nicely, the truth is he wants to use your body even when it's going to feel awful for you.

Mirabai · 09/11/2023 22:35

Jesus, why are you in a relationship with him?

SkaterGrrrrl · 09/11/2023 22:37

Run a mile, OP.

LilyThePinksDealer · 09/11/2023 22:38

I worked with a woman who had glandular fever and was really ill but still gave her bf blow jobs and wanked him because "he has needs" .. fucking grim imo

Walkaround · 09/11/2023 22:39

What’s the point of him? Why didn’t you dump him ages ago?

babyproblems · 09/11/2023 22:39

I thought LTB when you said he watches porn at work!! He sounds like he is utterly selfish and has nothing to offer you. What are you getting out of having him in your life honestly. He sounds very uncaring and I can totally see why you are going off sex - ironically it should be all about caring for the other person in a long term relationship but actually what his behaviour shows is that he doesn’t care much for your feelings at all. And we aren’t talking about small things - you’ve had some reasonably big health things and still he is uncaring. I hope you can find more love & support elsewhere op xxx

Blueeyedmale · 09/11/2023 22:40

Another man that's letting porn distort his view of women, weed too not a good combination I would get rid OP

BuddyBuddyBumBum · 09/11/2023 22:41

Every time I saw him he wanted a blow job, even with my arm in a sling! Now he wants to see me this weekend for 3 days of 'shagging' every day

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Pinkbonbon · 09/11/2023 22:42

QueenCamilla · 09/11/2023 22:32

Don't infantalise men into a sort of subset of humans that are only capable of thinking with their penis.

No worries, I won't. They're very capable of doing it themselves.

No, HE is capable of it.

In generalising it to men all being like this, it creates 'boys will be boys' mentality. Leading women to excuse it and stay with cavemen.

caringcarer · 09/11/2023 22:43

Ragwort · 09/11/2023 21:19

Surely no sane woman would put up with this? What exactly do you see in this weed smoking sex pest? Hmm

Where is your self respect?

This. Dump him immediately and find a decent caring man. They do exist.

GodDammitCecil · 09/11/2023 22:44

Why are you even with this drop kick????? Confused

I don’t understand.

How can being single be WORSE than being with this utter loser?

Do you really need a man in your life this much?!? 😵‍💫

I don’t even understand what advice you’re looking for. No-one is going to give you advice on how to stay with this specimen.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 09/11/2023 22:47

TheShellBeach · 09/11/2023 21:20

Good grief.
A weed-smoking, porn-watching sex pest who sulks.

Tell us his good points.

Get rid of this one, OP.

Edited

Spot on

underneaththeash · 09/11/2023 22:53

This is rubbish -