I'm going off sex because DP is obsessed with it even when I'm ill

[PandoraRocks]

We don't live together but have been in a relationship for a long time. I usually go to his house at weekends and we holiday together.

He has always had a higher sex drive than me but I was pretty keen in the early years together. Admittedly, I'm less interested now post menopause but have no trouble having orgasms. I had problems with painful sex (now sorted) and he wasn't particularly understanding and didn't realise how uncomfortable it was for me.

Cut to the present and he is obsessed with sex to the point it's pushing me away. He's worse now since he started smoking weed again (gave up for a few years), watches porn every day in work and at home and keeps texting me saying what he wants to do. He also has a fetish which he wants to do every time we have sex and I'm beginning to feel more like a performing doll. He has admitted he can't stop thinking about sex all the time because he doesn't get enough apparently!

I had an accident 2 months ago and had a painful bone break. I haven't been able to drive so basically stuck at home or on buses (rural area so transport not great). He stayed with me the first week and has come over once since then but I've been pretty much left to myself. I've managed with internet shopping and a friend's help. I have been over to his place once. Every time I saw him he wanted a blow job, even with my arm in a sling! Now he wants to see me this weekend for 3 days of 'shagging' every day.

Honestly I'm pissed off. I feel neglected and its been a challenging time for me emotionally, financially and physically. I don't want to spend all weekend indoors as I've done that for 2 months! He sulks when he doesn't have sex. I just wish he had some other interests like I do.

Thank god I have the total opposite in my hubby. If he doesn't care about how you feel he doesn't love you

This guy is a complete and utterly selfish jerk, I would not waste another minute of my time on him.

I know the first thought when considering leaving him might be 'but I've invested all this time in this relationship, I should keep going'. No sweet, consider it as 'time up, he's had too many chances to show me what I'm worth to him and he's done exactly that, time and time again'. Don't waste any more time on him. Take some 'you time'. The next one who comes along might blow your mind and you'll wonder why you even entertained this selfish waster. You're worth so much more. Speaking from experience 💐💖

@Designingheaven I’ve been in a similar situation when I had cervical cancer (early stages all fine for last 4 years!) my ex would pester me for sex during the lead up to my surgery and after, even though I told him I felt really physically disconnected and when I have sex I was so aware of the cancer that I wasn’t enjoying sex at all (which is rare for me).

I hope you got rid of that wanker.

I had a life-threatening abscess near my nethers, that required a serious surgery. I was in incredible, delirious pain before and after the surgery, and I honestly felt like I'll never run, dance or sit normally again. It was a very traumatic time. But through all of that a thought kept popping in my head : I'm so grateful that I'm single. I could just sleep, change yucky dressings, wear gauze hospital pants, feel sorry for myself as much as I want, be zero fun and generally just recover in peace like a wounded animal.
The fact that in a time of need, I was GRATEFUL not to have a man around, just shows how crap I think they are.
I haven't dated since - it was like a revelation had come to me.

Dear god, woman, put him in the bin! You’ve got a broken bone so he wants a blowjob?! Un-fucking-believable! 🤮

Why on god’s earth do you put yourself through this utter shit?

Give your head a good wobble and tell him to foxtrot Oscar💐

In the bin with him OP.

He doesn’t give a flying feck about you I’m afraid. As soon as you couldn’t make it over for shags, he left you to fend for yourself.

Showed you who he is.
As for the rest 🤮

I’d rather be single forever.
💐

@PandoraRocks
Rather than going off sex ,it should be going off him. You haven't answered the question " what positives are you getting from this relationship? He sounds very juvenile.

Agree. Incredibly off putting traits there OP. Porn addiction, objectification.

I’m sure there are many of us that can relate to that sadly. (Hideous experiences with exes)!

He sounds like a catch.

Nothing turns me off more than someone who is desperate for sex and then act likes a twat and sulks when they don’t get it.

The reason you probably have sex with him less now is because of his attitude around it.

It sounds like he’s not offered to help you or bring you shopping.
He literally just sees you as a hole to put his dick in.

I think it’s time to knock this on the head and find someone who as you say, doesn’t see you as just a sex doll.

The support hes given you whilst youve been ill has shown you who he is. Get rid. Sex pest. Your literally a vessel to spunk into

He is a sex pest and, frankly, sounds quite revolting. Get rid, plenty more fish etc.

This sort of man always wants a blow job because they're too bloody lazy to do anything else. He sounds absolutely disgusting.

Sorry to be blunt, OP, but you may as well be a wank sock. He doesn’t see you as a person or respect you as a partner - his entire focus is on his own gratification and he gives no shits about your feelings one way or the other, and if he’s becoming increasingly porn-addled this won’t be improving any time soon.

In the end these men come to view women as nothing more than meat with holes in, which spells the end for any genuine love, care, affection & mutual satisfaction you might reasonably expect from a long term partnership.

He’s already making you feel sad and shitty so you’ve not much to lose by cutting him loose.

Seriously?

You're still with him, why?

Unless you've got stuff at each others' houses, don't even bother to speak to him again

get him a blow up doll. He won’t notice you’ve left as that’s all he’s interested in.

not you’re well-being. Not looking after you. Not being there for you. Not your sexual needs or care around issues..

he’s only bothered about his cock and his fetish and how you can fulfill his needs.

how is he fulfilling your emotional and relationship needs @PandoraRocks

how does he add to your life.

find an extra hobby. Dump him.

I think I speak on behalf of everyone on this thread when I say bin him OP.

I'm so sorry @PandoraRocks

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Have you heard of the sunk cost fallacy? It's when you keep paying into a worthless investment because you don't want to face the fact that you've lost what you've already put in.

Sorry but this one's broken. He's acting the way he is because he likes it. You're going to have to be strong and end it. On the bright side at least you're not living with him so it's nothing like as bad as it might be.

If you've got any stuff at his that you want make a plan to get it back. If he's got any stuff at yours find a safe way to return it to him - mail or get a friend to take it to him. Then block / delete his numbers and contacts. This guy will drag you to hell if you let him.

Gross. What positives does he bring to the relationship, because from your description it's zero. Get rid of the nasty sex pest.

If he's watching porn at work, he should probably get ready to be sacked. Most employers have a very low tolerance for that!

As for what you're going through, this genuinely sounds awful. You're asking for advice but deep down, what do you want to do? What would make you happiest?

I hope he gets caught. That's revolting.

You know what you need to do OP. This is just all kinds of horrible.

I've known some sex pests in my time and an arm in a sling would have stopped even them.

At least you don't live together so things will be simpler, that's a huge plus and you definitely deserve better. Btw depending on his job and cyber security parameters, safeguarding etc he could actually be breaking the law.

Tell him you are not attracted to him because he is revoltingly unattractive.

Get a better life

Is there anything to him other than sex!?

Please just get rid of him.