Ok, so about a month after original message I decided to send a reply..because I knew a silence could be misinterpreted. And I couldn't leave certain things unsaid.
And, because so may people replied and invested in this, I will show the reply.
Please, no "you shouldn't have replied messages". Not helpful and I'm not looking for validation.
I'm pleased with my response, I felt empowered at the time and a definite sense of closure. So, for anyone who us interested, (and genuinely, thank you for your input) here it is:
I debated whether to answer this. You really don't deserve my time.
But ultimately, I have decided that the worst thing is for you to misinterpret my silence and believe that interaction was a positive move from you.
So here is my response:
First and foremost, I cannot emphasise how little I care for the actual content of your confession.
I am, however, reminded of your staggering selfishness. To dig this one event out of the past and thrust it in my face as an act of self - absolution is astounding. This is not something we discussed at the time, not something I was suspicious of. So to suddenly email me about it is..... bizarre.
You appear to be in an "organisation" that is purposefully directing you to cause harm. Not to me but possibly to others. Who knows what your other out of the blue "confessions" are. But in doing this, you are acting in an entirely self-serving way that is disingenuous and - to a vulnerable person - dangerous. What good is this to the person on the receiving end? Or do you simply not care?
If this is not the intent of the organisation then you are entirely misunderstanding the task. In which case, more fool you.
What strikes me is what a tick-box exercise you have treated this as.
A bizarre, empty non-apology for this one, conveniently neat non-event, and yet no mention of the HUNDREDS of ways you actually acted "out of integrity" during our relationship.
I can only surmise that you are scrabbling around trying to find meaning in your life. In the USA, I assume, from the pretentious grammer (OUT of integrity?) and bizarre navel-gazing mentality. I hope you didnt waste too much money on this "course".
Forty four years of age and you still appear to be searching for meaning and some form of absolution. Actually, scratch that last part...you have granted yourself absolution now, haven't you?
On my side, I have a home, husband, career, friends and two beautiful children. I am content. Your email simply served as a reminder as to the stark contrast between our lives.
And so, at the end of it all, it is a pity that the last communication between us was this. I had held some pleasant memories of our time together. Occasionally remembering something we did or hearing an old familiar song on the radio. Now..this email and its ridiculous intent will be my last memory of you.
Know this: I'm not angry with you. I'm not upset or triggered by your confession. I am simply reminded of what a lucky escape I had.
Do not contact me again.
Then I blocked him.
Done!