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Original poster

Do all men cheat?

300 replies

Sundance03 · 06/11/2023 18:44

I see a lot of posts on MN about DH affairs and cheating. It makes me nervous... I don't think my DH has ever cheated.. at least that I know of. Am I very naive in thinking that there are men that do not cheat out there?

OP posts:
Apossum · 07/11/2023 06:42

No, I don’t believe all men cheat, same as I don’t believe all women cheat. I suspect more men cheat on their partners than women do but, I have to admit, I wonder if part of that is down to opportunity.. often the woman is at home with the babies/children while the man continues his social life as before. I think anyone has the ability to cheat within the ‘right’ circumstances, it’s just whether they would in the moment, and I don’t think everyone would.
I like to think my lovely, loyal husband wouldn’t cheat on me, and I think he’d be one of the safer bets not to, but you can never say never with these things imo.

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 07/11/2023 06:45

I don't think all men cheat, some do but so do some women.
I trust my DH completely, obviously I can't say 100% he's never cheated but I'm fairly confident that he hasn't.
My ex on the other hand didn't know the meaning of faithful

MintJulia · 07/11/2023 06:47

One of the men's mags did a survey in the 90s and about 75% said they had.

Of course that would have been of their readership though. And assuming their readers don't lie and don't boast. And men never do either, do they ! 🙄

Chamenangers · 07/11/2023 06:53

I’m having a mind blowing affair with a married man that nobody would guess would cheat.

He would have also told you that he would never cheat before the opportunity arose.

43ontherocksporfavor · 07/11/2023 06:54

Well aren’t you clever @Chamenangers .

LylaLee · 07/11/2023 06:56

RecycleMePlease · 06/11/2023 19:21

I never thought my ex would cheat. He did. One other ex did too, but 2 others didn't - so 50/50 from my very personal experience.

Of the men I work with, every one of them has cheated - my industry is particularly scummy though.

Which industry?

bluevelvetbox · 07/11/2023 06:57

I'm a 49 year old single women and the amount of married men I have texting me is disgusting. Most of them portray themselves to be happily decent married men. In fact I had one send me a picture of him in the bath last night. And no, I don't encourage it - far from it - I do keep all the messages and pictures in case I ever want to do anything about it.

One is them is in a very senior role who has before sent me dick pics after saying me saying firmly no, I'm not interested. I could actually go to his employer and blow apart his family life/professional life but I just blocked. It's all there as evidence though.

39and · 07/11/2023 06:57

Not all men but most do if the opportunity is presented and they don't think they will get caught. Same goes for women.

Loubelle70 · 07/11/2023 07:00

SplendidUtterly · 07/11/2023 00:21

Yeah, I think it's all down to opportunity and IF they can get away with it or not.

Show quote history

Sadly...i agree

ABriefNameChange · 07/11/2023 07:01

I've name changed for this because it makes me uncomfortable and I post a lot under my usual name.

I have been with my partner for a couple of years but I knew him for a few years previously when he was in a relationship with someone else. We met through a hobby.

He did me a favour one evening related to the hobby (I asked him as he was the only one who could have helped me) and it occurred to me to offer to buy him a drink to say thanks but I didn't because I didn't think he'd want to spend any more time with me than was necessary.

When we first got together, this was mentioned in conversation. He said he wouldn't have accepted anyway because he had a huge crush on me at the time and it would have been inappropriate as he had a partner. I had absolutely no idea.

So, no, I don't believe all men cheat. But I do think that a lot do and more than many women realise given by the number of married men who've tried it on with me over the years!

I've also met other men who I don't believe for a second would cheat. But plenty more I think would if the opportunity arose.

Huntre · 07/11/2023 07:01

20% according to data. Around 13% for women. This is for married men and women though.

1 in 5 chance then based on that. Just have to avoid them!

Loubelle70 · 07/11/2023 07:02

Chamenangers · 07/11/2023 06:53

I’m having a mind blowing affair with a married man that nobody would guess would cheat.

He would have also told you that he would never cheat before the opportunity arose.

Itll be mind-blowing when he blows you out for the next one

Aurasauras · 07/11/2023 07:11

The answer is no. However, a lot of men will cheat if they can. The married hookup sites seem to be thriving. Which makes me wonder if we should adjust our perspective of what is normal in a relationship. I would like to say my DP wouldn’t cheat but I don’t 100% trust that he wouldn’t.

GreyCarpet · 07/11/2023 07:12

Do ALL men cheat? No, but I find the assertion that a lot of married men are not attractive or charismatic enough to find a willing accomplice ludicrous and laughably naive. After all, there's already one person who evidently found them sufficiently attractive and charismatic enough that they married them, and there are 8 billion people on the planet

I always think this when a woman posts with concerns about her husband and a lot of posters are tripping over themselves to mock her because no woman is going to be interested in her sad, balding, slightly overweight middle aged husband...

It always reads to me that they are trying to reassure themselves more than anything.

TrailingFig · 07/11/2023 07:12

I would say yes. Certainly circumstances and opportunity play a big part.

TrailingFig · 07/11/2023 07:17

He would have also told you that he would never cheat before the opportunity arose

That’s what he told you is it?
It must feel great knowing you’re an ‘opportunity’

Original poster
Sundance03 · 07/11/2023 07:30

@Chamenangers that's so sad 😢. Do you not feel terrible? I just couldn't have an affair with a married man knowing the hurt and devastation I would have contributed to the relationship would feel dirty and tainted

OP posts:
Herbiebanannas · 07/11/2023 07:34

You know about 11 of the 15 but claim the other wives don’t know that it goes on for any of the other couples?

Dont talk rubbish

Original poster
Sundance03 · 07/11/2023 07:37

@ABriefNameChange i think it's normal having crushes but it whether you act on them or not. Did he leave his dw for you? Plus I think I must be the only woman in the planet that has not had a married man (or really any man 🤣) come on to me so it's weird for me that people would get that opportunity.

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 07/11/2023 07:40

Ofcourse there's a disproportionate amount of cheating stories on a help board like this! The people with good relationships aren't talking about them as they don't want help.

No all men don't cheat. Some do. Some women do. Of the marriages I know that have suffered cheating, it was more often the woman than the man who cheated. I'm not jumping to the conclusion that all women cheat. I know they don't.

DeadButDelicious · 07/11/2023 07:45

I don't think all men cheat but definitely more than you would think. I also think some men like having their ego stroked and will participate in 'harmless' flirting and emotional affairs thinking that as long as it doesn't get physical they are in the clear.

Purely anecdotal but most of the men I've known who've had affairs have been very vocal 'cheaters are scum' types. Practicing what they preach clearly wasn't in their particular skill set.

user1471517095 · 07/11/2023 07:51

Of the 3 couples I know who have split up due to infidelity, it has been the Women in 2 of those. It might just look like all men cheat because it's a mostly women's chat forum.

Chamenangers · 07/11/2023 07:51

I knew my post would not go down well. We are both married (which makes it worse, I know )

I’m under no illusions about how fucking terrible it is.

gannett · 07/11/2023 08:05

These threads always leave me wondering how posters know so much about their colleagues' and acquaintances' personal lives. I've worked in a gossipy, party-centric industry and wouldn't be able to tell you for certain who was sleeping with you. And only the most stupid of cheats would do so with so little discretion on a work trip that their colleagues would all know. It's really easy on a work trip to do things without people knowing! So frankly I don't believe all the posters who claim to have a scientific breakdown of how many of their colleagues are cheating.

Over the past decade or so, as most of my friends have settled down into long-term relationships and marriages, I've also been vaguely surprised/impressed that there's hardly been any cheating I know about. Even back in my 20s there were only a handful of occasions in my social circle - fairly evenly split between men and women, and all but one entirely predictable from day one. Maybe it all happens when people are in their late 40s.

Original poster
Sundance03 · 07/11/2023 08:14

@Chamenangers you can just stop the affair it's as simple as that 🤷🤷 you have a choice. It's something you have chosen to do. You are a grown woman (am presuming🤣) so you know the consequences etc etc..... Am sure you don't need anyone telling you what you don't already know.

OP posts:
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