Do all men cheat?

[Sundance03]

I see a lot of posts on MN about DH affairs and cheating. It makes me nervous... I don't think my DH has ever cheated.. at least that I know of. Am I very naive in thinking that there are men that do not cheat out there?

@Herbiebanannas in your opinion perhaps which is not worth less than mine. I think you're naive, you think I'm cynical. OK.

My ex partner of 12 years cheated. He was the person that no one would have thought of as being a cheat. He was always described as a good guy, lovely etc. I think the majority of men would if given a chance and the odds of getting caught were low. And if things weren't going swimmingly in the relationship.

I thought my ex wouldn't cheat but was with him 25 year, trusted him and never checked his whereabouts, phone, laptop etc. i was too laissez faire. He cheated, not in a nice way.

'men are as faithful as their options'

@AllProperTeaIsTheft so true, I remember years ago my friend got engaged to this arsehole who got drunk and forgot who he was talking to, he said ''I love Leah but I'll always have an eye out elsewhere''. He wanted their good relationship and he wanted thrills as well. No way would he have broken up with her just cos he wanted a bit on the side. He wanted it as ''side''.

I never thought my ex would cheat. He did. One other ex did too, but 2 others didn't - so 50/50 from my very personal experience.

Of the men I work with, every one of them has cheated - my industry is particularly scummy though.

If they get the chance, yes

I dont think mine would but you never know. He works away a lot through the week so he has the opportunity to.

If he did it's over so I don't think he would but that's not to say I know everything about what he gets up to.

I'm self sufficient enough to be able to bin him off same day so who knows.

I don't worry about it to be honest. If he does I will just make a new chapter for myself and if he doesn't he can be in it.

Rubbish. Absolute rubbish

Surprisingly, they don’t all come on here and complain about their cheating women who have ruined their lives and taken their kids from them

^

More fool them

I am a man in his forties who had a long marriage that was miserable. I had many chances to cheat had I wanted to as I worked in rich people’s houses and there were a LOT of women who had husbands away.

I never went back to those houses alone because despite being unhappy, I was a married man who had made vows.

She left me (not for someone else) and I spent two years playing the field as they say. Then I met my now wife.

I haven’t and would never cheat. Ever. Full stop.

Guess what. I know lots of men to a level that we share everything on nights out and in all honesty I only know one who cheated.

He wasn’t married but he was living with his partner and I and the rest of the friend group disowned him as we wanted nothing to do with it or him.

Several of my mates have been cheated on despite doing everything for their wife and family.

Your opinion and views seem very skewed, and dare I suggest there is some bitterness in there?

Absolutely, i said same to ex, tell me if you want to cheat...nah oc he didnt. He wanted everything...cake and eat it.

Of course not. I work in an industry with a lot of technical, quiet, sweet, intelligent men. I really don't think it is in their nature. They seem to have long and happy marriages. The sales guys however, cheating is rife and I can hear them brag about it.

My DH wouldn't cheat though. I can't imagine any scenario where this could happen, it would go against every moral fibre of his being, and his integrity is very important to him. He has never cheated on anyone- even after he found out a fiance was cheating and a friend made a move on him in his younger days he waited until he was officially broken up and moved out with his prior partner to do anything.

Obviously those saying yes have experience. As a pp said, you don’t hear about the faithful husbands.

What?

Two things are required for someone to cheat: opportunity and inclination. Someone without the inclination doesn't cheat even when presented with the opportunity. Someone who has the inclination will. Sadly, quite a lot of people don't realise they have the inclination until faced with the opportunity.

The thing with affairs is that often it's not about the affair partner per se but about how the person cheating feels in the company of that person. Feeling young, alive, attractive, wanted etc are very seductive qualities (particularly if you're middle aged and feel life is passing you by). It's why so many people who have affairs that don't work out (as many don't) often look back and wonder what they saw in that person and why they risked so much for them.

If you really love your partner and don't want to cheat, it's vital to have some self awareness about this and recognise those first few dangerously seductive 'innocent' moments - the shared private joke you don't share with your partner, for example - and take action to prevent it developing.

@Barleysugar86 unfortunately so many women go for those cocky guys. That’s the problem.

I believed my husband would never cheat. A few months before he did I remember laughing at the idea, honestly it was almost word for word what another poster has written here, that he didn’t have the ‘time or the inclination’. Betrayed women don’t marry thinking ‘yep he’s definitely the type to cheat but hey I’ll tame him’ they married believing whole heartedly that he’d stay true and faithful, that they had one of the good ones (I most certainly did).

Until I didn’t.

I don’t think all men would cheat. But I have a more pragmatic approach to life nowadays and I understand that human beings are flawed and we can’t control another’s actions. And we never truly know a person.

Of course all men don't cheat. And it's misandry to think so.

You'll be told on here misandry doesn't exist.

Exactly and if they are cheating they are mostly heterosexual do there must be quite a lot of women out there keeping them company

I think it all comes down to personality and maybe their values, how selfish they can be perhaps. There are those that will cheat regardless and aim to do so, some will say they won't but would if they had the opportunity and there's others who wouldn't, even if they had the chance.

I agree that’s why STI regular testing is a must. You just never know. However, it’s not just men it’s women too. There are people out there that do value monogamy you just have to find them.

Another bloke here. I never cheated on my wife, who I was with for 13 years and I never would have, despite opportunities. Sadly she died three years ago. Since then so far three married women have made it quite clear they’d be ‘up for it’ if I was inclined. Just my experience and there’s definitely a lot of men who cheat. But there’s clearly a lot of women who do so too.

I would honestly die of shock if my OH ever cheated. He is the most loyal person ever, (to everyone who he loves, not just me, loyal to a fault sometimes)! I'm not saying that naievly, just knowing his opinion on cheating. I think it's horrible to think all men cheat. And as others have said, plenty of women cheat too!

snap - we are also 31 years together, and neither of us would cheat. We respect each other too much.