No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

How horrible they sound.
I would screenshot it and sent it to both of them and wider family friends.
With a text saying and now the truth comes out. Send your text to wider family too.
"I only wished her a happy birthday. Look what I got back."
Sorry this has happened to you xx

Unless you’re Scotland.

I would reply with ‘Don’t worry Mum, me and the grandkids don’t want any of your money. Narcfamilies.

Then maybe block her.

this is brilliant.

This should be the final nail in the coffin as far as any relationship is concerned. Go no contact and consider seeking therapy re your family of origin.

I presume as well you only sent messages previously to your mother (a woman truly not worthy of being called that) out of feeling a combination of fear, obligation and guilt. Also you've been trained since childhood to put her first with your needs and wants dead last. Your sister is a carbon copy of your mother and the reply you received erroneously yet fortunately was about inheritance with your golden child sister pulling strings.

Of course you're hurt. Who wouldn't be. Console yourself that at least you tried.

Some family relationships are just poisonous.

Legal Rights in Scotland – what are they? - Harper Macleod LLP

Just out of interest, in Scotland you would get a share of the moveable estate, so not including property or anything. She could get rid of any cash, jewellery etc in advance and there could be nothing left of her moveable estate.

Ha! Yes do this

😂

So tempting!!

Agree - this is inheritance related. Give it a week, send a text then block
“soooo sorry meant to message sooner, kids were super excited seeing you - catch up again soon xo”
May as well give them something to panic about 🤣🤣

I’d be sending the screen shot back to her with he word Pathetic.

as you say at least you know where you stand, it’s no contact from now oh and block them both too.

Sad bitches. Disregard you know who you are. Let them tie themselves in knots.

It sounds like you are perfectly entitled to seek some satisfaction here. That sounds so upsetting and I’m so sorry.

Depending on the sums involved, I’d perhaps be tempted to have an informal chat with a solicitor, to bottom out just what your inheritance rights are. Also make sure your will is all sorted.

The twisted side of me would be tempted to start messaging your mother regularly and faux-affectionately just to get her and your sister in a tizz. Think of the screen shot traffic!

How horrible for you, @Narcfamilies , I’m so sorry. 💐
I’d def. block and have nothing to do with either of them again. Who on earth needs such people in their life?

I’d send the screenshot round the family and add something like ‘So obvious what’s going on here. 🙄 Hope golden child enjoys all of the inheritance !”

But your mother and sister may not know that.

Given her reaction to one inoffensive text, I'd be severely tempted to wind her up by suddenly sending both her and the golden child a series of texts that pretended you had a loving relationship and saw her every day, and thanked her for all the money she so generously gave you and your children. They'd both go mad.

I agree it’s about inheritance and they’re trying to build a case that you were no contact etc.

This is horrible behaviour on their part and greedy of the golden one.

You are totally justified in keeping away from them but…

…might it be fun to send a loving message to your mum once a week- sometimes thanking her for the money.

You call also send a thank you bouquet for those imaginary cash gifts now and again …

This will cause the golden one to doubt your mum and vice versa.

They have messed with your head, been cruel and greedy so I see no need to ‘be kind.’

People who tell you to let go have no idea how much better you feel when you stand up for yourself !

This but I would add… “but I have kept a screenshot of it before you deleted it…. you never know when something like that is going to come in handy”.

I wouldn’t block though as they may use that to their advantage, saying something like well we tried to keep in touch but she blocked us. Poor us.

This is so cruel and hurtful and I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t understand it. But do relate. And it’s usually all about them and their deep down realisations (and guilt). Cut them out. You deserve more.

Do you have any relationship with the other non-golden child sibling? It's tempting to send that on to wider family, and I wouldn't let worries about being petty stop me. What I think would put me off is the knowledge that it would be positioned as "protecting" inheritance from an "undeserving" daughter and whatever lies were spun to justify your poor treatment and ostracision will be used as reasoning for their actions.

So more of a caution, share it if it would give you any sense of justice, absolutely go NC because you owe her nothing but please dont pin any real hopes on wider family seeing the light.

I honestly don’t think OP should send the screenshot elsewhere. Not because she should “be the bigger person” or anything, fuck that, but because it will just give mum and sister time to plot around anything inheritance related.

Hold onto the screenshot until the time is right.

So sad. I would have to reply and say "don't worry, I don't want your fucking money" or something like that.

Her will and making sure you can't challenge it. She's a nasty piece of work.

Won't others feel sorry for Op's mum & blame Op for "abandoning" her?

Id send the screen shot of the message to the sister and under put

I've got a shit hot lawyer sorting out the proof needed to contest the will, hopefully the ink isn't even dry on the paper yet and it'll be torn to shreds in court! What way that would be to live....

at least then you'd have the satisfaction of winding the buggers up

If the parent refuses contact with their child then they cannot deny that child a part of their estate.

If the child refuses contact with their parent then the child disinherits themself.

Keep in contact and you can claim your dues. If nothing else you gain the exquisite joy of fucking her off.

You should be able to get a pro bono half hour with a solicitor or even ring/ email one advertising on the internet. They may offer advice in the hope of future work.

Stay strong, OP.

Addendum

Keep in contact. You don't have to curl up and die for their convenience, including the wider family. Complain vociferously that she never replies. Keep that particular text for when it's needed because you never fritter away gold.