No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

I’m petty as fuck so would for sure post the screenshot in a group chat and allude to the fact that you’re worried for your mother as to whether she is getting early dementia or having a breakdown…

@Narcfamilies for you. This must really sting on some level. From this latest post of yours, I would say just go completely NC. Waiting on her to die/contesting the will/pissing them off etc etc will just keep it all in your head space and prevent you from moving on with your life without this baggage.

Just know that they are in the wrong and you are in the right. My uncle fucked my mum over with regards to their inheritance and although he was financially better off, he was literally having flashbacks on his death bed - he was morphined up to the eyeballs but kept trying to get out of bed as he needed to give my mum her jewellery (my gran's jewellery that was intended for my mum but he took it from my gran's house when my mum was sitting by her deathbed). Hi wife also told my mum that he used to wake up in the night in a cold sweat over what he'd done. I do believe in karma and they will get their just rewards.

If you do feel the need for a final fuck you, send the screenshot to both of them then go completely NC - block them both and do not respond to any future communication from anyone in the family about them as it will just continue to fan the flames.

Send the screenshot to your sister saying I think this was meant for you not me. I doubt your Mum has told her she sent the response to you by mistake. Then send a message to your Mum saying I've sent the screenshot of message obviously meant for sister to her.

Nothing can be turned back on you then and you can have fun imagining their conversations. It will remain in the background niggling away at them both

I would also send the facts to people on the lines of:
I sent Mum this message…and I get this back, which I then screenshotted then it got deleted and minutes later (another screenshot to show your message plus the deletion). I think the text was meant for …. Does it sounds like she is being manipulated into something?

the only answers to that are:
a) no she meant it
b) she’s being manipulated

This is just so awful. I'm with the "be petty" group just to wind the awful pair up but that's me 😂

I would send a screenshot and just say WOW! and block . Must be painful...I'm sorry 🙁

Delete them all including the bystander

Same. I wouldn't be able to help myself.

I'd reply to your mum, send the screenshot, let her know in no uncertain terms that you're not interested in whatever it is her and DSis are plotting, and tell her you hope not to hear from her again.

I'd also tell all and sundry about it, but that's just me...

100% share that screenshot with the wider family, with the text PP suggested of "wow, all I did was wish her a happy birthday."

Then respond to your mother with the screenshot. I'd say something like "Charming way for a mother to speak about her daughter and grandchildren. Not that I'm surprised having dealt with years of abuse from you. I'm done."

Then block her.

No, it is possible to contest a will. Often, the person inheriting will just cave for an easy life and give the contestor something.

Don't show it to other family members (however satisfying that would be)

Your dignified silence is louder than any lies they've spieled about you

Put the picture somewhere don't lose it. You can contest the will they are intentionally pushing you away. Get some back bone and fight your corner.

Are you expecting/wanting any inheritance? I think that would determine the response.

If there is money you are entitled to that will support your family in the future then be strategic in your response

If you don’t care about any money or they don’t have anything to give away then go down the petty route as what do you have to lose

I know absolutely nothing about wills or inheritance, but to be honest after receiving that text I'd be contesting that will when the time comes just for the laugh

The suggested text that @Biasquia put at 8:57 today, is actually perfect.

Post the message so that the WHOLE family can see what they are like. If they react to your message, you know what that shows? It shows that they have something to be afraid of, something that they have kept hidden from the rest of the family - THE TRUTH!

There is a saying about sunlight being the greatest bleach. Well it is. Get this off your chest, stop trying to 'be nice' or 'be kind' because they clearly have no intention of being either to you. Get it out into the sunlight because do you know something - you will know the truth. You will have done your bit and whatever happens next happens but it won't be happening in the dark like a dirty secret. It will be happening in the open and they can't hide anymore.

Best of luck to you!

This I agree with. Say nothing and wait you'll need your strength for when you contest the will.

I'm so sorry. I have no advice, because it's too close to my own situation and I have no clue what to do about that, but I just wanted to express my sympathy and to say that I understand.

Agree with others it's definately to do with inhertiance. Your mothers estate/inhertiance will go through probate and all blood relatives have to be declared.

I would be tempted to send a laughing emoji reply with love heart. Keep the sceenshot and send it to myself as an email.

Then take your time to make a decision, maybe go back LC for while. You have won by having your own life, family etc and can build new tradtions and be free!!

Thing is, as much as I understand the joy of responding in a petty way, it would give them ammo to share with the rest of the family. "See, she can't help being a bitch!"

And you'll never get them out of your head. Where they don't belong.

Maybe it's better to either reply with a thumbs up or "understood" and then block. Enjoy the thought of them squirming and fretting about your next move. But be firmly NC.

Keep the screenshot as a backup in case you need to show it to the wider family. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Be proud of the person you've grown up to be, despite the awful, hateful childhood you were given.

I would reply with the screenshot ‘Hi Mum, hope you enjoyed your day. Assume this was meant for Jane? Xx

And then never speak to her again. You want her to know you’ve seen it, A) So her and your sister know you have a copy and B) Just to try and evoke some kind of guilt and unease. Surely even the coldest of bitches would feel awful knowing you’ve seen it.

I agree. I would go completely NC. You are better off without that toxicity - what wankers they are. Sorry OP, it's really shit.

I'd be tempted to send the screenshot to your wider family saying "Just sent Mum a happy birthday message and got this response. It seems a bit odd. Does anyone know if she's OK?"

But actually, depending on how you feel about your wider family, NC might be better for your mental health.

Sorry that you're in this position.

Get some back bone and fight your corner.

To what end? For an inheritance? Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health for. It may be best for the OP just to go NC with all of them and forget any inheritance. It's possible the OP might want to fight it and might get an inheritance but that's a risky strategy. It's just as likely to be an incredibly draining process to get a pittance that isn't worth it. Either way, I don't think the OP should be criticized for whichever route she takes. Walking away can take great strength and shouldn't be viewed as a weaker route.

So now it looks like, if there IS a way to contest it if you were in contact, she’s given you the evidence that you were and that she was deliberately trying to prove otherwise for exactly this purpose. That’d carry a fair bit of weight in court I’d say. What fun!

Sorry - this is not at all fun it’s awful but there does seem to be scope to have SOME fun with it.

definitely this. Good advice.