No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

Now @Narcfamilies I’m in my 50s and already NC with my family apart from my maternal aunt and her family - they still wobble about my being NC, it hurts, but its understandable if you’ve never experienced this kind of family at close quarters.

thats the backdrop to why I’m about to say with regards to your thoughts on the WhatsApp group etc

ill say this : “what do you stand to lose?”

if you did this, you’d lose nothing. Your mother has trashed you to everyone so if they believe her or don’t, it doesn’t matter really.

it would however give them all a LOT to think about

as I said to a cousin “who DOES that?!” At something my sister had done. That comment/question triggered him to deal with a deeply manipulative person who’d been plaguing his life. He’s busy now living his best life.

you can too.

fuck your mother/sister, they’re showing you just how utterly awful they are as supposed human beings

Make this her 75th birthday a gift to you of freedom. No more texts/cards/calls. Turn the page and focus on those who add to your life.

I’m halfway between @NigellaAwesome and @MzHz .

On one hand, the wider family will probably not want to get dragged into it. They may feel forced to take sides and don’t want to. Also they may wonder if a person is NC and then resumes contact they may worry they will be confused/in the middle.

OTOH, like MzHz said, a bit of a setting the record straight has its merits. Such narcissistic people as your mother/sister do big themselves up and try to make the scapegoat look worthless or the protagonist. Also the text is not an opinion, it’s there in black and white! After that I’d drop it and leave everyone to it. Get on with your life.

Most of all your mother has shown the person she is to you without any shadow of a doubt: nasty, venal and manipulative.

OP hasn’t come back but I wish her well going forward 💐. And anyone else who has been through this kind of awfulness.

Or send screenshot of message to both of them with a message along the lines of ‘what are you two scheming about? Inheritance?’. Click send. Then block both of them. Have a glass of wine and chuckle.

I'd definitely e returning her message with a note saying I think this was meant for someone else xx