No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

Don't reply, just find the biggest mouth in your family, send the screenshot and make faux concern about elder abuse - labour that you're not wanting to cause upset or ruffle feathers but just, it's so very odd to say and you're concerned about your mum.

Sit back. Let it spread. Block all the motherfuckers and let them drown trying to explain it.

I’m sorry I’d be petty, I’d send the screen shot and say think this was meant for sister, and I’m assuming this is about your will or power of attorney!
with a laughing emoji, and let them squirm
and I do believe you can contest it, my grandad had to leave one of his kids £100 just so he couldNt take it further. May have changed since then.
edit- even if I did this wouldn’t contest it when the time came. I’m NC with my mum. I don’t want her money. Or anything to do with her. But I sure as hell would want them all to panic! lol!

Bloody hell OP this is some shite for you to deal with.

When she dies, literally do nothing. They are clearly expecting you to want your pound of flesh. Go total grey rock/NC.

We are NC with DHs adult kids. Whenever I think about them, I hug to myself that I don't have to deal with their shit and it makes me smile and gives me a fuzzy warm feeling.

She’s a f*ing bitch op. I hope her life is as miserable as she is good for you for not getting drawn in. I hope you’re ok 💐

In a way it illustrates that she is using the content of her will as the carrot on the stick to keep them in line. What a piece of work. You're well out of that shit show OP.

Don’t know where the punctuation went 😩

Send the screenshot to both of them on a group message. Let them both see it, and don't reach out again. I'm sorry they are so toxic

My mother once addressed an email to my sister and sent it to me. It was all about how awful I was. She meant to send it to me

i would take it as a helpful reminder as to why are no contact and crack on with enjoying the relief of having her the fuck out of your life.

Well I think the best thing you can have is peace and happiness in your life, you can't put a price on that. You will be happier without these awful people in your life. Sod them.
My Grandmother was like this. Utterly evil. The day I decided to have nothing more to do with her was the best day ever. My sychophantic cousins who fawned over her for the inheritance are now all fucked up.

Wow!

Life really is so much better without abusers (emotional or physical) in your life. Inheritance is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Happiness is everything.

I'm sorry. That is just awful.

Hi OP,

Just wanted to reach out and say I know EXACTLY how this feels and it's shit.

And you are a much better person that I am...I would be tempted to forward that screen shot to everyone you and your mother have in common.

Text again and say you’ve read last message and that it is a real shame she feels this way because you’ve just won a large amount of money and was hoping to gift her some.

How horrible for you OP.

She’s 75. She could live for another 10-20 years. If you go NC that’s all those years of freedom ahead of you, free from the calculatedness and drama. No responsibilities for the nasty old cow. That aspect of it should bring you sone consolation, even a smile of relief.

How vile is she, your mother. And most likely your sister. It’s clearly about inheritance. Narcissists love to use money as control. She might even start on your sister lol!

At least your desire to distance yourself has been vindicated. They’re a saying something like at first the truth is horrible, then it sets you free.

You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at that as a future outcome 😆

It’s totally petty, you should definitely do it!

if you don’t plan on having any further contact I’d let everyone know exactly what Sort of people they are before I cut myself off for good!

I think I’d reply with “thank you for reminding me why I chose to have little to do with you. Consider our relationship over from this point onwards, you pathetic excuse for a mother”.

I'd respond with a screenshot and something honest and dignified like:

"That was very painful for me to read. All I have wanted is a relationship with you as my mother and grandmother to my kids, but you seem to see me as chasing an inheritance instead. Let me set your mind at ease; I don't want that, and will never pursue it. In light of the above message, I will regretfully also stop pursuing a relationship with both you and [sister], as it seems neither of you want one and the rejection is incredibly hurtful to me. I wish you both the best, and goodbye."

Then block and do whatever you need to to move on; therapy, venting on here and seeing that other people understand that your mother and sister are very dysfunctional people, building relationships with 'substitute grandparents', leaning on your friends. I'm so sorry your mother and sister are the way they are; it's brutal.

I had a page typed-up letter once from my mother telling me what a terrible person I was. These people are evildoers.

The fact that she was so nasty and abusive when you were a child and teen - another reason to keep the hell away from her OP.

I wouldn't send that. A narcissist will enjoy knowing they've caused hurt.

OP should definitely expose them to the wider family though.

I don’t know if you should let other family members know. Why not though? I’d produce both texts : your happy one and her nasty “reply”.

But apart from that I wouldn’t bother getting into any text or other reply communication with your mother or sister. They don’t deserve a response. Cut them dead.

Print and frame the screenshot. Send them each a copy, beautifully wrapped for Christmas.

😈

The sensible thing to do now is go NC and let them choke on their money.
You can fully heal and finally move on from the abuse…..

Part of me is petty as hell and would do what someone suggested here and send it to all and sundry, before blocking the fuckers for good.

I am so sorry OP, at least this will show you not to waste your time even trying to remain civil, remember, you can’t keep things cordial with c@nts!

I'd make a family chat including all your family members and post the screenshot

Oh absolutely this

"Hi all. Sorry to intrude on your Friday evening but mum sent me this. It was clearly not for me so forwarding it on just in case anybody was expecting it. Best wishes NarcF"