No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

If you suffered physical abuse as a teen and adult I would go to the police.

Oh, keep that text and contest the will when she dies on the basis of it

I would be tempted to reply with a screenshot

Good to know where me and my family stand with you and golden child

I didn't realise wishing my own mother a happy birthday would be so incredibly offensive but I now know better than to contact either of you

Hope the rest of your lives go ok

Wow what an evil witch of a mother and I use that term lightly ! So sorry op, well done on getting out and having your own family, I'd never contact the old fart again !

Well, personally I think that you should say something. Send the screenshot to your mum and both sisters and say, "would anyone care to explain this response to my happy birthday message to Mum, because presently it does not read very favourably". Just put them on the spot and expose their behaviour. If they can't offer a decent explanation, then there is no doubt and you can make the decision to go NC. If there is a reasonable explanation, then it gives them an opportunity to help improve your relationship. Either way they ought to be held accountable for it.

Meh, I'd do both. Message sister to set them off against each other and then share it with other family.

The high road is overrated. I'd message back and just say hmm interesting so they know you saw the message.

If there’s any chance you could contest do it! Even if you’ve no chance let the solicitors take majority chunk!

Yep, childish but they deserve it.
An oops text of your own but to sis.
'Mum I can't keep up with this plan anymore, dsis will be devastated when she knows what you've planned re your will. You can't do this to her, what if she's counting on it'.....
Then delete just after read.
Mwah ha haaa!!! 😆

You poor woman.

I hope there’s a place in hell waiting for your mother. This is downright cruelty and I can’t begin to imagine the things she has put you through.

This. My parents did the same to me.
The second parent who died, their Will was worded as if I and my dc didn’t exist. I wasn’t bothered about me but I felt sad for my dc.
Sounds like your mother is planning the same. It’s sad but probably best to go even lower contact if that’s possible.

Big hugs, op. 💐

I'd be tempted to go scorched earth and send this to all family members who don't believe you it's not like you have anything to lose now.
Definitely go nc you don't need to waste your time on them anymore.

I think is the above.

Yup, so would I, then block the whole sorry lot.

What did you decide to do? @Narcfamilies

Send the screenshot to both with "WOW" at the bottom then block and get them out of your life forever . You deserve better.

And I was thinking I was the only one who had wankers like this for family . They're everywhere !

It is incredibly difficult to contest a will BUT it can occasionally be done for example if you can show that you were financially maintained by a family member and their will failed to provide for you.

It sounds like they’re both paranoidly/meanly enjoying fantasising about a situation where after the mum dies you challenge the will and the sister argues that you had zero relationship with her.

They both sound absolutely awful, if this happened to me I would send the screenshot back with “Wow, clearly I shouldn’t have bothered wishing you happy birthday, and I won’t in future. I’m sorry that you weren’t capable of normal maternal feelings, or even basic good manners. I suggest you get therapy. Goodbye.”

I would send a screenshot of my message and her reply to everyone just to put the cat among the pigeons, then sit back and smile as it kicked off.

Agree with whoever said that this can give a huge amount of satisfaction for years. Just the feeling of not quietly taking someone's shit for once is very empowering.

Yeah I think so as well. If OP is not interested in the inheritance which I wouldn't be given the state of the relationship I would just send a message saying my kids are done and don't need to be considered, she can give it to the sis and her kids if that's what she wants and cut them off.

It makes me sad to think some mothers treat their children like this. So sorry OP.
I would go NC, but first just reply “I saw the message before it was deleted”
then block

https://www.the-inheritance-experts.co.uk/contesting-a-will/?utm_source=Website&utm_medium=Google%20Paid&utm_campaign=NB%20%2D%20Wills%20%2D%20MTP&utm_term=contesting%20a%20will%20uk&utm_content=Google%20Paid&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJKqBhCaARIsAN_yS_lyS2tIfCHlnSEk2LQQuSpzdeQZREfXmtmHcuJ-OKx6lQx6YePzhSwaAlC_EALw_wcB

Go with the last paragraph here. Your mum is not behaving normal towards you her daughter. Therapy and lots of it is very much needed for her.

Take yourself out of the situation, there's nothing but pain in it for you. In no way are you in the wrong for going NC. They don't deserve birthday wishes or any ounce of your emotions.

I'm genuinely sorry this has happened to you OP.

Oh WOW! What a truly horrible mother and sister you have OP!! That message would of been the absolute final straw from me to block and never ever look back. Although I would of sent that screenshot of her message to the wider family to show them what a nasty POS they both are. I'd also have sent it to your mother with a final message then just block and never look back. Vile people they do not deserve one more minute of your time or energy.

That's so horrible OP.

I would have text back:
'Calm down Mum, I only wanted to wish you happy birthday 😂'

Your mum sounds weirdly submissive & like she's trying to appease your sister.
Maybe the apple didn't fall too far from the tree & now your sister treats your mum like shit?
God help the kids they refer to.