Calling out daughter in law

[Diggin]

AIBU my daughter in law expects my son to do all the housework and be primary carer for their two young children 1 and 3. They both work but she has the better paying job. I find myself having to bite my lip when we visit as she treats him like her skivvy. I’m sure my son allows this as his previous partner took their child went back to her parents and refused him access for years until he git a court order and even then did her best to prevent them having any kind of relationship. Should I say something or just continue to bite my lip?

With respect you’re not there so don’t see what happens.

She is on maternitly leave taking care of 2 small children. I would really hope she gets to sit down sometimes when the dad and grandma of those children are both in the house.

Nothing to do with you is it!!

Why are you cooking meals for this family if you don’t want to?

your son can manage his own relationship. It’d it is as bad as you say it is then as an adult he should be able to stand up for himself.

but if you are going round cooking when you clearly do t want to you are part of the problem.

again - is you DIL doing childcare while your son is at work or are they both in daycare?

Im a outta here OP ignoring majority answers and picking out the ones closest to her view. So rude, selfish.

Op is this the same son who was sacked from his teaching job for inappropriate behaviour in a process you branded a ‘witch hunt’ and a ‘kangaroo court’ and who now can’t get a job in teaching?

he does seem to have awful luck and always be the victim - and you do seem to only see his side of any situation.

His wife is the higher earner she may have skipped maternity leave.

Show me or you're being cantankerous you can't make statements without proof.

😂😂😂

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4581164-should-a-male-teacher-have-done-this?page=9&reply=118306874

or do a name search for diggin

His wife is the higher earner she may have skipped maternity leave.

OP said she is on a year's maternity leave.

How can he be primary carer if she’s on maternity leave and he works full time? Who cares for the children for the majority of the week whilst he’s working if it’s not her? Are you just visiting at the weekend? If she’s on maternity leave it sounds like she is the primary carer Monday to Friday but is expecting him to pick up his share of child duties at the weekend, which seems completely reasonable.

This is not the equivalent situation. Yes, the DIL would be criticised on here if she wanted to storm around to her MIL’s house and tell MIL that she was lazy and should not allow FIL to help around the house.

It’s a bit like the time my MIL picked her favourites from our family of four (her DS and our eldest DC, since you ask) and suggested that just they come to visit next time leaving her least two favourites behind. There would have been Armageddon had we suggested that just FIL visits us, leaving her behind 🤣😂🤣. Surprisingly, that never happened and we have been very LC for around 10 years now.

You obviously have issues unrelated to this post which you haven’t properly read or fully understood hope your vent has made you feel a bit better

Thanks for the character assassination keep eating the banana bread and strawberries

It’s both and the boy has issues mainly due to his mother - would take too long to explain.

Exactly

Diggin should change their name to Keep Diggin.

This is what I wondered too.

Thank you both - I do know my own son who tried to be a caring and supportive parent to his son but was thwarted at every turn by his ex. Those venting on here have probably had bad experiences of their own and projected that experience onto my situation. My D in L just doesn’t do any of the domestic hard yards - baby feeds nappy changes cooking cleaning WHEN I’M THERE. Now I could be totally getting it wrong about the rest of their lives together but I don’t think so.

When we had DD2 we went to a wedding on DPs side and had agreed that it could be my first day 'off' since having her 5 months earlier. My MIL bitched about me all day, how her son was doing everything while I had a drink, how I was 'twiddling my thumbs' even though I'm on maternity leave and he was working full time. She also brought up how every time she visited us it was him making the teas and serving the biscuits- which was true but is not a representation of our lives AT ALL 🤣. In reality I carry the whole mental load, do the majority of the cooking and cleaning and she sees a snapshot of him being Dad/partner of the year. It really, really upset me and has damaged our relationship.

You should have done that asked if fil can come over from now onwards to wind her up. Her loss with her batty requests.

In that case, how absolutely absurd of you to make a post about your son doing ALL THE HOUSEWORK when what you actuallly mean is HE HOSTS HIS OWN MOTHER.
If you are anything in real life like the idiot you've come across on this thread, I would imagine your DIL hides when you're there; as would anyone else.

She has two children she is their primary carer if she is on Maternity leave. Should your son not help out now and then. Doing a bit of cooking doesn't sound like a bad thing have they cooked for you and your DH yet?

I bet you my mortgage she did most of the hard graft of bringing up the babies. Late night feeds, constant nappy changes and endless cleaning and washing. Your husband has to work or else they will be homeless unless he hides the babies in his suitcase. You do sound hard on her and she probably wanted your company it can be a lonely world looking after babies.