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Original poster

How soon did you sleep with someone?

126 replies

Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:35

I’m going on a 2nd and 3rd date next weekend, two nights in a row with same guy. I know everyone has different opinions of when to do the deed but I’m thinking the 3rd date
if it goes well?

Wondering others opinion if that’s too soon? Or how soon did others? We’re both late 30’s and looking for a relationship…

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/10/2023 00:45

Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 20:58

@AMuser the 3rd night is an event and probably wouldn’t do much talking so he asked if we can meet the night before too, for dinner and be able to get to know each other more

He might also have scheduled that 2nd date on the Friday so that's Saturday could be the 3rd date in case you have a 3 date rule

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/10/2023 00:46

Cherriesandstrawberries · 15/10/2023 21:03

I think I’ll probably say that I’d like us to only be dating each other, if all is still good on date 3 and we’re wanting to be intimate.

I can’t date several people at once and I think he deleted the app a while ago due to getting tired of it (we’ve been talking for about 6 weeks)

They do all say this op

IHateLegDay · 16/10/2023 00:51

My time limit has varied between 2 hours to 3 weeks. There is no right time so just go with the flow and do what is right for you.

EBearhug · 16/10/2023 00:56

I'm usually a first date person. I don't want to get emotionally invested in someone if they're crap in bed.

PinkyPork · 16/10/2023 01:05

I was always a 1st or 2nd date person. Looking back now that I'm in my mid 40s I have zero regrets about that approach!

Lavender14 · 16/10/2023 01:07

I don't have a set number but with dh it was about 8 dates with about 1 date a week. I need to have an emotional connection with someone and feel like I really trust them before wanting to be intimate and tbh I felt like there were so many guys old who just wanted a quick fling or were dating multiple people at one time that it seemed like a way to see who was in it for a long term relationship which is what I wanted. So I think it depends on what feels right for you, I'd just follow your gut and don't put any pressure on it.

Starseeking · 16/10/2023 02:12

Ponderingwindow · 15/10/2023 20:41

I’ve never slept with anyone until I was fairly certain we were going to be considering a permanent relationship. That doesn’t mean we were engaged, but definitely several months in, exclusively dating, and thinking this might be the one.

other people want more casual
sexual encounters, but I just don’t have any interest in that. I need the emotional and intellectual connection to be there first.

This is how I am too.

With my EXDP we waited about 3 months to really get to know each other, though that was 10 years ago.

If I met someone now, I could imagine it being a similar sort of timescale, though not longer!

Moogoopixie · 16/10/2023 02:20

Same man I'm with now we fucked same day been together 7 years

itwasdifferentinthe90s · 16/10/2023 02:55

When you want to

Sounds simple but doesn't let other people's agenda affect your decision

harerunner · 16/10/2023 06:56

I'm not sure how helpful this question is. As you can see, some people have sex within minutes, some wait months. There's no "right" time, only what's right for you. It's completely irrelevant what others do.

hashirshabbir · 16/10/2023 07:01

It's different for everyone, but some people wait until the 3rd date, like you're thinking. It's about what feels right for you and the other person, especially when you're looking for a relationship.😶

Sunshinebuttercupsrainbows · 16/10/2023 07:06

Slept with DP on the first date and glad I did. Went to his because of lockdowns and it was all just a bit awkward but then he kissed me and sparks flew and then we had sex and it was incredible. If we hadn’t, I don’t know if there would have been a second date because we are both socially awkward so was hard to tell if there was chemistry til then. Three years later and I’m in the happiest, healthiest relationship of my life.

Startingagainandagain · 16/10/2023 07:16

Is it someone you met online dating?

If so I would say take your time.

It takes a bit of time for people to show their true face and many men on the online dating game have learned to be charming for the few couple of dates until they get what they want and then just move on to the next person...

I also would not book two dates in a row over one weekend but rather space them out.

If it is someone you already knew or that you were introduced to by friends then it might be a bit different.

BarbedButterfly · 16/10/2023 07:18

First date for current partner, almost 3 years ago. Has always been when it felt right to me honestly. Has almost always ended up in a long term relationship and on few occasions it didn't, well, it weeded out the misogynists who thought I was easy while actively participating themselves.

gotomomo · 16/10/2023 07:33

3rd, but it would have been the second if I'd had opportunity Grin

gotomomo · 16/10/2023 07:34

He's snoring away next to me currently in our house. A successful online dating story

emilysquest · 16/10/2023 07:40

About 3 hours for me and DH! We have now been married 19 years.

Wolfpa · 16/10/2023 07:44

Just do what feels right, I slept with my partner within the 1st week. We have been together for 14 years now.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 16/10/2023 07:55

2nd date with dh

NerrSnerr · 16/10/2023 09:09

There's no right time. We had sex about 2 hours after meeting which was in 2002.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 16/10/2023 10:14

@Fluffypiki 😂 no. The last guy I dated, we met for coffee for a first date, and I ended up at his place 30 mins later. The coffee shop didn’t have a toilet! And things…escalated

StarlightLady · 16/10/2023 10:20

When you get that fluttering type feeling and a little fanny tremor. I see little point in hanging about if it’s what you want. If he is a bastard, better to find out sooner rather than later.

My own sister met her husband in an hotel at a friend’s wedding. She bedded him within 2 hours and they have now bedn married for years.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/10/2023 10:27

I’ve never dated anyone without knowing them first so slightly skewed.

Boyfriend 1 - we were 15/16 and waited about 6 months. We went out for 2.5 years.

2 - knew him for ages but no official dates as we weren’t actually dating. Probably after about a year or 2 of knowing him. We were more FWB and only kept this going for a few weeks.

3 - as above but had known him for 4+ years. This was a one time thing because it was not a pleasant experience. 😬

4 - DH. We met in the October, went on a date in March and slept together on our second ‘sort of’ date in March. Been together 10 years and married for 5.

I’m very much of the mindset of have sex with someone whenever you want to and feel comfortable to. I don’t really subscribe to waiting for specific dates or a certain amount of time.

asleep · 16/10/2023 10:32

When you get that fluttering type feeling and a little fanny tremor.

Bang it out op.

SwipingLeftOrRight · 16/10/2023 10:41

Interestingly, I’ve surprised myself sleeping with people on the first and second date and don’t regret my decisions. Sex is important - compatibility, how relaxed you feel etc

Ive has 3 dates in the last few months, and have slept with all on the 2nd date.

1st one ended as a relationship after 10 weeks. Very compatible in and outside the bedroom (Gutted it’s ended as he was the real deal but that’s a whole other thread).

Second one, good first date, sexual chemistry on text between 1st and 2nd date, then a complete let down when we did it. He overestimated his abilities 🙄

Third one (most recent) first date was hot and intense. Lots in common and could have slept with him as he wanted to come back to mine, but I said no (even calling my friend on the way home as very much wanted to change my mind). By saying no, it seemed to higher the chemistry even more. Second date was incredible, like another level of sex I’ve experienced. 3rd date is pending this week 😂

All of this is with a caveat that I don’t sleep around with anyone. I am picky when it comes to dating, high standards even just from a profile, good chat before and various other things I want from the guy prior to meeting. I know from the above, I sound a bit slutty but I’m not 😜