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Original poster

Dating a man who has supervised contact centre visitation... red flag?

183 replies

DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:12

Just that really.
Would a man who has contact centre visitation strike up a red flag to you?
Would you do your utmost to find out as much as possible about it?

OP posts:
asterel · 02/10/2023 13:13

Errr - yes! And I wouldn’t believe what he tells you about the reason why, either.

Wishitsnows · 02/10/2023 13:15

Yes, huge red flag. It’s really hard to get. Courts often give very violent men contact not through a centre. Maybe do a Clare’s law check on him

Iamclearlyamug · 02/10/2023 13:15

I wouldn't bother, i would just end it immediately.

It's very rare for visitation in a contact centre to be imposed unless abuse has been involved at some point

Illegallyblonder · 02/10/2023 13:17

Definitely LTB because he almost certainly is a complete bastard

GilbertMarkham · 02/10/2023 13:19

Oh don't worry, it'll be because his ex is a lying, psycho bitch.

Poor guy.

Sux2buthen · 02/10/2023 13:19

Go, do not look back

GilbertMarkham · 02/10/2023 13:22

And he's probably out going for contact at all because he knows he'll have to pay CM if he doesn't do some overnights, and he can't get to the overnights without waging through the contact centre stuff.

When he does get them, he'll have Ms. Next do most of the work with his kids (or his Mam).

Original poster
DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:22

Further context as not to drop feed too late into the post..

My ex is the one having supervised visitation.

He has recently moved in with a new partner and HER 2 children.

I'm wondering why all sorts of red flags aren't ringing for her and how on earth can she allow a man who has supervised visits to have unsupervised access to her children.....

Of course, I'm the lying, psycho bitch who is preventing him from seeing his child.....

OP posts:
Original poster
DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:23

Drip*

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 02/10/2023 13:23

how on earth can she allow a man who has supervised visits to have unsupervised access to her children.....

Are SS aware of that.

Yes, it makes absolutely no sense.

littlebopeepp234 · 02/10/2023 13:24

Huge red flag! The only reason why a court would rule that someone would only be allowed contact with their child via a contact centre is because he would have done something really bad either to their child or the child’s mother (or both)! It is usually because they have committed violence of some sort but could be other reasons too but either way, he will have most likely been deemed as some sort of danger either emotionally or physically. Also, as a pp has said, don’t believe his version of events because he will most likely play the victim and claim it’s their ex that is the problem or that she is mental or crazy or words to that effect! This is what all abusers do! The court would not rule that he can only see his child via a contact centre for no reason, there would have to be evidence of what he’s done.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 02/10/2023 13:24

Does she know that he only sees your child through a contact centre?

FeelSoDown · 02/10/2023 13:24

There’s plenty of women who wouldn’t care about this despite what people will say on here I’ve found these men have no trouble finding new partners!

Olika · 02/10/2023 13:24

I wouldn't ever meet him again

Booklover40 · 02/10/2023 13:25

Well luckily it’s not your problem any more. He’ll just be feeding her a load of guff and she’s swallowing it. But yes, it’s unimaginable for me that a mother wouldn’t be doing her utmost to find out the situation- not that I would even bother, I’d just throw him back.

But I guess having a penis around is more important to this woman.

GilbertMarkham · 02/10/2023 13:25

I'm wondering why all sorts of red flags aren't ringing for her

She'll have believed his BS about the situation.

Anyway having kids doesn't mean you're sensible or responsible.... An ex house mate of mine, who'd shagged his way around the house, not paid any rent for months, was taking Es etc. ; met and moved in with a single Mum and her kids over the course of a weekend. Like days after they met.

You can't help some women.

MaggieFS · 02/10/2023 13:25

How would she know that they are supervised visits?

Original poster
DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:26

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 02/10/2023 13:24

Does she know that he only sees your child through a contact centre?

I think she knows he sees his child every fortnight. As far as I'm aware she isn't aware how he sees his child and where..

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 02/10/2023 13:27

Unfortunately, there are plenty of women out there with extremely low bars

Meloncocomelon · 02/10/2023 13:27

DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:26

I think she knows he sees his child every fortnight. As far as I'm aware she isn't aware how he sees his child and where..

Show quote history

So then why are you asking people if they would see it as a red flag? If she doesn't know?

Alwaysfreeolives · 02/10/2023 13:27

OP he has probably told her you won’t let her meet the DC and it has to be where you say . She probably doesn’t know it’s supervised

Laurdo · 02/10/2023 13:28

Some women just don't care. Just because you wouldn't let a guy like this near your children doesn't mean other people have the same standards.

My DSDs mum is currently living with a guy who doesn't see his own kids and is currently trying to evict them and make them homeless. How attractive! 🙄

Original poster
DilemmaEmma2 · 02/10/2023 13:29

Booklover40 · 02/10/2023 13:25

Well luckily it’s not your problem any more. He’ll just be feeding her a load of guff and she’s swallowing it. But yes, it’s unimaginable for me that a mother wouldn’t be doing her utmost to find out the situation- not that I would even bother, I’d just throw him back.

But I guess having a penis around is more important to this woman.

This is it.
My daughter means more to me than absolutely anything in this world and no way would I bring a bloke into her life without finding out absolutely everything I possibly could about him.

OP posts:
Eastie77Returns · 02/10/2023 13:30

Meloncocomelon · 02/10/2023 13:27

So then why are you asking people if they would see it as a red flag? If she doesn't know?

Show quote history

Good question.

@DilemmaEmma2 if the girlfriend doesn’t know, then your posts do not make any sense.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 02/10/2023 13:30

She obviously believes what ever massive pile of made up bollocks he has told her.

If her or her children are likely to be at risk from him inform social services.