This is how low men's bar for themselves is

[boundarypushingbastards]

So I am just back from a date. Guy seemed really nice when chatting before date, and I was really hopeful. He just seemed like a nice, regular guy. We are both outdoorsy and he suggested a nature walk. I thought this was a great idea. Off we went. Within 15 mins he was like, lets sit down. I did feel a bit 'hmm' as I thought we were doing a walk but ok. So we sit down and he immediately puts his hand on mine. I don't like this as I don't really know him so I move my hand away. He asks me if I want to see him again. I say ' I don't know I have only just met you.' He says he fancies me, I reply, ' You don't actually know me yet'. He asks for a kiss. I say no. He asks three more times whilst moving in closer for a kiss. I give him a firm no each time and by the fourth time I am really pissed off with this boundary ignoring shit and so I stand up and say, ' I've had enough of this.' and start to walk back to my car. He apologises but says, ' In my defence, I didn't actually do anything.'

This has really, really pissed me off. So in his world, because he hasn't actually assaulted me, he's a decent guy and I should give him another chance? Repeatedly ignoring a woman saying, ' No I don't want to', and continually pushing her to relent and using his greater size to move in on her physically, is ok if you don't actually assault her? That's how low his fucking bar is for himself and all men??

Fuck off! We are in our 50s! His other defence was ' Its been a long time I am out of practice'. What? He forgot women were humans with choice and agency in his shagless years? Fuck off!

Oh, and to make it worse, he has two teenage daughters. Is this how he wants men to treat them too?

I'm quite upset. It was a really horrible experience, being ignored and loomed towards like that. Made me feel really dehumanised and really shit.

Regarding walks - I never thought anything negative of them. I like the idea because I like walks and chatting, so it works out great for me. Thinking about it my first "unofficial" date with my DH was a very long walk - and it was fun!

But - we had a lot to talk about and he didn't do anything sleazy. In fact, the only physical contact we had was him helping me to get out of a ditch i got myself into (hills and heels don't mix!) and a hug I initiated to say goodbye.

And I madly respected that! I still poke fun out of him for being so reserved, but in reality he scored a lot of points by clearly taking interest in me as a person, I still get the warm and fuzzy feeling thinking about how great it felt to be seen and not just looked at

because that's another thing I've noticed about men - they looove to talk at you, not to you

I’ve not dove a walking date yet but I would do one as long as it was agreed that there was a pub/cafe at the end of the walk.

I always arrange first dates to be a drink or coffee. Never ever dinner and of a man wanted to meet for dinner I’d politely decline. I think eating and trying to have a conversation is a terrible date imo. I would also not want to spend that amount of time with someone I barely know. A coffee or drink date can go on longer if it goes well so that works best for me. I would also never ever go with the expectation that the man pays for everything. If he does pay then yes that’s very nice but I would always offer.