Dating Thread 243

[VenturingOut80]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SamW98 Don't overthink it. Just be flirty. Pick something from his profile that you can flirt with him about. "Do I know you from somewhere? ;)" might work. Tbh, it sounds like he's already into you, so literally anything said with a cheeky grin or a wink is going to work. Enjoy!

@SamW98 That is a curve ball! Just be yourself and say something along the lines that you know he is X’s friend and how you’ve been hoping to meet in person?

I have a date with Mr Beer - and we have spoken on the phone a few times.

This feels like a nice place to be. I am not meeting anyone or speaking with anyone else. Actually paused the apps whilst I see what happens with him. Can’t wait to see him next.

Well message sent - kept it light so let’s wait and see

I found that used to be quite common as well - women could be quite lazy about filling in profiles

A bloke would get slaughtered about getting so drunk he was sick over himself

I agree. There would outcry about never see him again, it's disgusting, red flag etc etc.

The double standards here are shocking ' did he look after you'?

I did ask if he looked after her but only because if I had been out with a man and the same thing happened to him I would at the very least check he was OK and see him to his transport home. That's just me.

Yes there are a lot of double standards on here and a lot of judgement too.

I think we would, on this supportive thread at least, give the same approach to any poster - man, woman or anyone with a different gender identity.

Unfortunately, in my instance, I had not eaten dinner as it was far too spicy, so the drink took hold.

Also - if it was a first date, definitely red flags and all of that, but we are a month in, so he has been around to see me drink the same amount and that not happen.

@LittleFloatingGhost I'm not judging in any way. You sound lovely and I'm glad he was kind.
I've been there before in a similar way and I have to say I was looked after too so I really appreciated that decency.

LittleFloatingGhost You don't need to defend yourself. Until somebody posts the exact same scenario but as a man, on this thread, then it's just speculation to say 'This is what would happen if it was a man posting'.

Would totally be a red flag for me. Nothing attractive about getting drunk, being sick, and having to have someone look after you.

@SamW98 keep us updated!

Hi all. I’ve been online dating for a few weeks now, and what an eye opener it has been. I was with my ex husband since I was 20, we split up 3 years ago, I’ve just turned 39 so it’s been such a long time since I’ve dated.
I’m on Pof and was talking to what I thought was a lovely guy, turns out he wasn’t who he said he was and trying to get me to do trades, was showing me how much dollars, not pounds he has earned 🙈.
What online sites are you all using?

Update - another non starter. He’s got a gf ffs but he’s on Bumble and matching with me 🤷‍♀️ and before anyone asks if I’m sure, I actually saw our mutual friend tonight and she’s met the gf.

Lucky woman - wonder if she knows he’s on dating sites? 🤔

What a treat @SamW98.

Aw @SamW98 sorry to hear that but better to know now. Onwards and upwards.

Bloody hell @SamW98 the brass neck of some people!!

I hate to say this but myself and MrsW continue to love each other more and more ❤We are nearly 5 months in and not one argument or anything like it.

Both of us are seemingly reading from the same script and just enjoy each others company & share our time together without any sub plots.

I probably ought to withdraw from this thread but I really wish you all the best of luck dating so will stick with it 😉

I had a 4th date with a woman that was badly hungover from the night before. It went downhill rapidly and it was a beautiful summers day lunch in a village over a green. Typical Sussex Sunday afternoon.

We met once more but the hangover allowed me to see lots of red flags and I ended it.

I casually dropped to my friend I’m sure I saw him on a dating app - didn’t say we’d matched.
She look confused and said ‘he’s with someone’ and said they were together at a weekend event she was at not long ago.
She then checked his Fb and they were checking in together with ❤️ as recently as 10 days ago

What a creep - he only matched with me yesterday. Feel sorry for the poor unsuspecting gf.

Like you say @SamW98 poor gf to have this creep!

I really do struggle to grasp how utterly shit people can be on dating apps and in real life!
Perhaps I had a sheltered upbringing but really is that how you treat people?

Hey, so getting past the first date ?
What's this about - on OLD, messages, video calls , meet, it's relaxed, lovely, chatty, laugh a lot, eye contact , all good. But then after they're 'not feeling it'. Happened a few times, but baffled. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm mid 50s, dating same age give a few either side. It's more trouble than it's worth and getting me down.
Any thoughts ?

@WtP

Lovely hearing your positive updates and it does give the rest of us hope than somewhere in the swamp of OLD there are good ones to be found.

As for that bloke - yep I’m with you. I just think I was bought up with morals and standards regarding treating people with respect but seems it’s in short supply with some.

Im not taking it too seriously now. I just chat and if it ends up as a meet up then I’ll go from there but happily getting on with my life and not overly worried about men. If it happens it happens but it’s not a priority.

Does anyone else see quite a few profiles that say ‘married but sexless so looking for similar’ that sort of thing. Is it more the older age group who are on dead marriages but don’t want to go through a divorce or is it common on other age groups?