Therapist contacted social service's because my husband was calling me names in front of my children

[1exhaustedmama]

Hi All,

I'm absolutely confused about this. I've been having regular therapy sessions for a while now and I tell my therapist everything.
Over the weekend my husband got angry with me and started calling me names "Cnt" and F Off you C u next Tuesday in front of my 2children (non stop). I told my therapist and he decided that he has to report it to social services.
This has happened previously when I was 6months pregnant. My husband was verbally abusive and threatened to take my then 18month old child away from me, which resulted in me calling the police.
Has anyone had similar situations?

That absolutely should have triggered a referral, your therapist failed in their duty.

I hope you’re ok now.

No. There is no absolute confidentiality. Therapist is compelled to disclose risk and/or safeguarding. Therapy is regulated and bound by a code of conduct (rightly so). A therapist failing to disclose and escalate could face professional practice sanction if they fail to disclose concerns.
when working with vulnerable clients staff must brief them that in the event of risk & safeguarding that client and therapist content will be disclosed

no point changing therapist, a responsible therapist will always disclose. Always

Therapists are required to break confidentiality where they have information that suggests that a child or vulnerable adult is experiencing or likely to experience significant harm. Patient confidentiality does not apply when information shared is for the purposes of child protection.

This will be the case whichever therapist the OP uses. Every regulatory body will have a child safeguarding policy that says their members need to report child protection concerns that meet the harm threshold.

The OP told her therapist that her child is experiencing abuse. Any therapist should have reported that.

It could take years for a divorce to go through. Please don’t wait for that.

Call Women’s Aid for advice and support https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

But does the therapist get to decide what constitutes abuse?
How on earth can you be open with your therapist if you’re constantly aware that he/she might report something you’ve said to someone?

@Potiphar no they don't that's why they report. @Takoneko says very well above.

Fair enough. I was under the impression that therapists (like doctors and priests) were bound by confidentiality.

Now I know this though I DEFINITELY won’t be telling any therapist anything ever for my whole life.

So if I told my therapist I wanted to kill my next door neighbour would my therapist tell the police?

You had plans to kill someone? Hopefully they would!

Wow! I’m kind of amazed by this. I’m a (lapsed) Catholic. If you go to confession and tell the priest you’re a serial killer who has murdered 58 people and is going to kill 58 more the priest absolutely cannot report you to anyone. All he can do is tell you to stop.

I’d kind of assumed it was the same with shrinks.

So why does anyone tell therapists ANYTHING? I wouldn’t. How would you ever be sure you weren’t saying anything that would get you reported to someone?

Laurie is 100% right on this.

Therapists only break confidentiality if they feel children or someone else is in danger.

The therapist did completely the right thing.

I hope you too can protect your children by leaving this abusive man.

Yes they would.

If you tell your priest you're abusing a child he'd be legally obliged to report you to social services

Because you either wouldn't tell them about children being abused, or you would in the hope/expectation that they'd step in and take over

But therapy surely only works if you’re honest and open.
How can you be honest and open with someone if you’re constantly aware that they could go to the cops?

Your therapist must have told you at the start of the relationship that they have to follow a code of conduct and if they feel like you or anyone else is in any danger they have to tell the relevant people. In this case they're seeing your children aren't in a safe environment so social services have been contacted.
Information sharing is how all the organisations are trying to tackle kids being stuck in shitty situations.
Not slipping through the net as they are below the thresholds.
Work with them, take all the support and advice they have to offer.

I personally would be very careful what was said to any kind of therapist. I saw one after birth when I had probable post natal depression. I later found out everything I said was recorded. I’m just glad now I wasn’t completely honest with her at the time.

Yes he can and would tell someone, of course he would.

With any safeguarding you can promise to keep it between just the 2 of you, unless they’re at risk of harming themselves or someone else.

Do you really think a priest or therapist is going to let you carry on raping babies or torturing and killing people.

Yes a priest has to. He takes an oath before god that he can’t break the confidentiality of the confessional for ANY reason.

You’d think, but actually the Catholic Church maintains an absolute sacramental seal on confession. The Church of England policy (in high-church Anglican tradition where they have confession) is to report abuse that meets the harm threshold, but in the Catholic Church the priest is just meant to encourage the penitent to self-report. However, they aren’t allowed to report themselves and they can’t refuse to offer someone absolution because they haven’t reported to the police.

If the penitent ever discusses the matter with them outside of the seal of the confessional then they can report, but not if it is only ever discussed during the sacrament of reconciliation.

The sacramental seal is inviolable. Quoting Canon 983.1 of the Code of Canon Law, the Catechism states, "...It is a crime for a confessor in any way to betray a penitent by word or in any other manner or for any reason" (No. 2490). A priest, therefore, cannot break the seal to save his own life, to protect his good name, to refute a false accusation, to save the life of another, to aid the course of justice (like reporting a crime), or to avert a public calamity. He cannot be compelled by law to disclose a person's confession or be bound by any oath he takes, e.g. as a witness in a court trial. A priest cannot reveal the contents of a confession either directly, by repeating the substance of what has been said, or indirectly, by some sign, suggestion, or action. A Decree from the Holy Office (Nov. 18, 1682) mandated that confessors are forbidden, even where there would be no revelation direct or indirect, to make any use of the knowledge obtained in the confession that would "displease" the penitent or reveal his identity.

Catholic priests are an exception though. Anglican priests would report as would doctors of any kind.

Which is why the Catholic church is famous for protecting child sexual predators. It's not a good thing that they protect criminals.

There should be no "safe space" for someone to commit crimes. Your "right to privacy" ends when you are causing harm to someone else.

Basic safeguarding

good