Page 5 | Husband doesn’t post about me on socials

NeedHelp000 · 2023-09-22T19:30:01+00:00

strange topic but let me explain….. my husband of 8 years has not posted anything about me on social media in about a year now. No posts for my birthday, Mother’s Day, our anniversary. These are all things he used to always do so it bothers me that he doesn’t do it any more. it may sound silly and I’m expecting a lot of people to tell me to stop being silly, but it bothers me and I want to talk to him about it. he is active on social media and when he’s done posts about our kids, their birthdays or anything I’m never in any of the okie photos. my question is….. how do I broach the subject? thanks

Notbeinfunnehbut · 23/09/2023 18:41

Covetthee · 23/09/2023 18:39

Exactly, you can clearly see which posters have not even read the OP’s post properly and just seen the thread title and thought ‘yes i can show my superior patronising self on this thread’

they are all trying to outdo each other on how little social media means to them (whilst posting on a social media forum)

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Spot on

I could imagine someone in a bad place finding it very upsetting

Susieb2023 · 23/09/2023 19:01

Notbeinfunnehbut · 23/09/2023 17:46

I often wonder if the people posting the absolute influx of gaslighting and manipulative posts trying to undermine the OP emotions and paint her as needy

realise how abusive that is,
most are capable of reading and standard comprehension skills so they understand what she’s saying but are taking joy in gaslighting someone feeling vulnerable

it’s disturbing

happens too much on hear

Could not agree more. Basic comprehension skills would help!

But I think it’s more feigning ignorance so they can get their SM snobbery out there!

PearlJamily · 23/09/2023 19:11

If he previously used to and now doesn't then yes it's strange. My ex stopped including me on his social posts when he started having an affair

Burntouted · 24/09/2023 02:56

Delete

Newnamehiwhodis · 24/09/2023 03:23

Yeah, OP, this would bother me too.
and for those who don’t like loving posts, uh… good for you?
when someone’s love language is words of affirmation, such posts can be lovely. And feeling hidden isn’t a good feeling to some of us.

if it doesn’t make sense to you, why feel the need to announce that? It isn’t up to you to police how other people use social media. That’s “cringe”, if you like.

I’d just ask him, OP. And/ or tag him in a loving post and see if it is set to private - although I think if you can’t discuss this, there is your answer right there: there are some things to work on, if something like this can’t be talked out.

Teamcrash2468 · 24/09/2023 04:35

Really you come onto a social platform to moan about something so petty. Do you possibly think that yout husband is of a certain age and doesn't want to post stuff on social media as he has outgrown it which you clearly haven't. Honestly there is more important things in life to worry about and last on my list would be if my husband mentioned me in a post for likes and comments.

MaggieBsBoat · 24/09/2023 04:45

I think you need to step away from SM completely of it affects the way you think about yourself and your relationship.
It‘s not healthy, sensible or a good way to spend time.

Aprilx · 24/09/2023 08:19

Teamcrash2468 · 24/09/2023 04:35

Really you come onto a social platform to moan about something so petty. Do you possibly think that yout husband is of a certain age and doesn't want to post stuff on social media as he has outgrown it which you clearly haven't. Honestly there is more important things in life to worry about and last on my list would be if my husband mentioned me in a post for likes and comments.

It has already been mentioned by several people, I am not sure why this is so hard to understand. OP is not complaining that her husband doesn’t post about her on social media, she is wondering about the change in behaviour.

Her husband is a social media user. He hasn’t got too old for it. The thing OP is worried about is that he used to post about her and them as a couple, now he still posts, but always leaves her out.

I actually agree with her that it sounds a bit suspicious. Like he is trying to convince someone he is single or lives a separate life to his wife.

harerunner · 24/09/2023 08:50

I actually agree with her that it sounds a bit suspicious. Like he is trying to convince someone he is single or lives a separate life to his wife.

Couldn't it simply be that he realised that wearing his heart on his sleeve and gushing in public in Facebook posts is naff and cringeworthy, and not something that people generally do these days?... The same realisation I had.

Actually I always felt a bit like it, but there was a social pressure to do it when lots of people do it... the fewer people that do it, the less social pressure there is.

Covetthee · 24/09/2023 09:11

harerunner · 24/09/2023 08:50

I actually agree with her that it sounds a bit suspicious. Like he is trying to convince someone he is single or lives a separate life to his wife.

Couldn't it simply be that he realised that wearing his heart on his sleeve and gushing in public in Facebook posts is naff and cringeworthy, and not something that people generally do these days?... The same realisation I had.

Actually I always felt a bit like it, but there was a social pressure to do it when lots of people do it... the fewer people that do it, the less social pressure there is.

Yes Gushing posts can be cringey, but the point OP is making is he has stopped posting anything related to her full stop

no pics,nothing, his social media usage hasn’t changed. would you honestly not find that a bit a strange?

OP- whatever it is i hope you have managed to talk to your husband.

LolaSmiles · 24/09/2023 09:35

But I think it’s more feigning ignorance so they can get their SM snobbery out there!
I agree with you.

The thread could be paraphrased as "my partner used to do X, Y, Z as a way of expressing affection but now they don't and I'm not sure whether I'm being silly to be upset"

It's not about social media. It's about a change in their partner.

IvorTheEngineDriver · 24/09/2023 11:01

I never refer to DW (or DCs) on social media. It's almost as if I were invading her/their privacy. My page is just about me and my activities. Doesn't mean I don't love them or have stopped caring about them.

Aprilx · 24/09/2023 12:08

harerunner · 24/09/2023 08:50

I actually agree with her that it sounds a bit suspicious. Like he is trying to convince someone he is single or lives a separate life to his wife.

Couldn't it simply be that he realised that wearing his heart on his sleeve and gushing in public in Facebook posts is naff and cringeworthy, and not something that people generally do these days?... The same realisation I had.

Actually I always felt a bit like it, but there was a social pressure to do it when lots of people do it... the fewer people that do it, the less social pressure there is.

Another one with reading comprehension difficulties.

He is still posting photos of their children, mentioning their birthdays. He is active on social media. But he has stopped mentioning her.

When did gushing come into it?

LolaSmiles · 24/09/2023 12:17

never refer to DW (or DCs) on social media. It's almost as if I were invading her/their privacy. My page is just about me and my activities. Doesn't mean I don't love them or have stopped caring about them
That's your choice though and is irrelevant to the OP's situation.

She isn't saying "everyone tell me whether you post about your spouse and kids on social media".

She's asking for advice on a situation where her partner used to post about her, still uses social media to talk about many other areas of his life but not her. It's the large change in behaviour and the exclusion of her that's bothering her.

CharlotteRumpling · 24/09/2023 12:23

Ask him then.

Emmaj31 · 24/09/2023 15:45

Hi op! I completely understand why you feel a bit baffled by this. Me and my husband were exactly the same we always used to post on social media for birthdays, fathers/Mother’s Day, anniversaries etc and then we both just stopped. It’s not a case of not showing each other off it’s more that what you see online is not real!! For example we have mutual friends who are a couple they do the whole social media over the top posts on every occasion, but it’s all fake. He has cheated on her (which she knows about) countless times, and she talks to other men frequently to gain some type of self worth in her eyes. What they post is so cringey and because you know it’s all lies it makes it even worse. As long as you are happy and secure in your own relationship who cares about social media!!! It’s all a facade!

harerunner · 24/09/2023 22:36

@Aprilx

Another one with reading comprehension difficulties. He is still posting photos of their children, mentioning their birthdays. He is active on social media. But he has stopped mentioning her. When did gushing come into it?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, wishing your partner a happy anniversary/birthday nearly always comes with gushing sentiments, often with photos of them on their wedding day or some other insta-worthy photos.

Posting about your children is completely different, and isn't cringy in the same way at all.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2023 22:38

Why is this still running? OP hasn't;t been back.

Switcher · 24/09/2023 22:47

I think it's still running because I can't believe this is all people want to take away from the issue - their own superior use of social media. I don't post anything, neither does my DH, so I'd be just as wrong footed if he suddenly started posting all the woo woo about how I'm the love of his life (paraphrasing here but it's fairly standard stuff for many couples, works for them I guess) as the OP obviously is in reverse.
Why the change, and why indeed is she hesitating to ask him; I think she's worried he'll lie and she'll know he's lying ...

Nanny0gg · 27/09/2023 18:54

IvorTheEngineDriver · 24/09/2023 11:01

I never refer to DW (or DCs) on social media. It's almost as if I were invading her/their privacy. My page is just about me and my activities. Doesn't mean I don't love them or have stopped caring about them.

Did you actually read and understand the OP's post?

Or do you need it explaining?

You NEVER did it. (which is not actually relevant)
The OP's husband DID and now DOESN'T

Do you see the difference?

Nanny0gg · 27/09/2023 18:55

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2023 22:38

Why is this still running? OP hasn't;t been back.

Just sheer exasperation.