Husband doesn’t post about me on socials

[NeedHelp000]

strange topic but let me explain…..

my husband of 8 years has not posted anything about me on social media in about a year now.
No posts for my birthday, Mother’s Day, our anniversary. These are all things he used to always do so it bothers me that he doesn’t do it any more.

it may sound silly and I’m expecting a lot of people to tell me to stop being silly, but it bothers me and I want to talk to him about it.
he is active on social media and when he’s done posts about our kids, their birthdays or anything I’m never in any of the okie photos.

my question is….. how do I broach the subject?
thanks

I've been with my partner for over 30 years and he's not even on my social media and I'm not on his 🤷‍♀️.
I'd rather have a happy birthday in person than a post on his Facebook.

Love how the majority of people have clearly not read the first post and completely missed the point

Its not about wanting him to post on socials, the op is bothered because if a massive change of behaviour with no explanation; he always did this for numerous years, and now suddenly there is zero existence of her for a year solid. So yes, this is an issue. Its something EVERYONE notices soon enough.

OP just ask him. It's odd he didn't say anything before he stopped posting about you. I think not even posting photos of you with kids is weird.

Best case scenario - he just doesn't want anyone knowing his business beyond updates of kids as they grow (this is exactly how I operate my only SM account)

Worst case - he wants to perpetuate to people or a specific someone that there is a break up/separation that has taken place in his marriage.

I think it’s quite normal to talk about your kids but not your partner, the latter being a more intimate and private relationship.

I would do either myself, but if it bothers you, just say you noticed it’s changed and is anything up. Unless you’ve noticed something else I doubt there is.

You don’t understand……..the site you’re posting on?

Really?

How extraordinary.

So?? My husband I probably used to post more about things we’d done together years ago, but people do evolve and grow out of things (or grow up?)

Thats why I said it’s what happens in real life that counts, are there problems there.

But you seem to have failed to pick up on the point I was actually making.

as a woman i would spot when a male friend/colleague suddenly stopped including his wife in things and it was just pics of the kids. particually if on holiday for a week or so as unusual to go on that without partner, whereas seperate days out is more usual.

I'd wonder if they had seperated etc, particually if i didn't also know you/have you on social media.

No need to be an arse Misspowertrip. Make yourself a cuppa. Chill out🙄

Probably missed your point (that others have already made. In fact I myself asked OP if there was anything else going on on page 1) because of all your unnecessary sneering about silliness and performativeness 🙄

He might just have worked out none of his friends or anyone else was doing it and changed his postings. I happen to think the opposite: partners who post extra gushy crap all the time are hiding the sordid truth of their serial dogging habits

Maybe he's realised just how cringy it looks so has stopped?

That said, I understand the concern that this is behaviour that has changed. So just ask him, no tiptoeing round it, no leading up to it, just a straight "How come you don't with me Happy birthday" on Facebook any more?

This

I'd tag him in a really gushy post and see what happens 😁
I'm kidding. But what does strike me as a bit odd is you're worried about asking him about it. Are you not close enough to talk about it very openly?
i admit it's a little strange if he used to post about you and the kids now just the kids..but there may be nothing in it

Just fine 😀

No, I mean that most people I know have reduced their social media to the bare minimum and only post what they consider necessary in some way.

For me, it's professional stuff over personal stuff. My posts relate to my work and my industry but I've cut out the holiday, gigs, restaurants posts.

For a lot of my parents I know, it's pictures of their kids for relatives in different locations. Relatives tend to be much more interested in kid photos than partner ones.

Who knows what it is in this situation? OP will have to actually communicate with her husband to find out. I'm just saying it's not especially suspicious.

Because he wants a certain someone to believe the narrative he's telling them, he can't be telling people about how bad is relationship is and then post soppy stuff on social media.

I would want to know why he's keeping you out of his social media presence and why he is portraying the "single day" vibe.

I completely agree but he used to do that and has stopped. However he continues to post other things about kids etc. Sometimes up.

I think this too.

You would not know from my recent Instagram posts that I am married with a child. My use of it has changed — in earlier years it was all child stuff, for overseas grandparents. Now I use it as a very occasional visual diary, and DS is of an age where he doesn’t want to be photographed, so it’s more likely to be photos of interesting graffiti.

I wouldn't bother broaching it at all. Utter non-issue.

I really don't get this obsession with social media. If he's fine face to face then no problems.

I think a lot of adults have changed how they use social media. A lot of people I know are now largely posting about interests and their children, whereas they might have previously also added in date nights, anniversary posts ,happy birthdays to their spouse.

It's understandable if the shift in his online behaviour seems quite large that you might be bothered by the change in behaviour. Has his behaviour offline changed at all? That would be the big red flag to me.

I only have one friend who posts birthday etc stuff for/about their spouse. And I know one couple who post to each other on Facebook while they're actually sitting next to each other. Which is bonkers imo.

But just about everyone I know posts about their kids.

I think spouse/partner posting reached peak cringe a couple of years ago, and now people avoid it. Kids...It's either not at all (rare in my circles) or lots.

Weird!

I tend to assume that people who post regular vomit inducing posts about their fabulous relationship are on the brink of splitting up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Surely normal happy couples don't need to shout about it to the rest of the world?

I often wonder if the people posting the absolute influx of gaslighting and manipulative posts trying to undermine the OP emotions and paint her as needy

realise how abusive that is,
most are capable of reading and standard comprehension skills so they understand what she’s saying but are taking joy in gaslighting someone feeling vulnerable

it’s disturbing

happens too much on hear

It's people thinking they are better on others and trying to find reasons to look down on them.

Says a lot about the kind of people they are

Exactly, you can clearly see which posters have not even read the OP’s post properly and just seen the thread title and thought ‘yes i can show my superior patronising self on this thread’

they are all trying to outdo each other on how little social media means to them (whilst posting on a social media forum)