OLD guy has said we’re not sexually compatible

[Feelinghumiliated]

I’m feeling very raw today, see username (created for this thread, I am a longtime MN poster)

I’ve done OLD on and off for a few years since divorce and had some fun times as well as a couple of longer term boyfriends from it.

I had a couple of dates with a guy from an app and met him for a third date for an evening drink on Saturday. We really clicked, there was loads of chemistry and we decided to have dinner too. I was happy to go back to his apartment to sleep with him, we were both a bit merry but happy to proceed. We had what I thought was quite a hot, exciting time in bed together but annoyingly I came on during sex and so inevitably there was some blood on the sheets afterwards, I didn’t realise what had happened until afterwards. Of course I apologised but he went into the bathroom to remove condom. We both fell asleep soon afterwards. All seemed ok in the morning, he made coffee and we chatted and cuddled up in bed but he had to get going for lunch with his family. I thought we left on a nice note, nice kiss and “see you soon”. He messaged shortly after I left saying that it had been great to see me, I had that lovely warm feeling for the rest of the afternoon.

This is the humiliating bit, I messaged him last night to say that I had really enjoyed being with him and when could we get together again for a date. He got back to me this morning with a total shit sandwich, “you’re a wonderful woman, so interesting and warm BUT (here goes) the blood was a turn off and I also didn’t like the way you touched my hair during sex, I am not a baby. I’m happy to see you again as a friend but not as a date.”

I was totally gutted. I have never had a response like that from a man I’ve had sex with, it actually made me feel sick. I wrote back and apologised and explained and even reassured him that I don’t have any STIs (ss to him some recent sexual health check results), he responded by saying - don’t worry about it, we’re just not compatible in bed.

WTF? How do I get past this? It’s blindsided me.

The post birth behaviour?

Maybe, but he seemed to be completely freaked out, icked out, turned off by the experience of watching the birth itself.

Like could t get his head around babies coming out of a vagina and that that was also where he'd put his ....

I don't think it's right but I suppose it's worth pointing out that historically, in primitive societies, did women not go off to huts when menstruating so men weren't around it. And likewise men wouldn't have been around birth, only women attended/helped (?)

So maybe we've partly created these creatures who can't reconcile normal biological processes like menstruation/birth/post birth bleeding etc etc with women being women and with having sex with them etc.

Though some men are like this and some not so .... There goes that theory

You've dodged a bullet. Honestly. Reframe this in your mind.

His attitude to a bit of blood is a massive turnoff.

That was Jane Addison, I think - the Ruskins' marriage was annulled.

Ruskin was an odd one. He wrote a story for and about Effie when he was 21 and she was only 12, and after his first marriage he "fell in love with" a 9/10 yr old girl and basically groomed her for years, repeatedly proposed to her, but the parents wrote to Effie who basically wrote back "run".

Effie had the last laugh though. During her marriage she sat for the painter Jon Everett Millais, fell in love, left her marriage for him (she was still a virgin after 5 years of marriage), and they wound up married and had a million children together. So clearly Millais has no issue whatsoever with pubic hair.

I’m rather late to this but pleased you’ve blocked him. Would have been tempted to reply with something like ‘Oh that makes sense. I was wondering why you didn’t seem that into it’ to make him have a good wonder what you thought was a bit lacklustre.

He's an arsehole. I'm on the pill and it's making me bleed. I met a guy for a second time last Thursday, I told him about the bleeding before we had sex but I've not heard from him since. Some men are just dicks

My first thought was that “he’s got what he wanted” too. What a scumbag.

I met a guy through OLD years ago. Things got (consensually!) steamy and I had to let him know that the communists were at that point storming the funhouse. He literally yanked my tampon out and flung it through the window 😂 and then a good time was had by all 🤗

Normal bodily function or not, he obviously got the "ick" from it, and the hair touching thing, so what can you do.

Can't believe he actually said it though!

He's a weirdo. You've had a lucky escape

I didn’t realise people were still contributing to this thread, thanks everyone.

Yes, he’s now blocked and deleted and just to clarify, I touched his hair, I didn’t PULL it. I’ve got no desire to pull a man’s hair during sex, but have had my hair pulled non consensually (not with this period guy) and it hurt like hell. Why TF do men think that’s ok?

Also, some of you have mentioned negging - is this a ‘thing’? Do some men deliberately put women down after sex?

Shit. I just want a nice boyfriend 😞

I’ve got no desire to pull a man’s hair during sex, but have had my hair pulled non consensually (not with this period guy) and it hurt like hell. Why TF do men think that’s ok?

Basically they think porn is real life, and real life women should act accordingly 🙄

I like having my hair pulled, but any man that has done it has asked first, or I have asked for it. As it should be.

His issue, you swerved a bad one there

>historically, in primitive societies, did women not go off to huts when menstruating so men weren't around it

It's one of the rules in the bible.

Cue someone saying "but that's the old testament!" and explaining how they pick and choose which bits to believe.

am I to assume you have a problem with that?

The point is though that she came on by accident. I'm sure if she had known she was menstruating or about to start she would have abstained/gone off to said hut.

No. I wouldn’t have gone into a hut FGS

😂😂😂