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Original poster

OLD guy has said we’re not sexually compatible

368 replies

Feelinghumiliated · 11/09/2023 12:17

I’m feeling very raw today, see username (created for this thread, I am a longtime MN poster)

I’ve done OLD on and off for a few years since divorce and had some fun times as well as a couple of longer term boyfriends from it.

I had a couple of dates with a guy from an app and met him for a third date for an evening drink on Saturday. We really clicked, there was loads of chemistry and we decided to have dinner too. I was happy to go back to his apartment to sleep with him, we were both a bit merry but happy to proceed. We had what I thought was quite a hot, exciting time in bed together but annoyingly I came on during sex and so inevitably there was some blood on the sheets afterwards, I didn’t realise what had happened until afterwards. Of course I apologised but he went into the bathroom to remove condom. We both fell asleep soon afterwards. All seemed ok in the morning, he made coffee and we chatted and cuddled up in bed but he had to get going for lunch with his family. I thought we left on a nice note, nice kiss and “see you soon”. He messaged shortly after I left saying that it had been great to see me, I had that lovely warm feeling for the rest of the afternoon.

This is the humiliating bit, I messaged him last night to say that I had really enjoyed being with him and when could we get together again for a date. He got back to me this morning with a total shit sandwich, “you’re a wonderful woman, so interesting and warm BUT (here goes) the blood was a turn off and I also didn’t like the way you touched my hair during sex, I am not a baby. I’m happy to see you again as a friend but not as a date.”

I was totally gutted. I have never had a response like that from a man I’ve had sex with, it actually made me feel sick. I wrote back and apologised and explained and even reassured him that I don’t have any STIs (ss to him some recent sexual health check results), he responded by saying - don’t worry about it, we’re just not compatible in bed.

WTF? How do I get past this? It’s blindsided me.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 11/09/2023 15:57

Bullet dodged op, crikey

All right, John Ruskin, calm down

^^

😅

coxesorangepippin · 11/09/2023 15:58

And whatever you do, DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN AGAIN

Original poster
Feelinghumiliated · 11/09/2023 16:01

KnobbingtonKnobberson · 11/09/2023 15:55

Apparently, the Victorian art critic John Ruskin nearly fainted clean away in horror when he discovered his bride had actual pubes rather than a smooth as marble undercarriage.

Yes, I remember watching the film about his wife. Wasn’t she the first woman in the UK to instigate a divorce?

Yes, he’d have had this reaction, and I laughed at the image of the soldier suffering shell shock (not obviously funny in itself but as a good comparison with this guy)

OP posts:
herbygarden · 11/09/2023 16:02

Oh OP, what an absolute dickhead he is! 100% not you - all him!!!

Original poster
Feelinghumiliated · 11/09/2023 16:03

coxesorangepippin · 11/09/2023 15:58

And whatever you do, DO NOT TEXT THIS MAN AGAIN

I’ve blocked him, thanks to all the advice on here!!

OP posts:
PansyPolly · 11/09/2023 16:05

Feelinghumiliated · 11/09/2023 16:03

I’ve blocked him, thanks to all the advice on here!!

Show quote history

yay!

bombastix · 11/09/2023 16:06

Good. He will probably text you again or attempt some other contact. Ignore

adriftinadenofvipers · 11/09/2023 16:09

Feelinghumiliated · 11/09/2023 14:57

Exactly. I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t a deliberate move or a “kink”. I wasn’t demanding he do something weird. Imagine if I had farted!!! (Which has often happened but never been a problem)

Show quote history

Imagine if you had done a fanny fart!!! He'd be in therapy!!

Can I just say this to you kindly - maybe wait to get to know a man a little before jumping into bed with him?

You've had a happy escape I'd say though - being rough, no interest in your pleasure just his and a totally irrational reaction to period blood!! He's a prince among men clearly, and shite in bed!!

CherryMaDeara · 11/09/2023 16:15

Imagine if you had done a fanny fart!!!

I understand from South Park they are called 'queefs'.

Dontstoptherain · 11/09/2023 16:16

Don’t even spend time wasting your thoughts on him.

Little boys that say “eeww” over women’s bodily functions have no place in the dating world until they grow up. Nothing less sexy than boys like him.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 11/09/2023 16:17

I can’t get past no orgasm. You should have text him and complained about the lack of skill. God I wish you had, I know that ships sailed, but fantasy outcome 😂

CherryMaDeara · 11/09/2023 16:18

mainbrochus · 11/09/2023 15:40

mate if you didn't come then he really is risible. Don't change what you are doing because of him ! He is 100% lying knobhead.

The hair touching comment is also suspect, why say that?

Conclusion - It's NOT you it's him x 2.

mate if you didn't come then he really is risible.

I'm surprised he was rise-able.

QS90 · 11/09/2023 16:19

At least we finally know where the line is when exchanging bodily fluids during sex - vaginal fluid fine, sweat fine, saliva fine, blood ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT'S DISGUSTING 😂

Insommmmnia · 11/09/2023 16:24

At least we finally know where the line is when exchanging bodily fluids during sex - vaginal fluid fine, sweat fine, saliva fine, blood ABSOLUTELY NOT THAT'S DISGUSTING 😂

I bet he doesn't complain if women swallow during blowjobs, but blood (which he also produces) oh no that's absolutely a step too far 🙄

LuckyAmy1986 · 11/09/2023 16:25

Oh god I wouldn't have been able to help texting back something like

"Oh I agree, I mean you must have noticed I didn't orgasm? I found XXX a real turn on off so I definitely agree we are not compatible! We are far too old to be faking it at our age aren't we?"

Rubiconmango · 11/09/2023 16:28

Erm, yeah, he's not a charmer and I wouldn't be such a simp with it OP. I'd reply with something like 'Euw, you've made it weird that I touched your hair out of passion, and we're incompatible? After being intimate once? Sounds like you got what you wanted and now want to keep me on the booty call list, all with the no frills attached statement. I enjoyed the sex and although I've apologised our of courtesy for the speed bump, you don't sound like a keeper, so best of luck'.

I wouldn't block him. I think people who block people, clearly still care. I'd delete his number and vow to never reply when he wants to see if he still has game. He's cringe a f.

adriftinadenofvipers · 11/09/2023 16:31

I wouldn't even say I enjoyed the sex. He was crap!

DixonD · 11/09/2023 16:32

Cherrylily7 · 11/09/2023 13:03

What a total twat
I feel sorry for any woman who ever encounters him again
I had this happen to me once and the man involved was perfectly fine about it and never mentioned it again

If it makes you feel better a woman I used to know told me a story about this happening to her
She was with this new bloke at his house generally getting down to it in the dark on his sofa and he was giving her oral sex
She suddenly realised that she had started her period and stopped him and rushed to the bathroom and locked herself in feeling mortified
He spent the next hour pleading with her to come out and reassuring her it was fine whilst she was seriously considering jumping out of the bathroom window so she never had to see him again
Eventually she decided it was too high so came out and saw that the man's face was literally covered in blood.
She was further embarrassed having to tell him this but thought it was all over.
After he had cleaned himself up they went back into the living room and turned the light on to sit down to be confronted by his white leather sofa which was now almost totally red.
He then lets on that it is actually his parents house and starts freaking out as to what he can tell his mum
She left immediately and has never spoken to him again
We had such a laugh about it!

I really thought you were going to say she married him! He sounds like a keeper 😂

amiold · 11/09/2023 16:35

thatsnotmywean · 11/09/2023 15:39

TBH most women know when they are likely to have their period and avoid having sex around that time. Did you have sanitary products with you? Did you sleep in the blood stained sheets or were they changed? Did he have to change them once you'd left? Did you put your sanitary products in a nappy sack or similar or leave them in an open bin for him to see and/or empty himself? These are all things that justify the ick to be honest. Yes women get periods, but you dont have to show it off or have sex during it, and its important to keep clean.

Are you a man or just a bit stupid? You clearly have no idea about female cycles.

Also intrigued how your mind works to ask those questions 😂

RedToothBrush · 11/09/2023 16:39

Mauricemossy · 11/09/2023 12:24

He cannot cope with a woman's period. What a dick.

There's a reason he's not in a long term relationship.

He can't get past a single month.

EarthSight · 11/09/2023 16:41

the blood was a turn off and I also didn’t like the way you touched my hair during sex, I am not a baby

This is so funny OP. He might just have being brutally honest, but it comes across like his message was written in a manner that was designed to injure you. Forget him and move on.

blablablagobshite · 11/09/2023 16:41

Lucky escape! What a creep

Birthdayblu · 11/09/2023 16:41

your post is so weird and… blame-y.

the guy was an absolute horror to the OP. At no point does she suggest she was indiscreet about her period starting. ‘Show it off’ dear god. Have a bit of empathy will ya?

Birthdayblu · 11/09/2023 16:42

That post was to @thatsnotmywean 🙄

VeridicalVagabond · 11/09/2023 16:44

Lmao what a donkey. If he can't handle a bit of blood during sex every now and then he's not going to have much luck having a long term sexual relationship with a human woman.

He may need to look into something more inflatable that won't touch him or bleed 🙄

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