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Original poster

What has a guy done that instantly made you lose interest?

507 replies

LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 17:14

The ones that spring to mind:

  • Thought Jordan Peterson 'had some interesting ideas.
  • Used 'female' as a noun.
  • Let me pay half. I always offered, but if you let me, there would be no second date.
  • Really poor spelling and grammar. Not the occasional mistake or lapse (we all make them), practicaly unintelligible messages.
  • Said he 'wasn't a reader'
  • Was a picky eater.
  • Was teetotal.
  • Was religious.
  • Wore a chain.
  • Didn't drink water.

The dating pool has pee in it and, on top of that, I'm fairly unreasonable. I'm very happy I met my husband. 🤣

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 10/09/2023 17:18

Use of the phrases 'm'dear' or 'How's you' were always an instant fanny-closer.

I like first dates where no money changes hands, but if not I'm suspicious if a man insists on paying - looks like it takes all sorts!

EmmaEmerald · 10/09/2023 17:19

Wow, .i thought I was fussy.

worst is picking a spot while sitting next to me.

Rec0veringAcademic · 10/09/2023 17:20

Oh dear...

Whined about the price of an onion (which I was paying for!), drove around a residential area for 15 minutes because he refused to pay for parking "on principle"... I could go on.

Another blew hot and cold (I was young, young for my age, and smitten, but found my anger at last).

Haven't had many relationships, but I've got multiple T-shirts for each.

Supersimkin2 · 10/09/2023 17:30

Farted in a campervan.

concernedalot · 10/09/2023 17:32

What's wrong with paying half? obviously i've been doing dating wrong

bossybloss · 10/09/2023 17:33

Wore white old man’s Y fronts!

WhatNoRaisins · 10/09/2023 17:33

Overhead a guy talking rather graphically and disrespectfully about someone he'd slept with. Instant turn off for me.

Privatelyliving · 10/09/2023 17:34

I object more to those who won't "let" me pay half. Why do you think they should?

Used the word bantz in a message.

Ilovelurchers · 10/09/2023 17:37

Out of interest OP, not criticising, but what put you off about them being teetotal? Was it that you would feel bad drinking in front of them or something? Or you are particularly interested in certain types of alcohol (like, fine wines or real ale or something) and would want to share that?

I'm teetotal but happy for people to drink in front of me - just curious to know why it might put someone off? I don't think it majorly limits the activities I will take part in - especially now nice 0% versions of different drinks is becoming more of a thing. I guess I would go to a wine tasting probably, so if someone loved that. I would go to a real ale festival tho, and in general I love pubs!

Bunnyhair · 10/09/2023 17:40

Wore exceptionally squeaky shoes

dikwad · 10/09/2023 17:40

JP does have lots of interesting thoughts/ideas/opinions. Send that one my way.

icelollycraving · 10/09/2023 17:41

Smelt of cheap sausages and gravy. He was a really nice guy, doted on me, but was quite boring. He came over to my flat to watch a film and have a bottle of wine, suggested heavily he’d like to stay. I went with it but he smelt overwhelmingly of the dinner his mum had done him.You know like that cooking smell you sometimes get in old people’s homes. Veg boiled to fuck. Put me right off. Finished with him 2 days later.
Probably would have been a really nice husband tbh. I always liked the dramatic shitty boyfriends sadly.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 10/09/2023 17:41

It's weird to care that a man lets you pay half, especially when you offer.

I agree about Jordan Person, and would add Andrew Tate.

Balloonhearts · 10/09/2023 17:42

Slag off his exes
Ask my weight height and bra size after like 2 messages
Dick pic. Ever.
Doesn't like animals
Doesn't read.
Makes rape jokes
Refers to me as his 'bird'

Smokes
Very religious

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2023 17:44

Talked about how bad his ex was and all him er family were on 'his side' too.

Said women in canary wharf just wanted men to buy them drinks

Didn't talk at all unless I asked a question then gave a one word answer.

Ignored me and looked at his phone for most of the date. When he asked me on date 2 and I said no as I found it rude he was texting all date he said 'No I wasn't I was watching football'

nomoreacorns · 10/09/2023 17:46

dikwad · 10/09/2023 17:40

JP does have lots of interesting thoughts/ideas/opinions. Send that one my way.

I agree. That wouldn't put me off until he told me what the ideas were that he thought were interesting. Then I'd decide. Enormous amounts of made up shit are spoken about JP by people who have clearly never read or listened to his stuff.

What would put me off someone was them dismissing a person because of what other people had said about them, when they had never investigated that person's ideas themself..

Ibizafun · 10/09/2023 17:50

Can't stand stingyness in a man or poor hygiene.. the faintest whiff of unwashed I'd run a mile

Whataretheodds · 10/09/2023 17:50

Gosh. Are single men expected to pick up the whole tab on all of their first dates including where they've never met the date in person before? Seems harsh.

Let's hope you're not one of those women who thinks a walk and a coffee isn't an acceptable first date, OP

HarrietStyles · 10/09/2023 17:51

I was dating the loveliest guy when I was about 19/20 and then one day he looked me lovingly in the eyes and said “You are so amazing, I’m never going to break up with you” and in that instant it was over for me, my heart just sank! I was young and wanted excitement, the thrill of the chase……. In that moment the chase was over! I was not ready to settle down at all. Makes me laugh looking back on it now, as I dated such bad boys for the next few years.

ItWasntMyFault · 10/09/2023 17:53

Proposed! He then thought that if he paid towards the mortgage payments on my mortgage that was almost paid off we could then have wills leaving my house to both his children and mine.
No chance!
The only person I would have paying my mortgage is me and the only people that will inherit it are my children.
He got dumped pretty quickly.

Original poster
LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 18:00

concernedalot · 10/09/2023 17:32

What's wrong with paying half? obviously i've been doing dating wrong

Nothing wrong with it if you’re fine with it. I’m not.

OP posts:
Privatelyliving · 10/09/2023 18:02

LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 18:00

Nothing wrong with it if you’re fine with it. I’m not.

Show quote history

But why not? The whole he must pay thing is based on an assumption/history that women have no money of their own.

UneasyMe · 10/09/2023 18:06

Pointy shoes have extinguished a few crushes

Daleksatemyshed · 10/09/2023 18:13

A casual fling never progressed after he told me that as a Catholic he'd expect any woman he married to convert to his religion. I don't have a problem with Catholics but I do have a problem with men who think women have to change for them, it's always that way around, they wouldn't consider changing to their GF's religion

Original poster
LusaBatoosa · 10/09/2023 18:16

Ilovelurchers · 10/09/2023 17:37

Out of interest OP, not criticising, but what put you off about them being teetotal? Was it that you would feel bad drinking in front of them or something? Or you are particularly interested in certain types of alcohol (like, fine wines or real ale or something) and would want to share that?

I'm teetotal but happy for people to drink in front of me - just curious to know why it might put someone off? I don't think it majorly limits the activities I will take part in - especially now nice 0% versions of different drinks is becoming more of a thing. I guess I would go to a wine tasting probably, so if someone loved that. I would go to a real ale festival tho, and in general I love pubs!

Going out for a drink with someone who doesn’t drink is not fun, in my opinion. It doesn’t make me feel bad, I just have no interest in doing it.

I was dating to find a LTR and that was never going to be someone with whom I couldn’t share a bottle of wine.

OP posts: