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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He punched me in the face, I dialled 999

245 replies

OkTrinny · 08/09/2023 22:57

He suddenly went into his mood and flipped. I went upstairs with the children. He followed me up after 5mins even though he just said he wants to be left alone. I told him to go downstairs he refused and told me to fuck off. I told him I've had enough of everything, I had enough of his bullshit treatment towards me, he kept saying stfu, or I'll punch you in the mouth. I just snapped and said you dare and I'll call the police. He kept saying stfu as I was speaking then smacked/punched my mouth.i began crying and dialled 999, I could hear the lady saying hello but I never spoke. She could hear me crying. I cut the call. I never thought I'd call them CZ I've just been too afraid of aftermath. Its been happening for 6 years, I've put up with his crap and something just made me dial 999, physically and mentally I'm shitting down I cant take the crap

What will happen next ? got 3 private calls since i dialling it. But havnt picked up

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 09/09/2023 00:08

Do not be afraid to call them they are there to help. It won't be long before he may turn on your children to. Do you want them to see this and what a bad relationship is? I didn't and the best decision ever to call them. We moved back to my family area a short time later and a judge vmbanned any contact by there dad, unknown to me he had a past of abuse,violence and arrests before he met me with other women and one older child.

Banderbear · 09/09/2023 00:08

If you speak to the police and tell them what he has done, they have a duty to act. The most likely thing is that he will be arrested as he has physically assaulted you. They will want you to provide a statement about what has happened, including anything previously that you haven’t reported. Even if it is controlling behaviour rather than a physical assault. Even if you don’t provide a statement they could still choose to arrest him but it is unlikely that it will go to court. They will want to see your children to make sure they are okay and only that, not to make you feel like you’re a bad mum or get social services involved or anything, just to check they are safe. It seems overwhelming right now but they will help you. If you provide a statement it gives them more power to protect you, by giving him temporary conditions not to go near you or the house. These conditions can be made permanent by the court. If you have nowhere safe to stay they will also help you with this. If he breaks the conditions not to contact you he can be arrested again, even if he doesn’t do anything more serious.

Be brave. I can promise you that as terrible as this has been, he is just testing the waters. If you look back over your relationship you will see his behaviour has been escalating. It will get worse. I have seen this type of situation go terribly wrong. Please call again and please follow through with it once you do.

BoatsAndHoes · 09/09/2023 00:10

@Ladyj84 Does he still see the kids? How does it work? Sorry for the questions, I'm in a similar position at the moment.

TheShellBeach · 09/09/2023 00:13

OP, I'm a woman who has been through this.
The police will do their best to keep you and the children safe.
Please don't fear that your husband will make it even worse for you. Tell the police how terrified you are.
They will help you. If you need to go to a refuge they can help you to make arrangements.
The important thing is to keep your children safe as well as you.
Please dial 999 again and give your address. Just say Help - and quickly add your address.
Please do it. Your husband has hit you too many times now. It's time you escaped.

TheShellBeach · 09/09/2023 00:17

BoatsAndHoes · 09/09/2023 00:10

@Ladyj84 Does he still see the kids? How does it work? Sorry for the questions, I'm in a similar position at the moment.

Mine was given supervised access but he soon got fed up of it.
He stopped seeing the children years ago.

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:20

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Catoo · 09/09/2023 00:21

Please call back OP.
You’ve had this for 6 years.
No more years of it OP. You and your children deserve better.
xx

KittyKingdom · 09/09/2023 00:23

I can’t believe that if someone call the police and all they hear is crying they don’t just go round. What if they’re hostage to actions that follow the call? What if they’re actually just a hostage? I can’t believe that they didn’t come, I’m so disappointed in the world right now. Everything’s so unfair and incredibly stupid. OP made the call that’s so brave.

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:25

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TakenUpTheOxoTower · 09/09/2023 00:26

@canyoufeedthedog

Can you explain your posts please?

Do you have issues with the op?

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:27

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SophiaElizabethGrace · 09/09/2023 00:28

Nope. I still don't understand what you mean.

TakenUpTheOxoTower · 09/09/2023 00:29

So you don’t believe the OP?

Any particular reason why? Have you ever been in a DV situation yourself?

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:29

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rubydoobydoo · 09/09/2023 00:31

OkTrinny · 08/09/2023 23:59

This

Show quote history

If you are honest with the police about what has happened, they will attend tonight and he will likely be arrested. If he is released after this it will be with bail conditions not to return to the address - or a DVPO (domestic violence protection order) - which if he breaches he will be in even more trouble.
For this to happen you need to be honest with the police about exactly what has happened and what has happened in the past, nobody wants you to be in danger !

Someoneonlyyouknow · 09/09/2023 00:31

@canyoufeedthedog

I really hope you're right. I would rather see dozens of false threads than this woman's story be true.

KittyKingdom · 09/09/2023 00:32

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That’s just mean. I’ve never been in this position so don’t know what’s real or not. It doesn’t make me an idiot. So will the police come then if someone breaks into my mums house and she phones them but can’t speak.

TakenUpTheOxoTower · 09/09/2023 00:33

Why are you on this post then? Why give it validation by reading and commenting if you believe it to be untrue?
Surely, you just scroll by if you think the post is fake or something you’re not interested in?

KatyKopykat · 09/09/2023 00:33

BoatsAndHoes · 09/09/2023 00:10

@Ladyj84 Does he still see the kids? How does it work? Sorry for the questions, I'm in a similar position at the moment.

The OP has just referred to this man as "he". We don't know if he's her husband, partner, or father of the children or not. I hope he's not their father.

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:36

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canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:37

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tolerable · 09/09/2023 00:38

my kid called 999 and hung up.promted door knock. .its friday. if you arent ok with speak at them,and..thats ok.can you do email the 101 helpdesk.even if you bablle that hes hit you and youre done(helps if put adress they WILL respond.please. even dm me your adress-i will call them for you.

canyoufeedthedog · 09/09/2023 00:39

Can you make sense?

PieFaceAndLovingIt · 09/09/2023 00:39

Dial 999 on a mobile ,then press 55.This will be transferred to a police operator. Cough, tap the phone, whisper "help me" or continue to press 55.They will ask you yes/no questions to find out how to get to out and stay on the line until the police arrive. This only works on a mobile.
If you phone 999 from a landline, but don't speak, then hang up, the operator will keep the line open for approx 1 minute in case they can hear anything of concern.
You don't deserve to live like this, please, please tell the police your address. This is how I got out x

rubydoobydoo · 09/09/2023 00:40

Police call handler for nearly 10 years here.
If we have a 999 call and the person hangs up we try to call them back first. We can see the rough area it's coming from - sometimes it's more accurate than others.

Sometimes it's obvious it's a pocket dial and if they don't answer when called back we'd just leave a voicemail and it would go no further.

If there are any sounds of disturbance or distress we would send officers to the general area where the call is coming from, and in the meantime we would do checks with the phone provider and hope it's a contract phone so we can see who has called - if it is and the address is in the area where the call has come from then the officers would go straight there.

If it isn't in the area then we would still go to the address the phone is registered to for a safe and well check on the caller.