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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He punched me in the face, I dialled 999

245 replies

OkTrinny · 08/09/2023 22:57

He suddenly went into his mood and flipped. I went upstairs with the children. He followed me up after 5mins even though he just said he wants to be left alone. I told him to go downstairs he refused and told me to fuck off. I told him I've had enough of everything, I had enough of his bullshit treatment towards me, he kept saying stfu, or I'll punch you in the mouth. I just snapped and said you dare and I'll call the police. He kept saying stfu as I was speaking then smacked/punched my mouth.i began crying and dialled 999, I could hear the lady saying hello but I never spoke. She could hear me crying. I cut the call. I never thought I'd call them CZ I've just been too afraid of aftermath. Its been happening for 6 years, I've put up with his crap and something just made me dial 999, physically and mentally I'm shitting down I cant take the crap

What will happen next ? got 3 private calls since i dialling it. But havnt picked up

OP posts:
2jacqi · 08/09/2023 23:30

never felt so uneasy reading a post on here till just now!!! you need to speak to police urgently for you and your childrens' safety and possibly life!!!! do it immediately. please do it. xxx

FlamingoQueen · 08/09/2023 23:32

Hopefully, the Police will realise you are in danger and send someone round. Please tell them what’s going on - you don’t want the next step to be that you’re lying unconscious on the floor and he’s taken the children.

If you really can’t tell them, then please speak to school on Monday morning (assuming your dc are old enough) or nursery and ask to speak to the safeguarding person. They will help you and will support you to take the necessary steps.

please be brave - you and your dc do not deserve this x

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 08/09/2023 23:32

You don't deserve this and your kids shouldn't have to see this. My mum and dad used to fight all the time and it was horrible.
Please don't let anything else happen to you or your kids. Phone the police and get away from him.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:33

Ladyj84 · 08/09/2023 23:28

You wouldn't get me not following thru calling the police my 4 children mean everything to me regardless of whether it's a family member or not I have to call in. You do realise if you had fallen the wrong way or he had punched a certain place on your head you could be dead right now and the children no mum

That's really harsh to imply OP doesn't care about her children because she's fucking terrified and conditioned by an abuser to live in fear. You've obviously never gone through what she's going through right now but can't you at least use your imagination? It takes on average 7 attempts for a woman to leave an abuser.

Here. Educate yourself and come back when you've got something helpful to say: https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/the-facts/

The Facts - Refuge

The numbers don’t lie: they tell a clear story about the prevalence and harmful effects of abuse.

https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/the-facts

foxlover47 · 08/09/2023 23:33

In my past experience they will send officers to check on you , it happened to me before in my past relationship but just on the off chance though , that they don't , please call them
Back , he's a ticking time bomb

ParentingSolo · 08/09/2023 23:33

canyoufeedthedog · 08/09/2023 23:11

Also ,the Police are alerted if you don't answer and you present as vulnerable. It's logged and not in your hands eventually.

not in your hands eventually

Why on earth have you said this? Are you trying to put OP off calling for help????

Namechangeforadvicepleaseandthankyou · 08/09/2023 23:33

you've done so good to come back to the thread …. Every one is saying the same …..
you need to do this….
you can do it ….
you absolutely can ….

foxlover47 · 08/09/2023 23:33

@BiscuitsandPuffin absolutely agree

monsteramunch · 08/09/2023 23:34

OkTrinny · 08/09/2023 23:22

I cant do it I just cannot say it, the future scares me so much

The future is your children growing up in an abusive household and likely replicating this dynamic themselves as adults, if you don't leave this man starting by cooperating with the police.

Could you live with yourself if your child comes to you as an adult and says they're being abused by their partner but don't feel able to leave them? Or if you find out they've been abusing their partner?

determinedtomakethiswork · 08/09/2023 23:34

Just talk to the police when you are safe to do so. You really have to be brave now. Everything depends on you. 💐

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:34

All the people saying they'll send police or ambulance even if she doesn't answer, how does that tally with the woman who died in her car because she couldn't give the police a precise address over the phone verbally on the 999 call and everyone was saying the computer system doesn't function without an address? I'm really worried that no one knows where OP is calling from.

egowise · 08/09/2023 23:36

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:34

All the people saying they'll send police or ambulance even if she doesn't answer, how does that tally with the woman who died in her car because she couldn't give the police a precise address over the phone verbally on the 999 call and everyone was saying the computer system doesn't function without an address? I'm really worried that no one knows where OP is calling from.

Yeah, I think they can when it's a landline, not so much a mobile?

I could be wrong

Gilead · 08/09/2023 23:37

I’ve been where you are, calling the police was the best thing I ever did. Please call them back, the future is bloody wonderful!💐

canyoufeedthedog · 08/09/2023 23:37

Im bloody trying to tell her that even if you call 999 and don't answer you will get a call from the Police. Sorry for being someone who has been an emergency response worker 🙄

CouldThereBeYes · 08/09/2023 23:37

A man punching a woman in the face is just so very bad, it makes me cry that this actually happened to you, just now, this evening. Ofcourse you're scared of his aftermath. But try and think about the aftermath if you don't get help. What could happen to you behind closed doors, in your unopened can of worms.
I hope you find the courage to text them, use the number a pp wrote. Or call. But that might be more difficult.
Good luck to you💛

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:38

@egowise I really hope she's called from a landline and that someone gets to her tonight.

canyoufeedthedog · 08/09/2023 23:39

I hope so too.
Calling 999 and saying you are vulnerable WILL get a Police call out.

CouldThereBeYes · 08/09/2023 23:40

What is happening now op? Are you in a room with your kids? Is he gone or is he anywhere near you?

canyoufeedthedog · 08/09/2023 23:41

Even if she put the phone down. It will alert the Police and Ambulance services.
It's not going to go away.

egowise · 08/09/2023 23:41

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:38

@egowise I really hope she's called from a landline and that someone gets to her tonight.

I have a feeling it was a mobile sadly.

Op, if you can't call police please comment when you can, so we know you're okay tonight.

TakenUpTheOxoTower · 08/09/2023 23:41

Oh, lovely, I am cryin* for you - my parents were always fighting and my Mother used to try and burn the house down with us all 8n it to get at my Dad. I’m nearly 60 and I still remember that fear.
PLEASE get help, you children need you to do this for them.
Love and strength to you , keep posting so we know you’re ok xxxx

BiscuitsandPuffin · 08/09/2023 23:42

canyoufeedthedog · 08/09/2023 23:39

I hope so too.
Calling 999 and saying you are vulnerable WILL get a Police call out.

OP it sounds like you don't have to say much. If you've got a landline ring them again from that if you didn't before, then you don't have to worry about the words getting stuck.
We're all with you.

ParentingSolo · 08/09/2023 23:43

@canyoufeedthedog Sorry for being someone who has been an emergency response worker 🙄

Huh?!

missymousey · 08/09/2023 23:43

We're all here for you. You are important, you are loved, and you are worth so much more.

Please get the help you need and be safe.

BreadInCaptivity · 08/09/2023 23:43

OkTrinny · 08/09/2023 23:22

I cant do it I just cannot say it, the future scares me so much

What scares you most?

Picking up the phone for help or more years of abuse that your children witness?

Children who will grow up thinking your situation is normal?

You are right to be frightened and scared.

For yourself and your children right now.

But also for tomorrow and next week/month/year if you stay.

Call the police back.

Make this day the first day you start to change your life and that of your children for the better Flowers