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Original poster

Well it's happened as predicted and I'm so sad for my lovely friend

412 replies

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:30

My best friend who I've been close to for over twenty years got into a relationship a few years ago.
He was made up as he has very little interest on sex and she accepted it.
He told her from the beginning that he never wanted children and that he probably wouldn't be able to creat a baby such was his disinterest in sex. She told him at the beginning that she wanted children more than anything in the world.
A couple of years passed. He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away. She was always waiting in the wings.
He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite. He said he would never be getting married. Just isnt for him.
I felt he was leading her on a bit and told him so. I also suggested that if she wanted a baby that much that she would make it happen regardless. He said she'd changed her mind and didn't want a baby after all ! He didn't like it and we drifted for a few weeks. That was a few years ago. All perfect since.
I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes as I knew how much she wanted a baby and how much he didn't and Lo and behold she is.
He is shocked. Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective. He doesn't even understand how this happened .
She is now pushing for marriage. He says no way.
I am gutted for him. He looks so blank and pale. I really don't trust her at all.

OP posts:
FoxyFeeling · 04/09/2023 20:30

How long have you had feelings for him?

tiredofthenoise · 04/09/2023 20:31

'He looks so blank and pale.'

Well, not surprised on the 'blank' part, tbh!

Teaismymiddlename · 04/09/2023 20:31

He sounds like a wanker

You sound desperately too involved in his crappy life

Kisskiss · 04/09/2023 20:31

Something similar-ish happened to a good friend.
She was a bit older, they were both nowhere near ready yet for kids , she was on the pill and bam, against the odds ( and her age and being on the pill) she got pregnant and wanted to get married as she said she might not have the chance to have a baby again…
he was almost crying when this happened and said it was the worst day of his life. I also felt really sad and upset for him then as he was so clearly unhappy about being cornered, BUT he’s actually much happier about it now ( I think) and with his family ..

ArabeIIaScott · 04/09/2023 20:31

'He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite.'

What on earth does this have to do with his inability to keep his precious special penis away from an impregnatable woman?

itsgettingweird · 04/09/2023 20:31

I'd be upset for my friend.

I'd be upset for them and extremely concerned for them at as a grown male they hadn't been taught that sex = pregnancy risk. And unprotected sex increases that risk massively.

Poor in educated man SadWinkGrin

blackbeardsballsack · 04/09/2023 20:32

It's not even as if she pretended to be on the pill. He actively chose (not 'fell for') the 'withdrawal' method, so he can't be that bloody shocked.

TaraRhu · 04/09/2023 20:32

IMHO withdrawal is pretty effective if done correctly. It's generally the man who is in control of it. So you could actually blame him, no?

He sounds odd. He likes the bachelor life , trips, nights out etc not sex? What's that all about? Why did he marry? Is he asexual?

Loopylambs · 04/09/2023 20:33

He was disinterested in sex and probably couldn’t create a baby ? Well that doesn’t sound true 🙄.

continentallentil · 04/09/2023 20:33

OP this is a pile of cobblers

Any half sentient adult knows pulling out doesn’t work.

He knew she wanted a kid. Equally she knew he wouldn’t get married.

They will both deal with the consequences of this - and you know what? They’ll be fine.

Butt out.

Whatever your motivation for being so involved is, it’s unhealthy for you and unhelpful for your friend.

GoogleWhacked · 04/09/2023 20:33

To be honest, until the end I thought your friend was the woman and you were upset she was with a mean manipulative man who wouldn't give her children.
Anyway, it's their relationship and there's a baby on the way who needs love and support. If that's with 2 parents or 1, it's up to him.
Best of luck to her!

Notooserious · 04/09/2023 20:34

OP seems just a taddy bit over involved in this loser’s life…

Tiredmum100 · 04/09/2023 20:35

Oh gosh. Your poor, poor friend op. So she lied to him and told him the withdrawal method was 99% safe? I can see how he believed that. I suppose he never had an sex education, so he can't be blamed, poor little lamb. Also, it sounds like he comes from a wonderful close, rich family. And she has none of those things. She's obviously after his money as well. Smart one, isn't she. And your friend, such a poor innocent man. Part taking in sex he didn't realise would result in a baby. No, I wouldn't trust her either, hussy.

Pull the other one OP. Your friend sounds like a first class twat.

bluecorn · 04/09/2023 20:36

I can't believe you've fallen for his bullshit OP, how embarrassing for you.

EffortlessDesmond · 04/09/2023 20:38

Frankly, all three of you sound a few bricks short of a load, combined. Why didn't he have a vasectomy or use a condom? Why did she allow unprotected sex? And what business is it of yours?

BubziOwl · 04/09/2023 20:39

Nonplusultra · 04/09/2023 19:46

How did the wicked woman keep the poor man away from all sources of information on contraception? witchcraft ?

Quite!! Does he need the birds and the bees explaining to him?

He can't be that bothered about not getting her or indeed anyone else pregnant, or else he'd have got a vasectomy or at the very least put a condom on ffs

AutumnFroglets · 04/09/2023 20:39

I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes.

Seeing as how close you are to him, did it never cross your mind to ask why he'd never had the snip? That operation is made for men like him.

3peassuit · 04/09/2023 20:40

If he never wanted a child he should have taken responsibility for his own fertility. This is all on him.

frazzledasarock · 04/09/2023 20:40

For someone who’s not remotely interested in or jealous of her male best friend and his relationship. You are so over-invested in his relationship.

Hes made his bed. Why does an adult male who does not want children not know that PIV sex could end in pregnancy?

if he didn’t want kids that much he could have worn a condom/had a vasectomy/refrained from PIV sex.

and he’s not uninterested in sex.

Therealweld · 04/09/2023 20:40

Try being a real friend and giving reassurance, warmth and support to them all.

PinkNailpolish · 04/09/2023 20:41

If she lied about taking the pill/having the implant or coil etc then yes, she would be devious. However, your friend was stupid enough to consent to unprotected sex (withdrawal method). It's not her fault that he pulled out too late.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 04/09/2023 20:41

He sounds like a wanker

Would have prevented all this...

When you said he had very little interest in sex, I presumed from the context that you meant he therefore didn't have sex. Not that he did regularly indulge, but just didn't have much of a jolly time every time that he did it.

SylvanianFrenemies · 04/09/2023 20:42

Man "tricked" into having a baby by having consenting sex without adequate contraception.
Uh huh.

5128gap · 04/09/2023 20:42

You must have a very odd friendship dynamic with him, because you sound like an over protective mother talking about her teenage son.
Your friend has caused a pregnancy due to his failure to take responsibility for his own fertility. I hope he intends to use his wealth and privelege to ensure the child he has created is properly supported regardless of his intentions towards its mother.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 04/09/2023 20:44

I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes.

With this, I thought you meant that she might sleep with somebody else and get pregnant by him, i.e. he would have been cheated on and could have done nothing about it.

It's not like he can keep having it away with her but just say some kind of spell at the magic moment to forbid his sperm from working!

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