Well it's happened as predicted and I'm so sad for my lovely friend

[fandom]

My best friend who I've been close to for over twenty years got into a relationship a few years ago.
He was made up as he has very little interest on sex and she accepted it.
He told her from the beginning that he never wanted children and that he probably wouldn't be able to creat a baby such was his disinterest in sex. She told him at the beginning that she wanted children more than anything in the world.
A couple of years passed. He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away. She was always waiting in the wings.
He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite. He said he would never be getting married. Just isnt for him.
I felt he was leading her on a bit and told him so. I also suggested that if she wanted a baby that much that she would make it happen regardless. He said she'd changed her mind and didn't want a baby after all ! He didn't like it and we drifted for a few weeks. That was a few years ago. All perfect since.
I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes as I knew how much she wanted a baby and how much he didn't and Lo and behold she is.
He is shocked. Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective. He doesn't even understand how this happened .
She is now pushing for marriage. He says no way.
I am gutted for him. He looks so blank and pale. I really don't trust her at all.

How can he be not interested in sex but has made her pregnant. I think he’s telling you one thing and doing the opposite. Can’t believe a man who doesn’t want children has unprotected sex, no way

@fandom

So just curious. Have the opinions on this thread changed your mind at all about what a 'victim' he is?

I honestly think you need to keep out of it..
Shes pregnant, you warned him and he chose not to listen… if he NEVER wanted kids he should’ve had a vasectomy years ago!
Contraception is as much the man’s responsibility as it is the woman’s… it’s rather sexist to suggest otherwise.. particularly if he didn’t want kids… my view is that if you’re not using contraception then you’re trying for a baby!

Sorry, OP. But unless your friend has a learning disability or other clinical vulnerability, I am another one who thinks he made his own bad luck.

If it really is. He might have a hard time articulating anything positive about the situation, but many marriages begin because. of pregnancy have turned out well. I’m not presuming anything in this case.

Yes, I think he and the op have an unhealthy "best friend" relationship. And hes not truthful with her. The dysfunction there is evidenced by her starting this thread, and her narrative on the situation.

An emotionally uninvolved friend wouldn't start the thread and would just think "what a dickhead, he's made his bed" and shake their head.

Are you jealous of the fact he’s having a baby? Lots of people don’t want children but are completely besotted once the child is born. Are you worried that might be him?

This sounds like a soap opera

My theory is that OP made a move on him at one point and he came up with this "not interested in sex" story to put her off! 😅

@pollymere, your whole post is bewildering, but this part takes the cake:

And definitely get a paternity test. You rarely get pregnant after one time (yes, it does happen and I have a DS from it) but the older you get the more unlikely this is.

What does this even mean? Of course you only need to have sex once to get pregnant! How do you think babies are made? If you think it's rare, it may explain why you have a son of your own who was conceived that way!

And anyway, this couple were in a relationship, of course they didn't only have sex once.

I missed @pollymere post. It's as shocking as the OPs. Perhaps you should be friends?

He wasn't raped or forced into anything. He clearly is not asexual.

If you don't want a child as a male there are ways to go about it. Don't have sex or use a condom. Sounds like he is the abusive one also and certainly doesn't act how someone in a relationship should.

I got as far as ‘he believed her when she said the withdrawal method was 99% effective’ and lost all interest!!

He's a grown arsed man who is in a relationship and created a baby and now needs to man the F up to deal with that….

If you believe what he’s telling you more fool you! You are seriously naive to believe everything you’ve written given the situation.

Exactly this.