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Original poster

Well it's happened as predicted and I'm so sad for my lovely friend

412 replies

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:30

My best friend who I've been close to for over twenty years got into a relationship a few years ago.
He was made up as he has very little interest on sex and she accepted it.
He told her from the beginning that he never wanted children and that he probably wouldn't be able to creat a baby such was his disinterest in sex. She told him at the beginning that she wanted children more than anything in the world.
A couple of years passed. He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away. She was always waiting in the wings.
He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite. He said he would never be getting married. Just isnt for him.
I felt he was leading her on a bit and told him so. I also suggested that if she wanted a baby that much that she would make it happen regardless. He said she'd changed her mind and didn't want a baby after all ! He didn't like it and we drifted for a few weeks. That was a few years ago. All perfect since.
I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes as I knew how much she wanted a baby and how much he didn't and Lo and behold she is.
He is shocked. Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective. He doesn't even understand how this happened .
She is now pushing for marriage. He says no way.
I am gutted for him. He looks so blank and pale. I really don't trust her at all.

OP posts:
dikwad · 04/09/2023 20:15

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:49

It's not ok and we did have words. She chose to stay and he chose to stay. That's the bottom line.

He also chose to stick his nob in her without a condom! Doesn't exactly take a genius to work out it what it might result in does it?!

MichelleScarn · 04/09/2023 20:16

Well shock me, shock me shock me!
A fertile man sticking his penis in a fertile woman resulted in a baby?!
But how?!! 🙄🙄

SpamFrittersYouSay · 04/09/2023 20:16

Are you a little bit in love with him?

He actually believed that the withdrawal method was ok???

He chose to have sex with a woman desperate for babies.
He didn't wear a condom.
She got pregnant.
That's how babies are made.
She didn't trick him.
He was an idiot.
He's now a father.
Live with it.

Sunshineclouds11 · 04/09/2023 20:17

Sorry but surely he knows, don't care if he's into sex or not which he clearly is, that the withdrawal method is not 99%, wrap it up.

He doesn't sound a nice person at all tbh.

Your also too invested in this. He done it, he deals with it.

Sazza26xx · 04/09/2023 20:17

Your friend sounds like a prick to be honest

MichelleScarn · 04/09/2023 20:17

Oh and the poor unwitting lamb he is. Boo hoo.

TheaBrandt · 04/09/2023 20:18

Yes a truly heartbreaking situation here Marshy I for one shall be weeping into my pillow for this poor man tonight

Jl2014 · 04/09/2023 20:19

You are being really creepy. It’s none of your business. And if it was - why does the woman get the blame. THEY had unprotected sex. He knows what can happen.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 04/09/2023 20:19

Oh gosh, you are a badly behaved male apologist.... he isn't that lovely, he sounds like a bit of an arse. And it's none of your business. Please don't think that's how men should behave in relationships, you seem to be normalising it.

Spareus · 04/09/2023 20:20

Is he dumb or just a lazy arse who thought he’d leave the contraception up to the woman?

Ap24 · 04/09/2023 20:23

Well I couldn't be a close friend with someone who would treat his girlfriend so badly, let alone someone so dumb as to have unprotected sex and then be shocked they've a baby on the way.

Stop making excuses for him. Unless he has a severely low IQ he's not being taken advantage of.

AnneValentine · 04/09/2023 20:23

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:47

He is my closest friend, that's why I'm upset for him. Would you not be upset for your closest friend if that happened for them, seeing how distraught they are?

Because he could easily have avoided this I suspect.

suburbophobe · 04/09/2023 20:23

He is my closest friend, that's why I'm upset for him. Would you not be upset for your closest friend if that happened for them, seeing how distraught they are?

What's it to do with you? People can say all kinds of shit but maybe he had a deep-seated wish to become a father...

You could always help to baby-sit.

MargotBamborough · 04/09/2023 20:24

You seem very overinvested in this.

The bottom line is that your friend had unprotected sex with his partner who he knew wanted children, and now she is pregnant, which is not remotely surprising given that unprotected sex is how most babies are made.

TheClitterati · 04/09/2023 20:24

Unless she has stolen his sperm from a carelessly discarded condom, and inseminated herself, I really don't see how he can be surprised that having sex lead to a pregnancy.

Men need to learn how to take responsibility for their own contraception, ESPECIALLY those who don't want children.

StephanieSuperpowers · 04/09/2023 20:25

Why oh why do completely predictable things happen to men who are entrapped by scheming women whose indescribable machinations could be completely foiled by doing literally anything that a normal adult would do?

Sensoria · 04/09/2023 20:26

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:47

He is my closest friend, that's why I'm upset for him. Would you not be upset for your closest friend if that happened for them, seeing how distraught they are?

Being close friends means you can call a friend out when they’ve acted shit. Not make excuses for them and feel sorry for them when they’ve been selfish and a shitty person.

TheClitterati · 04/09/2023 20:26

Are you upset that he didn't know enough about contraception to prevent the pregancy he didn't want?

I mean, for a grown man that is pretty ridiculous.

icklehels · 04/09/2023 20:26

How are men still trying to get away with this ‘she tricked me’ crap. He has chosen not to take responsibility in his actions, by what would of taken a 2 minute google to do. It’s lazy at best, and frankly I’m bored of hearing this ‘woe is me’ line over and over.

rainbowsparkle28 · 04/09/2023 20:27

He doesn't sound like a particularly great partner anyway even before recent events and screams commitment phobe man childHmm

But equally, as a grown adult he took no responsibility himself for avoiding this situation if he really didn't want children. No sympathy there he only has himself to blame. And also, how on earth does this have anything to do with you, it is between them as two adults?!

Nosleepforthismum · 04/09/2023 20:27

Honestly OP, I know PP’s are taking the piss but he must have done a right number on you! If any of my male friends told me they were distraught because the withdrawal method wasn’t a reliable form of contraception (shocker) and their partner was now pregnant, they would be told to get a grip and that they needed to step up for this innocent baby that deserves to have decent parents in its life. He can’t have been that against having kids. Did he never have to put the condom on a banana at school?

Clymene · 04/09/2023 20:29

If he doesn't want kids and has sex with women he needs to be responsible for contraception. He wasn't and the inevitable had happened.

What a stupid man.

Lovemusic82 · 04/09/2023 20:29

If he didn’t want kids then he should have used contraception or had the snip. Most men I have met that don’t want kids have been and had the snip to make sure it never happens. If he’s stupid enough to not know the withdrawal method isn’t 100% then that’s his fault. He wasn’t tricked into getting her pregnant, he knew the risk just as much as she did (or he should have if he had half a brain cell). I feel sorry for her, chances are she will have to raise the child alone but that’s probably the best option rather than raising it with someone who never really wanted to commit to her anyway.

LizzieSiddal · 04/09/2023 20:29

If he didn’t want a child it was his responsibility to make sure it didn’t happen. Either by not having sex or by using a condom or getting a vasectomy.

Blaming the woman here is blatant misogyny.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/09/2023 20:30

You don’t have to be interested in sex to get someone pregnant, you just have to have sex, once will do it.

Men who don’t want children have vasectomies, I know several men who’ve had them to ensure they remain childfree. Free on the NHS with a couple of months waiting time.

He’s not lovely. By your own admission he’s cowardly, selfish, immature and completely devoid of basic knowledge.

Not sure what your deal is tbh but you come across oddly.