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Original poster

Well it's happened as predicted and I'm so sad for my lovely friend

412 replies

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:30

My best friend who I've been close to for over twenty years got into a relationship a few years ago.
He was made up as he has very little interest on sex and she accepted it.
He told her from the beginning that he never wanted children and that he probably wouldn't be able to creat a baby such was his disinterest in sex. She told him at the beginning that she wanted children more than anything in the world.
A couple of years passed. He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away. She was always waiting in the wings.
He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite. He said he would never be getting married. Just isnt for him.
I felt he was leading her on a bit and told him so. I also suggested that if she wanted a baby that much that she would make it happen regardless. He said she'd changed her mind and didn't want a baby after all ! He didn't like it and we drifted for a few weeks. That was a few years ago. All perfect since.
I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes as I knew how much she wanted a baby and how much he didn't and Lo and behold she is.
He is shocked. Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective. He doesn't even understand how this happened .
She is now pushing for marriage. He says no way.
I am gutted for him. He looks so blank and pale. I really don't trust her at all.

OP posts:
Riverlee · 04/09/2023 19:51

Incidently, you say he’s your best friend. Are you jealous of the gf?

lapsedbookworm · 04/09/2023 19:51

BeeBelle16 · 04/09/2023 19:49

Ha! NO! I'd say bloody hell mate did you not think to wear a jonny!

Quite.

CapEBarra · 04/09/2023 19:51

Man has unprotected sex with his long term partner and expresses surprise when she gets pregnant? I’m not sure he’s telling you the whole truth. Sounds like he’s perfectly happy to have sex and not use contraception even though he must be fully aware of the consequences. His relationship with his partner is really nothing to do with you. His primary relationship is with her, and regardless of what he’s telling you he knowingly took the risk. A man who is asexual and absolutely doesn't want children would not find himself in this position.

Ladyj84 · 04/09/2023 19:51

How has he lead her on he clearly said he didn't want children and she said she did so it's her leading him on when she should never have got with him as clearly it meant something to her and not him. It's disgusting behaviour of her to basically trick him into this

WhineyVaginey · 04/09/2023 19:51

You're upset because your friend is upset because he's been having sex & now a woman is pregnant?

Get THE ABSOLUTE FUCK OUT OF HERE - this has to be a wind up😂

Changingmymind66 · 04/09/2023 19:53

fandom · 04/09/2023 19:47

He is my closest friend, that's why I'm upset for him. Would you not be upset for your closest friend if that happened for them, seeing how distraught they are?

I wouldn't be particularly upset for my best friend at all. I believe my job as a friend would be to listen, support and not judge. It would be their life, their choices. These sort of things happen all the time. I'd be more worried for his partner who is likely to have to be a single parent. Your posts come across a little "I told you so". Everyone has friends that make mistakes. It's human nature.

itsgettingweird · 04/09/2023 19:54

Man gets woman pregnant in no contraception shocker!!!

This is probably all that can and needs to be said. 🤷‍♀️

CapEBarra · 04/09/2023 19:54

Oh come on - you’re making him out to be some sort of half wit. Presumably he loves this woman or he wouldn’t have been with her for so long. She couldn’t have trapped him if he didn’t want to be trapped. Do you fancy him? Your reaction is very extreme for someone who is just a friend.

Sensoria · 04/09/2023 19:55

Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective

Sorry, just so I’m clear, are you saying your friend knows nothing about sex and contraception so she took advantage of that and led him on?

Or perhaps he knew very well sex can lead to pregnancy and he was happy to have sex without a condom and without taking any responsibility for preventing pregnancy?

It’s him I wouldn’t trust. He doesn’t sound like a lovely guy at all. Why are you blaming her for his actions?

Buildingthefuture · 04/09/2023 19:55

But nothing has “happened” to him? He had unprotected sex with a woman, by choice. Even if he had only the most rudimentary understanding of biology, he knew that her getting pregnant was a possibility? And now she has. And you are upset for him? I don’t get it……

CuteCillian · 04/09/2023 19:55

This will probably be the making of him.
You sound over invested.

Sensoria · 04/09/2023 19:56

Ladyj84 · 04/09/2023 19:51

How has he lead her on he clearly said he didn't want children and she said she did so it's her leading him on when she should never have got with him as clearly it meant something to her and not him. It's disgusting behaviour of her to basically trick him into this

So what did he do to prevent pregnancy?

Original poster
fandom · 04/09/2023 19:56

Was wondering when the jealousy question would be asked.
He is my closest friend who happens to be male and there has never been anything only a platonic and caring friendship between us.
Hope that clears that up.

OP posts:
Sensoria · 04/09/2023 19:57

Why are you blaming her? Did she rape him? Force him to have sex without a condom?

Thisisworsethananticpated · 04/09/2023 19:57

Sorry - what the hell has this got to do with you ?

im afraid this sentiment sums it up

PeanutContinuum · 04/09/2023 19:58

I feel for the woman. If he relied on withdrawal then she hasn’t tricked him into anything.

Your friend sounds like a stupid and irresponsible twat though.

purplecorkheart · 04/09/2023 19:58

If he didn't want her to get pregnant why the hell did he not get a vasectomy? By the sounds of thing he was told that the withdrawal method was not 100% effective. He knew he was taking a risk even if the withdrawal method was 99% effective.

I bet he is a cocklodger and she does everything. Hopefully, she will dump him and raise their child herself. He doesn't sound like a good dad material and she makes certain he pays every penny of child maintenance he should. Also sadly I bet he will quit his job when the baby is born so he wouldn't have to pay.

fruitstick · 04/09/2023 19:58

I don't understand the tricking part. How has this girl tricked him? She hasn't lied.

How does he not know about contraception? Why wasn't he wearing a condom for STD reasons?

I bet he is distraught, because most people are when an unexpected pregnancy happens.

But to say he was tricked and you don't trust his girlfriend is very strange.

PinkDaffodil2 · 04/09/2023 20:00

I don’t follow - she always said she wanted a baby, she didn’t lie about being on contraception. He didn’t get a vasectomy or wear a condom, they had sex - shocker! He hasn’t ‘fallen for’ anything. He’s treated her terribly I hope he is a better father than partner.

Original poster
fandom · 04/09/2023 20:00

purplecorkheart · 04/09/2023 19:58

If he didn't want her to get pregnant why the hell did he not get a vasectomy? By the sounds of thing he was told that the withdrawal method was not 100% effective. He knew he was taking a risk even if the withdrawal method was 99% effective.

I bet he is a cocklodger and she does everything. Hopefully, she will dump him and raise their child herself. He doesn't sound like a good dad material and she makes certain he pays every penny of child maintenance he should. Also sadly I bet he will quit his job when the baby is born so he wouldn't have to pay.

WTF have I just read Shock

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 04/09/2023 20:00

I’d be sad too if it became apparent that any of my friends were this stupid!

DontLeanOnTheKeyboard · 04/09/2023 20:00

Nothing ‘happened to him’. He chose to have sex with a woman that might be fertile. I feel more sorry for her, staying with this selfish man child.

Iwasafool · 04/09/2023 20:01

Well he's going to be a dad, maybe the idea will grow on him, maybe he will love the baby when it is born but whatever else happens he now has to man up and support his child. Are they going to stay together?

fruitstick · 04/09/2023 20:03

He doesn't sound very 'lovely' to be honest. And clearly they have been in a relationship for years.

I don't see an issue here.

Also, what's with the 'he is wealthy from a loving family and she is the opposite'

You don't sound very 'lovely' either

Gymmum82 · 04/09/2023 20:03

Not if they’d been ridiculously stupid and careless no