Well it's happened as predicted and I'm so sad for my lovely friend

[fandom]

My best friend who I've been close to for over twenty years got into a relationship a few years ago.
He was made up as he has very little interest on sex and she accepted it.
He told her from the beginning that he never wanted children and that he probably wouldn't be able to creat a baby such was his disinterest in sex. She told him at the beginning that she wanted children more than anything in the world.
A couple of years passed. He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away. She was always waiting in the wings.
He is wealthy and comes from a loving and close family . She is the opposite. He said he would never be getting married. Just isnt for him.
I felt he was leading her on a bit and told him so. I also suggested that if she wanted a baby that much that she would make it happen regardless. He said she'd changed her mind and didn't want a baby after all ! He didn't like it and we drifted for a few weeks. That was a few years ago. All perfect since.
I was always worried that she would get pregnant against his expressed wishes as I knew how much she wanted a baby and how much he didn't and Lo and behold she is.
He is shocked. Idiot fell for the withdrawal method that she told him was 99% effective. He doesn't even understand how this happened .
She is now pushing for marriage. He says no way.
I am gutted for him. He looks so blank and pale. I really don't trust her at all.

He is a muppet for not sorting his own contraception

I dont want more kids so always use condoms, even though my partner has her own contraception
he doesnt have marry her or even stay with her

Your friend is a premium muppet. Determined not to have a child, yet didn’t stick anything on it and is now upset that shock horror wannabe mother has gotten pregnant?!
He needs to get his head out of his arse and step up to the consequences of his foolish actions.

OP, if this is for real, you're an enabler. You're infantilising your friend. How on Earth can a man who doesn't have learning disabilies fail to understand how the withdrawal method resulted in pregnancy?

I'm not surprised he looks "blank", he's got nothing between his ears.

He certainly wasn’t shooting blanks!!!

This cant be true. Surely you would know this lady as well as you know your friend. Having sex without birth control even when withdrawing equals pregnancy. Otherwise no one would need birth control because we would all use the withdrawal method.

This is insane. He had sex without contraception but somehow this is her fault and he’s been tricked somehow. How are you supporting this narrative op?

😂 quite.

I have no sympathy for men who don't use condoms when they don't want a baby.

He should've broken up with her years ago and not been stupid about contraception tbh. He's done it to himself.

However, she should also have left. It wasn't what she wanted and he probably still won't marry her.

🤣🤣👏👏👏

@blackpooolrock 😂

He does not want kids, but he did not have a vasectomy, nor use birth control? More fool him!

Pretty much lost all sympathy at He continued to live like a man with no commitments .. constant nights out, holidays and weekends away.
And he’s an idiot if he really thought the withdrawal method would work.

Wait… so you feel sorry for the ‘asexual’ but clearly sexual, man. But not the poor woman he’s strung along for years? 🫠

My thoughts exactly. The OP calls him an idiot.....well she's not wrong there, but not for the reason she thinks.

So reading between the lines, you have always secretly imagined you might end up together one day and now that dream is shattered? I should imagine he is as aware of the reliability of contraception methods as she is.

Choose your best friend more carefully 😆

I’m having a difficult time sympathizing with any of the 3 adult people in this scenario.

There seems to be a triangle going on with the Op inserting herself, where she is clearly not wanted by either party, into another couple’s relationship, a relationship which is none of her business. I suggest she take up a hobby unrelated to her ‘best platonic male friend’ for whom she is ‘devastated’.

As for the couple, I find myself not caring about them either. I hope the baby is properly cared for and loved.

Hmm. An asexual man, with very little interest in sex, who says he can’t create a baby because of his extreme dislike of sex, has somehow impregnated a woman, his long time girlfriend, presumably via SEX.

Both he and his best platonic female friend who is devastated for him are baffled and bamboozled. How did this happen, they ask?

LOL.

I find myself rooting for the pregnant girlfriend. Hoping she takes every penny of his wealth she is entitled to.

He sounds as though he has been taking advantage of a woman who is quite needy, I don't have any sympathy for him. What sort of person doesn't use contraception , but doesn't want to be a parent? What sort of person keeps another 'waiting in the wings', while he is Jack the lad just enjoying himself? I could tell you , but I don't think you would like it.
And I hope he has to pay lots of maintenance.

Absolutely agree - he made it plain to her he didnt want any - so the onus is basically on her. I know that on any thread where a woman has gotten herself pregnant without having agreed it first with the man - and then proceeds to have and keep the child that most of the people that reply will be women. Most of them will reply as a "woman", rather than as a "person" iyswim. I've watched it happen so many times on so many threads on so many forums - and most women act like women (rather than a fair-minded person) and won't see the mans pov at all and they do a pile-on against him. I'm a woman - but I do know for a child to be conceived both people involved should agree to it - and it should not be a unilateral decision by the woman. I expect he'll learn to be a lot more cynical now about just how determined some women can be to get their own way that they will pull that stunt on an unwary man. Very very obviously indeed he must NOT marry her - as she's clearly proven herself untrustworthy already and that is no basis for a marriage and there's every chance she'd pull that stunt again (ie to get another child that he hadnt agreed to).

I think he sounds like a selfish pig. A player. She is just wanting to have a child and marry the guy she loves and has been with a long time. I bet she does loads for him and he just lives the single life. Weird conversation about sex you’re having with him about him and her????. Maybe he never loved her??? Then why stay. Well she’s having the baby. Maybe he will change. Surely you can only hope for that for him and her. How can you feel sorry for him??? I bet she never agreed never to have children. He probably just assumed that. Well if he is talking to you with all this negative stuff about her, she should have the baby and just get on with it. He will stay or go. None of your business. Im thinking you’re slightly jealous of their relationship. Albeit none of the relationships sound healthy.

This whole scenario is bizarre. Your “lovely” friend sounds selfish. He has “no interest in sex” yet managed to get someone pregnant. If he was that against becoming a father then condoms are widely available. I also don’t understand why the girlfriend stayed with him knowing he didn’t want kids and she did…..but that’s besides the point. Don’t be sad for him. He’s learnt a valuable life lesson here and one he should have learnt, presumably, decades ago in sex ed class.

No. I wouldn't.

Because he is presumably old enough to understand how babies are made and what it requires to prevent babies being made. Happily carrying on having unprotected sex is idiotic.

He is zero right to be distraught. He has every right to realise he's a complete and utter selfish idiot who put his sexual pleasure before ensuring he didn't bring an unwanted child into the world.

BTW, the onus is on the person who doesn't want to be a parent to use contraception.