Would You Leave If BF Called You A C**t

[Allycat78]

i want to start this thread to see what you ladies out there think. I’m divorced. My 2 sons are adults. Im 45, been seeing a guy for 18 months. Started off great as all relationships do. I haven’t moved in. Stay in my own place but see each other regularly. As time has gone on I’ve noticed him increasingly impatient with me and life in general. Maybe he just hid it at first. Never been violent or I’d be gone but he can get very angry verbally and mood swings. He never sees his fault in anything and when we have a tiff, he says it’s my fault because I piss him off and need to make more effort to not annoy him.
He’s been throwing in names and slurs when angry more recently and telling me to fuck off and name calling. Says things like ‘are you fucking stupid’ and ‘stop being a cunt.’
i know im far from perfect but I’ve never sworn at him or used this type of derogatory speech to him. He shouts. I don’t raise my voice.
Either im a terrible girlfriend for making him so mad or this is a relationship I need to end. Thoughts please.

Definitely cannot manage a hot/cold relationship where it’s push and pull. I’ve got my faults and I know I can create problems however I never give silent treatment or withhold affection or go distant. I show the same attention and love consistently. When someone’s up and down it leads to insecurity and unhappiness

I'd bet money that when you speak to him, if he gets angry he'll make it all your fault.

Oh hell no. Run girl, run for the hills.

100% correct. I did have the conversation and was yelled at and called all the names under the sun

Well done OP!

Well done, put him firmly in your rear view. You deserve a hell of a lot better.

So glad you have got out / ended it - your ex-partner is very abusive.

He said I’m stupid because everything is in my head. I’m breaking up a relationship based on my ‘perception’ of what I see as problems in the relationship and his speech/behaviour. I should seek therapy to help realign my cognitive functioning apparently because with my imaginary problems and negative narrative I create - I will destroy every relationship and push everyone away. He also says there’s 2 sides to everything which I agree and that I must look at all the things I do wrong instead of blaming him.

Jeezo, you're well rid @Allycat78 me thinks he's the one who needs therapy to 'realign his cognitive functioning'

Bloody hell. Thank god you hadn't moved in and given up your own place for this prince!

Do you need to ask? 🙄

Im very grateful too!
oddly enough he tells me my ex husband is a narcissist yet he cannot find fault with himself

Behaving like a cunt is far worse than being called a cunt for behaving like one.

I'm not saying you behaved badly OP. I am just frustrated at the number of posts that elevate name calling into an unforgivable marital sin.

He sounds horrific.

I hope you have blocked him.

Well done Op! What a tosser he sounds, puffed up with his own self importance. Fuck him and his armchair psychology.

100% end it!

I don’t believe I’ve acted like a c**t because I’ve not sworn at him. Not shouted. Never seen me drunk and disorderly. Work hard. Not into drugs. When I’m at his house I help, not lazy or untidy. I pay my way. I don’t cheat. I listen when he talks and try show interest in his work and even sports he watches. I give him space when he needs it. My sons where I get called names seem to be when I bring up the topic of why he’s withdrawing and acting distant or going cold and not affectionate. Or because I don’t do something he demands I do such as move in with him or he doesn’t want me being friends with certain people or anything that I do that’s opposite to what he tells me to do.

Getting angry and venting happens. But if it happens regularly, escalates, no apologies ever - it’s clear a relationship is wrong.

Well done OP. Block him and move on with a happy life x

Lol, worra cock.🙄yeah you're well rid. Pity his next relationship me like.

What are your 'faults' according to this charmer ?
Not doing what he says ?
Does he know that respect is earned ?

by behaving like this he just further confirmed you made the right decision!

I don’t listen properly because I might forget something he said just 24 hours before or I don’t respond quick enough to a question he’s asked so he hates dead air. I keep helping people out with little things like a few elderly people I know I’ll run errands for and he hates it. I won’t give up a female friend I’ve known 12 years and he hates her. I dislike handbags so I tend to misplace my phone and car keys despite being told by him to use a bag. I don’t make his cuppas right - very annoying as how hard can it be. I give too much of myself at work because sometimes I work a little bit overtime for no extra pay but I have pride in my work and other colleagues work hard too. I refuse to give up sugar altogether like he has and sinfully eat some chocolate or something sweet now and then.
Theres a long list. Most of what I say and do is wrong. And then of course the big things like being too needy and clingy apparently because I want a bit of physical affection. Irritating him by asking why he’s moody or withdrawn. Not knowing when to shut the f**k up when he’s tired and doesn’t want to be spoken to or engage in conversation especially if it’s relating to relationship concerns.

OP, kindly meant but you really need to look at your self esteem if you cannot see how utterly dreadful his behaviour and treatment of you is.

He is one ugly, nasty abusive man.

That you would want to be anywhere near him and not realise how not normal his behaviour was, is really sad.

Look up the "boiled frog analogy" and do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk because you really need to up your standards of what acceptable behaviour is.

He is so ugly.

I have ended the relationship. I was asked what things I was doing wrong in his opinion and I gave a summary of what he reckoned I was doing wrong as well as things he said to me when angry