I feel like I’m with a monster

[Imdone1]

Please don’t judge me, I know what he is and I am going to make plans to leave him. He was nothing like this when I first met him, if I knew he had this in him I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near him.

We have 2 DC. DS1 is 7 and DS2 is 2.5. We suspect DS2 is autistic and have been told to expect a diagnosis for him in the future.

Long story short, he (not calling him dp) was upstairs getting changed from his work uniform into his football kit. Surely this takes like 5 minutes max? But no, he was still upstairs 25 minutes later. This is nothing new, I am used to him taking the piss. After coming into the living room from making the kids tea, I see that DS2 has broken the lamp. I shout up to DP to tell him, he comes running down the stairs, hits DS2 on the bum that hard he goes flying. Then he starts screaming at me saying it’s my fault for not watching him. But how can I when the kids wanted their tea? I told him I can’t be in two places at once and that if he wasn’t sitting upstairs on his phone he could have been watching dc and the lamp wouldn’t have been broken.

He left for football around half an hour ago and I told him not to come back. He texted me 10 minutes ago saying he feels horrible but he’s stressed and things shouldn’t be broken. I have the kids 24/7, I’m stressed too but I’ve never reacted like that. And things shouldn’t be broken no but try teaching that to a child who can’t communicate.

I have seen another side to him tonight that I hate. How dare he act how he did😞

This, in spades.

It's truly shocking that so many people have blamed the OP for her husband's inability to control his vile temper.

Fuck me, did someone leave the gate of the cunt farm open again?

I think I'm slowly becoming more and more done with mumsnet. I first joined up on the suggestion of my GP when I was expecting in 2011, and found it to be a spot of intelligent, independent women who valued themselves and I loved the way that they took no shit from men compared to other glitter-ticker type forums.

Now it's almost wall to wall handmaidens twisting themselves into knots to find any convoluted reason why it's the Womans Fault. And turn like a bag of rats on the increasingly fewer voices of reason who refuse to accept the shit behaviour of some men.

OP, I am glad that you are going to your mums and that you are instigating leaving him. I hope this is the first step to a brighter and better life for you and your DCs.

Yes really finding this too. So many threads now, just attacking the posters parenting skills or whatever they did really viciously.

Getting a real issue imo. I'd sooner get Donald trumps advice than some of the asshats on here lately.

Honestly, this thread has taken a completely bizarre turn. I hope you're OK, OP, and despite the deeply ingrained societal belief that a woman's place is in the wrong, you are categorically not. This is all, absolutely all, on your 'D'P.

I’m at my mums now with dc and we’re staying over tonight then taking things from there. Not sure how it’s all going to work out at the moment but one things for sure, the relationship is over.

Thanks again to those who have been nice and supportive, I have really appreciated it

Well done @Imdone1 - tough times ahead for sure, but it will get better, and you've made the right decision for sure, for you and your DC.

Yeay. Good on you OP

I wouldn't be too sure that it is women who are posting the all shitty replies.

Well done OP for sticking to your decision. You've done the right thing, where so many people wouldn't have.

Well done, that’s the hardest part and your DC is young enough to be unaffected by the separation and hopefully will not remember their dad being a complete dick. Supervised contact only from now on, and make sure you report your concerns to your GP or someone official.

Well done OP. It’s not easy but you’ve completely done the right thing and please ignore all of the nonsense on this thread. There are some worrying views on here I thought we were in 2023!!

Please do make sure that you log this with the police as this will need to be taken into account for future childcare arrangements.

I'm really glad you're safe. Well done for taking steps today, this must feel horrendous for you.

You're amazing OP, you don't have to read this board long to see how few people take quick and decisive action in cases like these. You've been very brave, and your children are so lucky you're their mum. You've got this.

True @MorvernBlack very true.

Wish something could be done about it.

@FrogandToadAreFriends Your words mean a lot when in a situation like this so thank you🥹

How are you doing OP?

@Soloparenthelp Hi, we’re all fine. He’s moved out now and the relief is huge. Thank you for asking

Poor you and little one. My grandson is autistic too, doesn't understand dome things, danger being one. Apologies after the act? Not good enough. You also cannot leave little one with dad now after this. It probably is planned by your OH so hes not asked to do anything. Do you go anywhere alone?. Theres benefits you can apply for, try dla too for DC , autism is recognized as a disability. Id get rid of OH. its damaging for you and your children xx

Sorry didn't see this. Good luck OP. you did the right thing xx

Why didn't you call the police immediately? Protect your child.
Get some cameras and put them up round your house.

What are you going to do about custody? If the police weren't called you don't have a leg to stand on.

Op. I strongly advise you to report to the police.

What I am reading here with some of the male apologists? He HIT a two year old.

I know this is a couple of months old now but I’ve been thinking about this thread on and off. How are things now op? (If she even sees this)