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Original poster

How many times would you get married?

195 replies

BetteDavisEyes11 · 29/08/2023 10:41

I have been married twice, once very young and second time has lasted 10 years.

my mum has a very strong view that I should now not commit to anyone else or ever get married again.

Shes been married to my dad for 48 years.

I understand her perspective, but also she has never been in my position. I don’t believe marriage is a must for a serious relationship, however if I were to meet someone and wanted to marry again I wouldn’t want to be restricted or frowned upon for doing so.

OP posts:
Anoushkaka · 29/08/2023 13:44

For me once. 42 and married 16 years, together 24. Would have no interest in remarrying if anything happened between myself and DH.

I wanted to be married before having children, not planning anymore kids so don't see the point of remarriage.

Ex SIL is on her fourth marriage, she's 49. Won't be her last either.

ButterflyBitch · 29/08/2023 13:48

BeReet · 29/08/2023 10:47

Once. I am married atm, but should anything alter that, then I would never want to share my space with a man on a permanent basis ever again.

This. I am married but if we ever split up, I am done with men and would not want to share space with them again. I do not believe I would ever meet a man who could change my mind.

Zeppel · 29/08/2023 13:51

Twice for me.
I widowed very young through an accident and have been fortunate to meet/marry my second husband. I wouldn't marry again.

TheBrightestStarInTheSky · 29/08/2023 13:53

Happily married 20 yrs, widowed, happily single 10 years.
I am happy living alone in my 50s. It suits me at this stage of life.

LunaNorth · 29/08/2023 13:53

ShippingNews · 29/08/2023 11:14

I've been married twice - wouldn't do it again though. I'm my DH's third wife .

Snap.

MariaPurito · 29/08/2023 13:54

Moveoverdarlin · 29/08/2023 13:37

Once. I’ve got to go to a friends third wedding next week (she’s just turned 41) and I think it makes a mockery of the whole thing. I’ve still got the outfit from her last wedding, been on yet another hen do…buy a few more vouchers, sit at the same table as we did the last time.

Why a mockery and why attend?

Tiddlywinks63 · 29/08/2023 13:58

Married nearly 46 years, I would never live with or marry another man.

Spendonsend · 29/08/2023 14:01

I reckon i wouldnt marry if joint children werent on the cards. So for me once as i married, had children and wont be having more. So if we divorce or Im a widow, im not up for marrying again.

Others have different lives.

IsItThough · 29/08/2023 14:02

For me, once is enough (and I whilst we are happy and I am totally committed, I wasn't that fussed about marriage in the first place)

On this though, as on many other things - to each their own. People should get married as often as they feel they must, so long as they do so in good faith.

PollyDarton1 · 29/08/2023 14:05

I've never been married (38) but been engaged twice, very nearly married DS's dad - there was 18 years between the two engagements. He's been engaged 3 times in 10 years, now finally marrying (for the first time) his third (I was the second) and this will be her second marriage.

I think at my age, if I'm marrying, I'm marrying once and never again. My relationship with DS's dad was for all purposes a marriage in that it was a long term, committed relationship that was hard to untangle when we spilt. I feel like I have it in me to get married and share my life with someone at the same level I did with my ex, but if that didn't work out for whatever reason, I would be happy single. I've been with my current partner for a little while, but no general intentions on marriage - it would also be his first.

Loafbeginsat60 · 29/08/2023 14:05

I've done it twice and wouldn't do it again if anything happened to dh.

In fact I don't think I would date again either. I'm 43 and would prefer to be on my own

RantyAnty · 29/08/2023 14:15

I think we ignore the reality that marriage offers very little benefit for women and a whole lot of extra work and stress.

It's not like men are even providers anymore.

I have 2 marriages. 1st widowed very young, 2nd divorced.
Because of social conditioning, it took me far too long to understand reality of marriage.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 29/08/2023 14:23

My first marriage lasted 25 years but there was rape, control and sexual abuse in that marriage. My second marriage lasted 9 months, we were very happy together and I have now been a widow for 18 months. I miss everything about him and I can't see myself ever dating again.

mydogisthebest · 29/08/2023 14:24

Once. We have been married 43 years and if anything happened to DH I would not marry again.

I can understand 2 marriages but any more than that I find strange. Neighbours have both been married 3 times before. Just why would you keep marrying if none of them work? Also makes a mockery of marriage

theemmadilemma · 29/08/2023 14:35

I'm on my second marriage. Tbh we only married after a long time together because of the inheritance tax implications of not being married. It would put either of us in a difficult situation and we wanted to avoid that.

I think there's a point at which you become so financially intertwined, it's often easier to be married to avoid many of the cost implications of not being married.

Lili132 · 29/08/2023 14:39

RaininSummer · 29/08/2023 12:48

I would think with two unsuccessful marriages it's time to knock it on the head.

Why? Why is it OK to have very committed relationship for 12 years and then go on to have another one or marriage but once you have that legal contract then that's it, even if it was very short lived mistake?

I would not advice anyone to rush into marriage but long term it has lots of benefits (and risks) and it's totally up to two people involved to decide if it's something they want/need.

I would never ever base such important life decisions on what other people think or consider acceptable, even if it was my own mum.

OP you will end up miserable and resentful unless you take control of your life and do what's best for you and your own situation. Other people have different experience, different perspective etc.

occa · 29/08/2023 14:42

Zero. It's not for me.

Liv999 · 29/08/2023 14:48

Twice, if my second marriage failed I wouldn't bother a third time

RisingSunn · 29/08/2023 14:50

One and done.

ŁadnaPogoda · 29/08/2023 14:51

Once is enough. Next time I’m going for a hot young tomboy with lots of stamina and no commitment.

purplebluediscorain · 29/08/2023 14:51

I’m not married but I’d only want to do it once. I couldn’t imagine it and same as others there’s no way I’d want to share my space or my daughters space fully with anyone but her dad.

TotalOverhaul · 29/08/2023 14:53

Ideally once. But if DH died or ran off with someone else, I might possibly maybe marry someone else if I was 100% certain we could love each other until our lives were over. Otherwise, think I'd relish being single.

Deadringer · 29/08/2023 14:55

Once. I am married a long time but if we split up I would have no interest in getting married again. If I was younger and considering have more dc maybe, but just not something I feel I would ever do again. I don't think I would live with someone either, I think us both having our own homes would work better for me.

NewLifeHappyLife · 29/08/2023 14:56

Interesting question. I think I hit the jackpot with dh although of course we have issues now and then. But he is close to 25 years older than me and all things being equal will die before me although tng he is in better shape than I am. But we have a disabled child and I would need to wrap up all the finances hard if I married agin as ds will need support all his life and I would not wish to leave anything to chance with a subsequent marriage

NewLifeHappyLife · 29/08/2023 14:57

Ratfinkstinkypink · 29/08/2023 14:23

My first marriage lasted 25 years but there was rape, control and sexual abuse in that marriage. My second marriage lasted 9 months, we were very happy together and I have now been a widow for 18 months. I miss everything about him and I can't see myself ever dating again.

I am so sorry❤️🌷