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Original poster

How many times would you get married?

195 replies

BetteDavisEyes11 · 29/08/2023 10:41

I have been married twice, once very young and second time has lasted 10 years.

my mum has a very strong view that I should now not commit to anyone else or ever get married again.

Shes been married to my dad for 48 years.

I understand her perspective, but also she has never been in my position. I don’t believe marriage is a must for a serious relationship, however if I were to meet someone and wanted to marry again I wouldn’t want to be restricted or frowned upon for doing so.

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 29/08/2023 11:41

Once for me. I've been happily married for 20 years. If I found myself single for whatever reason, I wouldn't be looking for another relationship, never mind another marriage.

nex18 · 29/08/2023 11:43

My marriage history is similar to yours OP. I doubt I’ll get married again, I don’t think being married added anything to either relationship (except hassle of getting divorced).

Pebblepaint · 29/08/2023 11:45

I was married for 30 years until DH died.

I think it was a necessary thing while we were raising children and I wouldn't advise any young woman to have DC with a man who won't marry her, but I'll never marry again, mostly because of the financial implications for me and my children.

Roussette · 29/08/2023 11:47

I know of someone married seven times. She had one son, who dated my DD. He was the result of marriage no. 2 so saw another 5 'Dads' come in and out of his life.
She is on her own now. So seven failed marriages.
Thank god the son is now an ex of my DD. He was a serial philanderer (hardly a surprise...) and broke her heart.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 29/08/2023 11:50

Zero. I don’t think halving my assets multiple times over a lifetime is a wise financial decision, and repeatedly promising to spend the rest of your life with someone, and then not doing that, make the promises irrelevant/insincere.

BranchGold · 29/08/2023 11:51

Do you have children?

thinking on it, I think 3 is about the limit before you sort of say ‘this isn’t really for me.’ And that’s if I’m your circumstances, you’d been in a very long term relationship and married more for the legal/inheritance tax purposes.

BackToOklahoma · 29/08/2023 11:54

Zero. I’ve been with my partner a long time and there’s no reason for us to marry. I never wanted to, he wasn’t bothered, so we didn’t.

Themosswidow · 29/08/2023 11:55

Marriage is a financial contract and divorce is expensive. Don't get married but maintain your financial independence is now my advice.

Capitulatingpanda · 29/08/2023 11:56

Once. If my marriage ended I don't think I'd marry a second time.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 29/08/2023 11:59

Two.Im in my second marriage now and if God forbid anything goes wrong I'll never marry again.

Berlinlover · 29/08/2023 12:02

Never.

MrsMoastyToasty · 29/08/2023 12:04

I would only marry once. I'd still have relationships if we divorced/he died but I wouldn't marry again.

I do know of a couple of cases where a couple has divorced, got back together and married the same person again.

GarlicGrace · 29/08/2023 12:14

You mum sounds bonkers. She pressed you to marry young, and now declares you mustn't marry a third time. She seems to be a bit confused between marriages and rich desserts: one is lovely; two's greedy; three will make you sick 😆

I hope you'd analyse the practical implications before getting hitched again but, all being good, why not? I'm never doing it again. I'll have an extra dessert, though!

Globules · 29/08/2023 12:15

Honestly not sure. Maybe twice is enough for me?

I've had a 20 yr marriage. Very much enjoying not having a man in my home.

Previous partner post divorce, I could have married and put up with living with him.

Current partner never has been married and never wants to, as he doesn't want to lose his mortgage free home. Wouldn't want to marry him, or live with him.

So I'm open to a second marriage, but not determined to. I think it makes a big difference that my children are nearly flying the nest now as to how I think about it.

I recall listening to a group of 50 something women chatting in a pub a few months back. All were saying how they were loving life not having a man living in their home. One woman's partner lived 3 doors down from her and she said she's had to speak to him about coming round to hers too much, as she just wants her space!

JimnJoyce · 29/08/2023 12:16

both my sister and a friend are on their 3 marriages

WombatBombat · 29/08/2023 12:18

Married (first marriage) and now that I have a child, I wouldn’t get married again.

I also have a good job & savings so would want to ensure that is protected for me & my child

thdskdrggs · 29/08/2023 12:18

People should marry as many times as they want, no skin off anyone's nose, assuming it's not financially ruinous for them.

I will only ever have children with one person though, that's my red line.

EvelynKatie · 29/08/2023 12:21

I'm on my 2nd marriage. My first ended before children, now I'm married again because we're planning on DC, and so the legality side of being married is very important to me. Particularly as lessons learned from 1st marriage when he left me for OW... under no illusions you can guarantee this would never happen no matter how much you think your trust your OH. Therefore want to ensure security when DC are involved.
If in future I was in new relationship and I had my DC from a previous marriage, I wouldn't bother getting married a third time.

Ponderingwindow · 29/08/2023 12:22

my husband is my second marriage. It is the only marriage with a child. thankfully there were no children from my first marriage.

I can’t see a scenario where I would marry again. Marriage creates financial obligations and my primary financial obligation is now to my child. Even once she is an adult, I will want to protect any potential inheritance. Marriage makes that complicated.

so while I might have another relationship some day if something happens to my husband, I don’t see marriage or likely even full cohabitation as appropriate.

CatusFlatus · 29/08/2023 12:26

Personal choice, there's no right answer. Two previous marriages each for me and my partner. We're late 50s. Recently registered a civil partnership for inheritance tax reasons to benefit our respective children. Pensions are a consideration for some. Most civil partnerships are between couples over 55 for these reasons.

GreyCarpet · 29/08/2023 12:32

I have been married once. It ended 11 years ago.

I would marry again but only once. If that didn't work out, I wouldn't marry a third time.

Similarly, I'd be a second wife but I wouldn't be a third or more.

Toughsteak · 29/08/2023 12:34

If DS was to leave or pass away I would not marry again

kittycat265 · 29/08/2023 12:35

0 times.

caramacyears · 29/08/2023 12:36

Two marriages have completely finished me off, so no more, ever.

Floofydawg · 29/08/2023 12:41

BetteDavisEyes11 · 29/08/2023 11:05

It’s in an interesting one … my first marriage was sort of driven by my mum, she got married at 17 so when I met someone at 16 she pretty much encouraged us to marry which we did at 20.

Second time he was abusive and ended up cheating.

So guess I don’t feel either we’re ideal!

If your mum pushed you into it the first time and now she's sitting in judgement of you then I think that's really unfair. Deciding to marry the person you met at 16 is so young.

I'm on my second marriage, probably wouldn't do it again if anything happened. But that's just personal choice - I wouldn't judge others on it.