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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Massive argument

230 replies

witnessprotection73 · 26/08/2023 10:06

My DH & I generally get along really well- we’re extremely close, laugh a lot & just comfortably exist in one another company.

But 2/3 times a year we have a huge row over something or lots of small things that build up. But what makes it worst is he will blow up & say it’s over, sleep in the spare room & remove his wedding ring. It pisses me off and so last night I said yes I agree it is over because Im fed up of him pulling that card- it’s so unnecessary, we’re not young so I feel all the drama should be behind us. Normally the next day I will just act normal & it will be forgotten- one or both of us will apologise and that’s that. Today is different.

Today he had gone off to his Mums for the day which was pre arranged for us both to go- I don’t care as I now have a day for myself but I do feel more anxious & uneasy.

Does everyone have this? Like a couple of big blow ups or are we just a toxic mix?!

Should I just enjoy my unexpected free day?!

OP posts:
Original poster
witnessprotection73 · 01/09/2023 17:09

Yes he’s been married before. I haven’t, although I’ve had long term, cohabiting relationships.

OP posts:
RandomForest · 01/09/2023 17:40

His behaviour is controlling, his withdrawl of affection by sleeping in the other bedroom, his easy discard by leaving you and punishing you for wanting to be heard. So apparently he's the only one who can be hurt, you don't matter.

I think he's a selfish man child and this behaviour will not stop, it will only escalate.

Have you ever experienced this type of behaviour before, was your ex like this?

RandomForest · 01/09/2023 22:47

Anyway after the make up sex, the anger returns.

But you have to stuff it down so he doesn't flounce off again, don't lose yourself op.

Take care, come back if he's a shit again.

Strawberryboost · 03/09/2023 11:08

How’s it going op? The thread went from under no circumstances would you ever contemplate leaving him, to seriously thinking it’s over.

FWIW the latter would seem to me to be the sensible way forward. A very short marriage and already some serious negative crap going down

Strawberryboost · 03/09/2023 11:09

RandomForest · 01/09/2023 22:47

Anyway after the make up sex, the anger returns.

But you have to stuff it down so he doesn't flounce off again, don't lose yourself op.

Take care, come back if he's a shit again.

Have they even had make up sex?

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