OH Cheated on me :(

[AmyB13]

Please someone talk to me. I found out yesterday my OH of 8 years had a one night stand on Friday whilst I was away for the weekend with my DD.
The woman in question is someone I know from the pub me and my OH socialise in and she is actually supposed to be gay, so I'm extra confused about it all!
I found out because I couldn't get hold of my OH all evening and when he finally called me back he was being super shady. We have a joint phone contract so I checked the records and saw he had called a taxi about 15 mins before I spoke to him yet on the phone he was pretending he had fallen asleep and just woken up!
I returned from my weekend away yesterday and he couldn't continue his lie and told me what had happened. How he had gone out, got really drunk and that his woman had no way to get home so she came back with him as neither of them had any cash on them for a taxi and there was cash at our house. He says he doesn't really have a proper memory of what happened and he was very remorseful when he told me. Bordering on a panic attack, begging me not to leave him, saying he will do anything to fix things etc.
I really don't know what to do. I love him and can't imagine not being with him. Part of me wants to forgive and try to get past it, I can see what a huge mistake he thinks it is... but the other part of me feels sick to my stomach. I'm going in and out of shock with it atm, crying one minute, then angry, then numb. I don't want to be in my house because that's where this happened, I want space from him but I also want him to stay. I have a 12 year old daughter who isn't his but she thinks of him as a dad. If she knew what had happened she would be absolutely devastated. I don't want to put her through him leaving.
I also don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this. My family and friends will tell me to leave him and hate him, and then there's our joint friends who I'm not sure whether the advice would be for me or him.
I'm sorry for the long post, I'm hoping someone can offer me some comfort or advice? Thank you for reading x

then getting him to stop drinking would make him less unpleasant to be with

Sorry, I focused on the trauma aspect of living with having been cheated on and the fear of them doing it again sometime, but are you saying op has stated he's unpleasant to be around generally when drinking ... As well as everything else (?!) I missed that. I'd gotten the impression he was a periodic binge drinker but not causing op any real unpleasantness or inconvenience etc with his periodic binge drinking.

If he's been a pain in the arse when drinking as well ...... What more do you need to see?

After a while your dd won't be conveniently in bed/asleep when he's come home drink etc.

Yes.

I think stuff has gone on/is going on with op that makes her feel this way, and that's her business obviously; I just hope she can get help and surmount that.

You popped into my head today @AmyB13

I hope you're doing ok. We are still here if you haven't mentioned to people in real life